Phosphor

The old man stood in my porch, hemmed in by the glass, fringed by spring daffodils. I didn't know him well enough to say that it was clearly his fault, and I never try to insult my neighbours. So I just nodded as he described his wife of so many years up-and-leaving: with one bag full of crammed whatevers, and one past full of blame. He clasped himself against the shaking hate he had felt. He held himself tightly. It is hot when people speak those words. It is hot enough to burn through bone.

Author's Note

Inspired by all the fire imagery in Saint No-One's A Brighter Spark.

Reviews

[sasha]

On the whole, the writing is focused. The title of the poem is very good! Phosphor is a pleasant-sounding word, from my point of view.
I was attentive while reading the poem and enjoyed your English. And the ending, two last lines are powerful and I believe, (as Stanislavsky said). Thank you, TLK.

PS. What a nice image in front of your profile!! I like those ravens.

[TLK]

Thank you for enjoying my poem. One thing: what did Stanislavsky say? I think you might have left a sentence unfinished.

[The_Metal_Guru]

An interesting poem that really kept my attention. 'With one bag full of crammed whatevers' - I adore this line! I particularly like the indifference and distance created between the two characters.

[Emily B]

I read A Brighter Spark and noted that you were inspired. I'm glad to have found the proof :)

the first time that i began to realize who and what i am was when i read an email from an angry stranger and it burnt my cheeks, it isn't the words that break our bones but the emotions underneath them

[sasha]

I just quoted the well-known expression "I believe". "The audience is only going to believe that you are the person.. Acting is all about Belief and Creative Imagination". You gave a vivid description of the time, situation, conversation with your neighbour etc., and as a result convinced a reader of the truth of the story.

[TLK]

I had an inkling you meant Stanislavsky as in acting. I will think about that advice some more, and see if I can continue to create characters/actors who exemplify a living, breathing person. Thank you.