hands at ears hair splayed screaming

hands at ears hair splayed screaming

A Chapter by TLK

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This is a previous version of hands at ears hair splayed screaming.



hands at ears hair splayed screaming

 

hands at ears hair splayed screaming
the baby copying her tears snot streaming
is how I remember her always have always will
gripped with need for some small pill
or syringe or
--

I'm holding her mother's hand, and - lying -
Say that I loved her more as she was dying.
Ignoring the cause, ignoring my guilt
Their guilt too; all a patchwork quilt.
Crazy paving, joined together.
Hands all linked in forgetting whether
We were the cause of the start, the end,
Or the middle, where she showed that she would tend
--
Maybe our actions sped her up, catalysed?
We do not ask.

                Our mouths all lie that we are surprised.

--she is pregnant hands encircling
rich and fertile with a hidden promise
boy or girl?
We know now so
we celebrate
even though we had made a promise not to
was that the start?

The hardest question comes last,
At last,
"Will the baby remember her past?
Yes, I say, from far away,
We'll say a prayer on Mother's day.
There will be a picture (blown-up huge), I'll ask who's that?
She'll look up brightly from her activity mat--


I float away, mouth using persuasive platitudes,
Telling them she will know her mother's multitudes,
Wondering whether my memories can be falsified.
Wondering whether I will remember that I lied.


--I'm holding her mother's hand, and - lying -
Say that I love her most now she is dead.
I have fooled her, she looks down, sighing,
But her father's red-rimmed eyes hold steady on my head.




© 2012 TLK





Featured Review

Completely blown away by this. The story is so real, the use of flow, language, alliteration , rhyme and repetition build it up into this enormously accomplished poem. None of these elements stick out awkwardly,they just sit so well. Easily publish-able I'd say.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 4 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

I don't know where this came from -- I tend to avoid rhyme (and, nowadays, I tend to write prose poe.. read more



Reviews

Great flow and nice rhyme scheme.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

Yes, I rhyme very rarely, so I am happy that this one reads OK.
Completely blown away by this. The story is so real, the use of flow, language, alliteration , rhyme and repetition build it up into this enormously accomplished poem. None of these elements stick out awkwardly,they just sit so well. Easily publish-able I'd say.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 4 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

I don't know where this came from -- I tend to avoid rhyme (and, nowadays, I tend to write prose poe.. read more
I love the use of alliteration to create a quick rhythm for the piece. Very interesting

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

I think the rhythm is supposed to mirror the speaker's wish: he wants this horrible ticking-clock pa.. read more
Intense. A good poem. Nice work.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 4 Years Ago


TLK

4 Years Ago

Thank you for noticing the intensity. It's why I wrote i t.
I loved this piece. It had that burning intensity that I enjoyed. I am speechless. I loved the power and I loved the flow. It was a great piece. Thank you for sharing.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

I think this is the most intense thing I wrote. I really felt the scene when I wrote this. I almost .. read more
TLK

4 Years Ago

"I think this is the most intense thing I've written so far," I mean.
Angie Diane♥♥

4 Years Ago

That's always a good thing in poetry. :3
I loved it!
Oh, boy!
Can I see this performed, please?

The intensity and flow of this is something fiery and real.
And, the style it's written in is grand.

Love it!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Elephants & Coyotes

5 Years Ago

Understandable - this coming from an actress, however.
MAKE IT HAPPEN.

I was real.. read more
TLK

5 Years Ago

Another problem: I don't have any beatnik attire.
Elephants & Coyotes

5 Years Ago

Haha then I'll let it slide, this time.
I am in awe.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

5 Years Ago

I'd be happier if I was able to use different kinds of dash (http://csswizardry.com/2010/01/the-thre.. read more

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7 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 5 Libraries
Added on August 6, 2012
Last Updated on September 9, 2012
Tags: untruths


Author

TLK
TLK

Birmingham, West Midlands, United Kingdom



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Signed up to the Pledge to Civil Conduct in Discourse on Writer's Cafe: please challenge me if you think I am breaking either the letter or the spirit of the rules. I try to review well myself (see.. more..

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Tram lines Tram lines

A Poem by TLK



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