The little cube

The little cube

A Story by Sweet
"

My first time writing a little story. It was quite interesting, a bit different from writing poems ^_^

"
Once upon a time, there was a little girl.  
She had nothing special but an empty little cube.
She would slowly walk by the river, and although the scenery was magnificent, she didn't seem to enjoy it.
She looked lifeless; through her eyes, emptiness and chaos could be perceived. 
She held the little cube, tightly against her chest, and after a while, she would sit by the water and stare at the little cube with great sadness. 
Everyday, the same routine was repeated. 

But one morning, something appeared through the bushes. 
Surprised, the little girl lifted her head. It was a lovely bird. 
She stared at it for some time, until the bird came closer and talked to her. 
She was surprised that such a charming creature would get close to her. 
The bird asked her if it could join her on her everyday strolls?  
The little girl was astonished that not only the bird would talk to her, but it even asked her to accompany her during her boring everyday walks. 
A bunch of emotions built up inside her. She felt a little skeptical, but happy to finally have some company, so she accepted the offer.

As she would spend more and more time with the bird, the little cube that was once empty was starting to show some light. And the little girl that was once lifeless and empty, was finally showing signs of life.  
They would leisure by the water everyday, joking, laughing, looking at the beautiful scenery, and sharing stories of their past. 
The bird gave her wings so she could also fly along with it. She felt as if she was in heaven. 
The gorgeous scenery was even lovelier from the sky and she could finally enjoy it.  

One day the bird took the cube from her. 
She was so happy enjoying the sight that she didn't even realize it. 
But once the bird had stolen the cube, it started to make his presence more scarce, and the little girl started to feel empty again. 
Every time the bird would appear, she would feel bliss and her little cube would shine brightly.  
Then the bird would disappear once again taking the bright little cube with him. 
But day after day, the emptiness would grow bigger and the short appearances of the bird weren't enough anymore to make the little cube shine.  
Instead of flying high in the sky, the little girl started her lonely walks, once again.  
But now she had nothing to hold on to, she had lost the only thing she had, her empty little cube.  

One day the bird came back and there she saw her little cube; but it wasn't only empty, it was also cracked. 
She took it back with teary eyes and walked away. 
But once she tried to hold it tightly as she used to, it broke into tiny pieces that fell into the river. 
Without thinking she jumped right after them, trying to grasp them, but the current of the water was too strong. 
 She tried to swim against it with all her might, but it was in vain, she couldn't fight against it. 
The bird just watched her vanished into the distance, turned his back and flew away; while the little girl just drowned into deep loneliness once again. 

 The end

© 2016 Sweet



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Featured Review

For a "first story" this is amazing! This allegory is sweet & pure & gracefully stated. Your inherent lessons brought to mind everything from giving away one's heart/love/virginity/trust . . . to the way we can cling to something from the past, things which always get damaged along the way of life, & how such an event can destroy some people deeply. You've used metaphors thru-out which are woven together well. Great job!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sweet

1 Year Ago

Thanks you very much for reading my story Barley ^_^
I find your thoughts very interesting an.. read more
barleygirl

1 Year Ago

I find true stories much easier than fiction, too . . . good luck on your next story!



Reviews

A sad story written.
"She tried to swim against it with all her might, but it was in vain, she couldn't fight against it.
The bird just watched her vanished into the distance, turned his back and flew away; while the little girl just drowned into deep loneliness once again. "
I like the honest tone of the story and the sad ending left the reader with something to think about. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

Posted 9 Months Ago


Thank you for writing this. It sheds light on a very common, silent-crime.
Good job for your first.

PD

Posted 1 Year Ago


Sweet

1 Year Ago

Thank you for taking the time to read my story and sharing your thoughts ^_^
PhoenixDown

1 Year Ago

No problem!
For a "first story" this is amazing! This allegory is sweet & pure & gracefully stated. Your inherent lessons brought to mind everything from giving away one's heart/love/virginity/trust . . . to the way we can cling to something from the past, things which always get damaged along the way of life, & how such an event can destroy some people deeply. You've used metaphors thru-out which are woven together well. Great job!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sweet

1 Year Ago

Thanks you very much for reading my story Barley ^_^
I find your thoughts very interesting an.. read more
barleygirl

