Prologue: What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly (Bach)

Prologue: What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly (Bach)

A Chapter by Dawns
"

Dawns ©

"

How will our world change once humans are no longer in control of this planet? That question has plagued my mind for years. Yet I only realized the answer to this when what appeared to be the end had already revealed its ugly face, and the answer could not have been any simpler; the world as a whole will not change. Only the way we view it will.

 

The end had many names; the apocalypse, doomsday, and Armageddon, only scratch the surface of what we called this inevitable event. Yet in my opinion those titles do it no justice. The best title I could think of for this event was simply; another failure of humanity.

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© 2010 Dawns


Author's Note

Dawns
Review and rate Please!!!

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Reviews

This seems good so far. I'll definitely read more. An issue that bugs me is your use of punctuation. I like that you use semi-colons (very helpful device it is.) However you used them in the wrong places. You also had commas at the end of incomplete sentences, not just fragments, but incomplete thoughts that don't make sense on their own. You also capitalized a few words unnecessarily, and in the second sentence, "had" should be "has." Otherwise it should be dropped completely. It doesn't flow well the way it is. Just a few tips.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


I like it, the sort of thing I'd get into/read.
Just one point, the sentence here:
Yet I only came to realize the answer to this age old question when what appeared to be the end had already revealed its ugly face, and the answer could not have been any more simple; the world as a whole will not change, only the way we view it will.

would be better if it was a series of short sentences. It'll do more justice to what you're putting through to your readers. At least, in my opinion.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


I think doomsday is one word.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


Very interesting... you definitely have me hooked so far.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on June 18, 2010
Last Updated on July 9, 2010
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Author

Dawns
Dawns

Brampton, meh, Canada



About
I'm an 18 year old male, who really enjoys writing. . . It's how I escape from reality for a wile. I know I'm not a very good writer, I would classify myself as mediocre at best, even still its someth.. more..

Writing