Tram lines

Tram lines

A Poem by TLK

Lying to himself had been too easy for too long. He looked at his hands: so like his grandfather's, restless in their strength, eager to hew and saw. He wiggled his tongue: so like his father's, shy until loosened by alcohol. Without a mirror he still knew his face to be kind and forgiving like his mother's, despite his square jaw. Since achieving a pretence of independence he had thought himself a self-made man, springing whole out of his own head like an insanely incestuous Athena. Now he realised that 'to discover yourself' means that you already exist -- he had been on tram lines the whole time. He had followed his passions, forgetting that his passions were in his heart to begin with. "I was a piece of marble," he said to himself, whisky helping him talk. "And in it I found the soul of the material, the shape that was always meant to be expressed." Perhaps this is self-made enough, he thought. And then he felt shame, for other hands had worked on that marble, and he had belittled them for touching him.

© 2013 TLK



My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

We are what we are, flaws and all and, it's the flaws that make us human, whether self.inflicted or adorned by the world in which we live. Surely? Whether we live alone or with others, thought will fly us into another place and whatever wholeness or purity we lean towards will slowly, slowly bend. It's life, not guilt.

Your writing pushes the reader.reviewer onto another level, that's always so very welcome.

Posted 4 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

Thank you for being willing to be 'pushed' -- it's this kind of acceptance that makes me want to kee.. read more



Reviews

Wow, that last line, "for other hands had worked on that marble," resolves his conflict and demonstrates his self-awareness all in one compact sentence. We all yearn to be individuals and to rid ourselves of flaws, but you teach us here that an individual is defined by one's flaws and the collection of memories, traits, and flaws that one inherits from the their loved ones. Unique in this sense means a lot of common traits thrown into a melting pot to form something beautifully flawed. I also enjoyed the way your poem formed a block, like a block of marble. Was this intended? Thanks for your time!

Posted 2 Years Ago


This is very good work. I like this poem and your writing in general because it outlines features or the human struggle which we all identify with. When I read your work, it makes me think deep about the concepts your are expressing. The imagery that come to mind as I read your work is wonderful as well.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very cool piece!! (Sorry, let's start again... Hi there, Nice to meet you, I'm Dan) I like the zen approach to one's self and the underlying nod to self awareness. And of course, it's very well written. The imagery is tight and to the point, not a syllable wasted, always a sign to me of a good writer. As this is the first piece of yours I've read and I'm quite new here, I'm still getting used to reviewing. Thanks for sharing and i look forward to reading more.

Posted 2 Years Ago


So inspiring! I love how he is comparing himself to his elders. It shows wisdom.

Posted 2 Years Ago


I like this simple yet unique write-up. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Unique and excellent write!

Posted 2 Years Ago


thanks for sharing this interesting poem TLK

Posted 2 Years Ago


There's a rich story shining through the prose in this. It's resonating with me personally after moving from Michigan, where the Horatio Alger "self-made man" ideal is still preached, to New York, where you're thrown into a microsociety that requires coexistence and self expression.

Posted 3 Years Ago


I really like how different this piece is to different works, as in this looks at flaws and not strengths. Good job.

Posted 4 Years Ago


This also doesn't rhyme very much i think you need to practice what you preach

Posted 4 Years Ago


0 of 2 people found this review constructive.

TLK

4 Years Ago

I'm sorry. You clearly meant "This also doesn't rhyme very much. I think you need to practice what y.. read more
cimmy wuv xxxooo

4 Years Ago

Well whatever it is i didnt like it at all.
Wow so my spellings not perfect you understood wh.. read more
TLK

4 Years Ago

"Well, whatever it is I didn't like it at all. Wow, so my spelling's not perfect, you understood wha.. read more

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1972 Views
29 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on May 31, 2013
Last Updated on May 31, 2013
Tags: haw, saw, wiggling, loosen, forgive

Author

TLK
TLK

Birmingham, West Midlands, United Kingdom



About
Signed up to the Pledge to Civil Conduct in Discourse on Writer's Cafe: please challenge me if you think I am breaking either the letter or the spirit of the rules. I try to review well myself (see.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..