"Tomorrow" he says

"Tomorrow" he says

A Chapter by TLK
"

Partly from my own childhood.

"
Only one person goes into Father's room

It is not me.
His sleeping threatens you from his bed.
His breath is sour vinegar and dust.
And,
if you are too loud,
He shouts.

Only one person goes into Father's room.
It is not my younger brother.
"I am not going," he cries.
Not even if you tease him with a toy in the dark corner.
A fabulous toy.
Almost seen in the darkest corner furthest from the door.
No matter how fabulous you make it,
Even when his fingers are grabbing at the air,
And the breath comes out of his wet lips in whistles,
And he is touching the door,
And the door creaks at his touch,
He is already past the floorboards which made the same noise,
He is so close,
He will not do it.
"There is no toy," he will whisper
And even though he is right
You must say
"You are chicken."
But you say this quietly too.
Because,
if you are too loud,
He shouts.

Only one person goes into Father's room.
It is not Mother.
Instead, she calls up from the bottom of the stairs.
She will listen for a while.
She will get nothing.
Then, calling him names,
She will come up the stairs,
Stamping her feet.
She will call out from the landing.
She will listen for a while.
She will get nothing.
Finally she walks up to the door of the bedroom.
She will shout from there.
Sometimes she shouts once.
Sometimes she shouts many times.
She is too loud.
He shouts.
He is louder than her but she has more words to say.
"You are pissing your parents' money away!"
That sounds painful to me.
"Your sickness is called laziness!"
I hope I do not get laziness.
I do not want to be in bed all day.

Only one person goes into Father's room.
It is the charwoman, with her broom.
Once a week she opens the curtain.
He groans.
I listen at the door.
She is busy, cleaning.
She tells him that he has made a disgraceful mess.
She tells him that he has a family to look after.

She is soft, but she is not scared.

He talks to her.
He does not shout.
"Tomorrow," he says.




© 2013 TLK



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Featured Review

Possibly the best and most complete work I've read on here. I absolutely love the story with it's clear, precise language. You've accomplished the perspective of a child flawlessly. I'm impressed a great deal by this poem and I do think it could be published.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Libby

5 Years Ago

You could publish that last one as a poem, easily.
TLK

5 Years Ago

It has more worth, hidden here, potentially only ever to be read by you.

Unless, of cou.. read more
Libby

5 Years Ago

I guess that's fair enough. Prose before hoes/bro's.



Reviews

This is great. Interesting message, well written, and unique format. Honestly, I wouldn't change anything. The writing was so... real. Well done.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Years Ago


A definitely deep work of art. You have described familial neglect and a child's not-so childish fears of authority and the unknown in such a powerful way. Bravo!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

5 Years Ago

Yep, neglect is really the word that sums up this whole situation. Good insight.
Possibly the best and most complete work I've read on here. I absolutely love the story with it's clear, precise language. You've accomplished the perspective of a child flawlessly. I'm impressed a great deal by this poem and I do think it could be published.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Libby

5 Years Ago

You could publish that last one as a poem, easily.
TLK

5 Years Ago

It has more worth, hidden here, potentially only ever to be read by you.

Unless, of cou.. read more
Libby

5 Years Ago

I guess that's fair enough. Prose before hoes/bro's.

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913 Views
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Added on August 6, 2012
Last Updated on April 14, 2013
Tags: laziness, alcoholism, child
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Author

TLK
TLK

Birmingham, West Midlands, United Kingdom



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Signed up to the Pledge to Civil Conduct in Discourse on Writer's Cafe: please challenge me if you think I am breaking either the letter or the spirit of the rules. I try to review well myself (see.. more..

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