Tram lines

Lying to himself had been too easy for too long. He looked at his hands: so like his grandfather's, restless in their strength, eager to hew and saw. He wiggled his tongue: so like his father's, shy until loosened by alcohol. Without a mirror he still knew his face to be kind and forgiving like his mother's, despite his square jaw. Since achieving a pretence of independence he had thought himself a self-made man, springing whole out of his own head like an insanely incestuous Athena. Now he realised that 'to discover yourself' means that you already exist -- he had been on tram lines the whole time. He had followed his passions, forgetting that his passions were in his heart to begin with. "I was a piece of marble," he said to himself, whisky helping him talk. "And in it I found the soul of the material, the shape that was always meant to be expressed." Perhaps this is self-made enough, he thought. And then he felt shame, for other hands had worked on that marble, and he had belittled them for touching him.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

We are what we are, flaws and all and, it's the flaws that make us human, whether self.inflicted or adorned by the world in which we live. Surely? Whether we live alone or with others, thought will fly us into another place and whatever wholeness or purity we lean towards will slowly, slowly bend. It's life, not guilt.

Your writing pushes the reader.reviewer onto another level, that's always so very welcome.

[TLK]

Thank you for being willing to be 'pushed' -- it's this kind of acceptance that makes me want to keep writing.

[Owls in the City]

I really love this. The older I get, the more I feel that the trials of being a modern human have a lot to do with a lack of connection to the trials and struggles of those who have come before us. It seems that shame is a rite of passage that is involved in eventually becoming humbled and gaining great respect for the shoulders we stand on. Our sense of self respect is fueled by this which manifests itself in dedication,hard work and striving to play a role in the legacy of the human race. It's an important part of the human condition and I can't imagine seeing it expressed more elegantly and creatively than you have here. A most impressive piece!!!

[Hannah Grace]

This was great...pen on!!!

[hcarson]

I enjoyed this, its a different style tovwhat i normally read so was unsure what to expect but i liked it and will definitely read more..when i'm more awake! True words written and i thinkna lot of people will relate well this

[Alison Gross]

very nicely written. Well done.

[Ron Spice]

Wow, that last line, "for other hands had worked on that marble," resolves his conflict and demonstrates his self-awareness all in one compact sentence. We all yearn to be individuals and to rid ourselves of flaws, but you teach us here that an individual is defined by one's flaws and the collection of memories, traits, and flaws that one inherits from the their loved ones. Unique in this sense means a lot of common traits thrown into a melting pot to form something beautifully flawed. I also enjoyed the way your poem formed a block, like a block of marble. Was this intended? Thanks for your time!

[Dave K]

This is very good work. I like this poem and your writing in general because it outlines features or the human struggle which we all identify with. When I read your work, it makes me think deep about the concepts your are expressing. The imagery that come to mind as I read your work is wonderful as well.

[daninstockholm]

Very cool piece!! (Sorry, let's start again... Hi there, Nice to meet you, I'm Dan) I like the zen approach to one's self and the underlying nod to self awareness. And of course, it's very well written. The imagery is tight and to the point, not a syllable wasted, always a sign to me of a good writer. As this is the first piece of yours I've read and I'm quite new here, I'm still getting used to reviewing. Thanks for sharing and i look forward to reading more.

[Riversong]

So inspiring! I love how he is comparing himself to his elders. It shows wisdom.

[Ashadan]

I like this simple yet unique write-up. Thanks for sharing.

[Raja Anjana Kothapalli]

Unique and excellent write!