The Boy Sang Circles

The Boy Sang Circles

A Chapter by TLK
"

First attempt at a prose poem. More description of what this kind of writing is supposed to accomplish can be found in my blog.

"
Previous Version
This is a previous version of The Boy Sang Circles.



Young, yes, but even so the boy sang circles ‘round the sallow priest.  The older man was young, too, almost too young to shoulder his responsibilities.  Undisturbed by time, unbowed by gravity, he was still: tall, straight, like a candle, smelling of tallow, waxy and sinuous.  He burned dimly with certainty, the simple certainty of the taught.  This was the priest, but also burning was the song, the singer, for he sang circles unbroken, in simplicity complete.
Arms outstretched the priest defended himself, swept harm away, thin fingers waving like long grass.  The boy’s fingers were smaller still, spurs of heedless logic erected on innocent hands, too monkey-like to grasp the necessity of tradition.
"So, God knows what we will do tomorrow?”
"Yes, yes," answered the priest, annoyed already.  Always annoyed at the impositions of children, who call and caterwaul when they have not learned respect, who do not learn respect in an age of information, who do not shut their eyes against the dark awe of the ineffable in a time where physical science is evident even in their blinking flashing facile toys.  They could discern the shimmer of self-importance in any lie and, exploiting it, point out hypocrisy.  Even if the word was unknown to them.
Still spinning, light glinting from him, the boy was marvellous and profound without even trying.  "But we do what we want?"  His head flamed too, not the guttering candle flame but instead the true brightness of a star.
"Yes, yes," answered the priest, "we have free will."
"But God wants what is best?"  The boy sang, the circle tightened.
"Yes, yes," answered the priest.  "God always wants the best.  Everything is for the best, for God has willed it."
"So what I do tomorrow God already sees.  What God wants is the best.  If what he saw was not best, he would change it."  The boy was concluding that everything was for the best, all he did was for the best, for this was always the best of all possible worlds.  And his head rang with the circuit of the song, for it came back around and completed itself.

The priest pinched fingers at his nose.  "You do not understand."




© 2012 TLK



Author's Note

TLK
Prose poetry.



Featured Review

Ohh, how much do I love this!
And, your VOICE.
I love stumbling across great writers - but, it's even better when they find me, first!
The mood setting of this piece is perfect, and I love the idea being played with.
And, the way you spoke of each bit of it,
"almost too young to shoulder his responsibilities."
"Undisturbed by time, unbowed by gravity"
and THIS
"spurs of heedless logic erected on innocent hands, too monkey-like to grasp the necessity of tradition."

I want to quote this entire piece and comment on each, bit by bit, just to show you "how" I am appreciating it.

Can't wait to read more of your work!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Elephants & Coyotes

5 Years Ago

Love the decisions you made in this!
Assonance is fun and sneaky.
It makes your pieces w.. read more
TLK

5 Years Ago

I'm a little addicted to alliteration. I find it really hard to edit it out when it comes up, even .. read more
Elephants & Coyotes

5 Years Ago

A little assonance goin' on, in that comment.. =p



Reviews

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Pax
their talk was interesting...
"So, God knows what we will do tomorrow?”
~ i think that there are more than on what we know about god...its still a mysterious case for me but then i believe his just there watching...


This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

I am very pleased that this piece prompted thoughts in you. You are a very receptive reader.
In one word: ...Fascinating.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

5 Years Ago

Thank you for being fascinated.
circles in the sand :)

i can't help being biased towards the boy - although officially i'm a christian, orthodox, unofficially i have this issue with the traditions of religion and priests and so on. therefore i couldn't stop a smile when i got to the line "if what he saw was not the best, he would change it" - what a beautifully comfortable umbrella under which to shelter one's self-assurance!

i like the tone of this, a little ambiguous, with a shade of uncertainty and a grain of "maybe" left hanging unsaid at the corner of lines :).

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

5 Years Ago

There are probably maybes at the corner of my mouth. I am infested with them. They are the lice th.. read more
Very detailed and interesting. Being Jewish, I've never known much about priests and stuff. This poem was has a very smooth atmosphere and I enjoyed this poem very much :). Also, the ending stood out to me. The boy speaks his thoughts in a very intelligent way and yet, the priest says the boy doesn't understand.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

5 Years Ago

I don't know much about priests either, I managed to avoid them even though one side of my family wa.. read more
Ohh, how much do I love this!
And, your VOICE.
I love stumbling across great writers - but, it's even better when they find me, first!
The mood setting of this piece is perfect, and I love the idea being played with.
And, the way you spoke of each bit of it,
"almost too young to shoulder his responsibilities."
"Undisturbed by time, unbowed by gravity"
and THIS
"spurs of heedless logic erected on innocent hands, too monkey-like to grasp the necessity of tradition."

I want to quote this entire piece and comment on each, bit by bit, just to show you "how" I am appreciating it.

Can't wait to read more of your work!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Elephants & Coyotes

5 Years Ago

Love the decisions you made in this!
Assonance is fun and sneaky.
It makes your pieces w.. read more
TLK

5 Years Ago

I'm a little addicted to alliteration. I find it really hard to edit it out when it comes up, even .. read more
Elephants & Coyotes

5 Years Ago

A little assonance goin' on, in that comment.. =p

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6 Reviews
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Added on August 20, 2012
Last Updated on September 9, 2012
Tags: prose poem, religion, questioning, innocence, consonance, alliteration


Author

TLK
TLK

Birmingham, West Midlands, United Kingdom



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