Prelude

 

          In the beginning, a third of the heavens were lost to Lucifer in the rebellion against our God Evo. A division among realms, that created two eternal dwelling places. One, now housing a multitude of demonic creatures, and a lost league of angelic beings; never again would they follow the ways of our Lord. Creatures, excommunicated for their betrayal. Living within a realm hidden from us all, for a period of a thousand years, and cast away by the hands of the Angel Abaddon -the angel with the key to the Abyss.

         Forever would these fallen souls remain followers and servants of Lucifer and his hellish empire. Until one day, when the realization of Lucifer's failures gave rise to a mutinous uprising.

          Now, with these fearsome hordes, the Dark One's traitorous second in command, Azazel, would attempt to change the fate of his dark brethren. He would lead his stolen army of the-Fallen in a revolt against the authority of Lucifer. Obsessed with the means to control and create a third realm; a hell on earth and the dawning of a new era for mankind. 

         It was said that once the gate to the abyss was opened after a period of a thousand years, angels of both good and evil, would roam the earth once more as guardians and predators of man. Watchers, waiting for the chance to change the course of our history; altering the very fabric of our reality, along with everything we've come to know and love. And now that chance had come, and I was the only one standing in their way...

 

 

 

 

 

Notes from the Author:

Prelude to The Gatekeeper Chronicles was inspired by the C. 1496-98 Woodcutting image "Angel with the Key of the Abyss" by Albrecht Durer; a German painter, printmaker, and theorist of Nuremberg, Bavaria, Germany.

Reviews

[Lorraine]

'Wow', that was the first word that came to my mind as I finished reading this. I haven't yet read the other chapters, but basing from this prelude, I'm pretty sure it'll be one amazing story. I like the fact that the prelude is short, direct to the point, and oh-so captivating. It gives a glimpse as to what this story's going to be about while at the same time preserving the story itself for the later chapters.

I know there's no such thing as a perfect piece, but I think criticizing this is beyond me. I can only say that I find this wonderful in every sense--the tone, grammar, mood, setting and everything else is just so excellent. You did a great job in here. Best of luck.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[Darken Eyes]

I loved it way to lure readers in, wonderful

[Thomas Pynk]

Ah! What a wonderful beginning! It so captures the attention of the reader!
I feel i must go on and i will!
With All Due Respect,
Thomas Pynk

[spence]

I read your authors note and see that you don't read much for the same reasons I don't! Interesting! I usually read factual things which far removed from anything I write in fiction,- though I do use poetry to voice my opinions on politics, etc and do a lot of research for that stuff.
Anyway!
I like this opening a great deal. It's very much like the opening narration to a movie and even though I'm a staunch Atheist i really like the idea of this. It already fees as if the bible has met the realm of fantasy fiction and even older creation myths than christianity. Sounds vaguely like the spirit realms will be along the lines of Sumerian, Babylonian Marduk- which is far more interesting than boring old God! Monotheism takes all the fun out of galactic battles for reality I think! I will head forth into chapter one and offer my honest opinion. Take care, spence

[London Calling]

This has a Divine Comedy feel to it. I love the imagery that you force into the readers mind without trying.

Loved it!

[Twilight]

A great introduction, Nataliya! The fantasy realm which you have visualised and shared with us, is both original and carefully worded. Were you aware that "Watchers" is a name used in a couple of films, although that will be mere coincidence. You have been careful to avoid using any language, which seem either too modern or colloquial for this fantasy genre.

If you don't mind me asking, perhaps you could point any the major influences on your writing style? Clearly, this is rather biblical. But, as an experienced and careful writer, you must be aware of that?

The final line, is clearly a good point at which to end this prelude. It is at the very moment, when a reader is likely to feel keen, to find out what happens, next!

Thankyou, for sharing this with your fellow members of the "Beyond Fantasy" Group! Your writing is always welcome here.....

[CLUTZ]

Honestly I wanna read more, this makes me wanna read more. I like it.....leaves me with questions and no answers.

[Greg Close]

Yup... warring angels and demons, dividing the heavens, one person standing in the way. What's not to like about that beginning? Got me curious.

Some of the sentences could potentially use some re-engineering. You've got most or all of the right words to get us where you want us, but I found some of the punctuation choices interrupted the flow of the intro just a little bit for me. (eg. "Creatures, excommunicated for their betrayal." seemed abrupt and threw me out of the narrative for a second). My little muppet brain might suggest smoothing the transition between the excommunication sentence and the Abaddon sentence. Say the same thing, just a little differently, and see what happens. Just a thought! :)

[carla]

kool already caught my attention

[Georgia Gypsy]

A very intriguing begining, I am interested to see where you are going with this. I have been cautioned about making rules for my story then breaking them,,,i noticed one of the reviewers seemed confused about the realms you have described, I will read further into your story...you may have resolved this small detail in some other way. An easy fix...great last line too.
Well written, I'm hooked.