1 Year Ago

I find true stories much easier than fiction, too . . . good luck on your next story!
Whoa, this is interesting. You had me caring for this little girl from the very beginning. Though i didn't know what was so special about the cube, i knew it meant a lot to her and that was enough for me. In fact i really think it's better for it to mean a lot to her, than to know it's, market value, i guess you could say. The first thing i thought of when i read how the bird approached her with words, was the serpent talking to Eve, in the Bible. Though i suspected a similar outcome with your story, i shunned the thought when i read how happy she was to have a bird friend, and even his gift of wings to her, which by the way, i thought was a very nice touch for a bird to give her wings to fly. I never thought of a bird having some extra wings around somewhere. It made me smile, i admire your imagination. The sad ending left me sad for the little girl.

Amazing write!
Keep up the great work!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cyprian Van Dyke

1 Year Ago

It does make more sense. Thank you. The story is real, relevant to so many. Sorry for your bad exper.. read more
Sweet

1 Year Ago

Thanks. It's alright ^_^ what's important it's to grow from them and take the positive out of every .. read more
Cyprian Van Dyke

1 Year Ago

Affirmative! Well said!
This is a sad story. It's an interesting perspective on sorrow, loneliness, and disappointment, which are things that we all experience sometime in our lives. I wasn't sure about the significance of the bird and the cube at first. When the bird first came, I was hopeful that this would end up to be a positive story, and that the little girl would find joy and healing from her experiences with her new friend. But then came the twist of the bird taking away the cube, which, rather than relieving the girl of her dependence on it, drove her into even deeper pain and despair. However, while this ending is sad, it adds greater meaning to the story. This piece is a reflection of how things of this world, and even people (sometimes especially people), are often disappointments, not living up to our expectations and hopes and leaving us empty inside. You have characterized this experience in a unique and interesting manner through this piece. Nice work!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sweet

1 Year Ago

Thank you for reviewing the story ^_^
Yes, sometimes the people that we allow deep into our h.. read more
This is not bad for a first time short story! I'm a fan of simply written short stories like this, reminds me of the tight writing I've seen from other stories like it but reflect on much larger and deeper themes. You cover a lot of things here. Happiness, loneliness, love, heartbreak. I also feel like you cover the important topic of a heart encapsulated by the little cube. It's empty and just her little cube, nothing special; but she doesn't understand that what is special is her. A bird comes along, perhaps a representation of a friend/father/mother/lover and fills their cube/heart with love and joy. But, as life goes, things come and go. Even happiness has an expiration date, but that little girl needs to learn to grow her own wings one day and not rely on someone else to give them to her. Some sentences here and there could be fixed, and certain themes were too on-the-nose and could have been stronger if they were kept veiled strictly by the nature of the story itself. Good work!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sweet

1 Year Ago

Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts. I find your review very constructive and helpful to m.. read more
I really, really like this!!! You have done an excellent job. Initially I thought it was going to have a happy ending, and the middle was so sweet. I loved how the little girl got wings and was able to fly because I always imagined of flying with the birds as a young girl. I like how you didn't drag on with this, I often come across stories on here that are far too long for me to keep my attention to. While I was reading this poem I was trying to work out what the cube was. For me what the cube was, was the little girls problems. I find that the cube in this story is the heartache that we so often hold on to that it eventually drowns us in sadness. This story is intriguing, and although written in a very basic way, like a child's story, it is so deep and relates to larger, and more mature issues. Oh and I can't remember if I've said it already because I'm incredibly tired but I really like how you didn't make the ending happy. For me I find that too original and cheesy. Such a good story! You've done a really good job. I want to try and write stories but every time I try to I lose track with where I'm going and end up deleting the whole lot. I guess I'll get there one day, and in the meantime I always have poetry!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sweet

1 Year Ago

Hello Tamika ^_^
Thank you so much for your review.
I really appreciate your comments .. read more
Tamika Shingler

1 Year Ago

That's what I gathered from it!!! You did a great job! And it reminded me of a fable! Thank you, I'l.. read more

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Added on June 15, 2016
Last Updated on June 15, 2016
Tags: happiness, sadness, loneliness, joy, love, emptiness

Author

Sweet
Sweet

Candyland would be a sweet place to be <3



About
I'm just an average human, pretty random sometimes. I like to write about feelings and deep thoughts. Although my writings are mostly sad, I love to laugh and joke around. So I hope you can enjo.. more..

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