Five

I awake, mind clear, to the delicate, golden rays of the mountain morning sunlight filtering through the window, casting tranquil streaks of pale yellow across my bed. Stretching, I turn and reach for my phone on the small nightstand next to my bed. It’s 8:47 A.M. Considering I went to bed just after three in the morning, I feel very rested. Not one for laying around in bed all day, I throw the covers back and swing my legs over the side of my bed.

I slide my feet into a pair of cheap, purple flip-flops and shuffle over to the window, still not fully awake. I pull open both sides of the sheer curtains and let the cheerful morning sun flood my room. So bright, I have to shade my eyes with the back of my hand to keep from being blinded.

Everything outside my window is painted in vibrant shades of sunlit green. The delicate aspen leaves are flittering in a gentle breeze, the soft waves of the lake are gently lapping on the shore, the brilliant blue of the cloudless, late summer sky highlighting the jagged peaks of the Sangre de Cristos. I softly sigh, it is truly a picture of perfection and now it’s my home.

Below the towering aspens, I see a few students milling about. Some are walking around the trail that circles the Rec field and winds its way through campus, trying to get their training in before the heat of the day sets in. Some are heading towards the main doors of the Recreation Center, gym bags and various items in tow. I watch a few students jog by on the nearest part of the trail, and the sudden desire to join in on a run of my own brings a restlessness to my legs.

 Running has always been a passion of mine. Though I was a sprinter, and a fairly decent one at that, I have always enjoyed the therapy of a long run. There’s something cathartic about it. It’s as if, for that tiny spec of time, all is right in the universe. It’s cleansing and the well-worn trail is calling me. Deciding that I must run this morning before I do anything else, I make my way to the bathroom to get ready.

I notice that Cat has left the door leading to her bedroom cracked open. I creep over and peek in her room, careful not to make any noise that may wake her. I notice her mop of thick, dark waves tumbling out from beneath a mound of pink and white blankets and pillows.

Perfect. I’ll go for a quick run and hopefully be back by the time she’s up. I gently pull Cat’s bathroom door shut and begin to ready myself.

Even though it is still late summer and the days can get rather warm as the sun rises in the sky, the mountain mornings can be chilly. There’s already a trace of early fall in the air. Checking the weather app on my phone, I see that it is currently fifty-five degrees with a high of seventy-four. Rummaging through my running attire in my closet, I opt to wear to my navy blue running tights, cropped just below the knees, a black performance tank, and a lightweight neon-yellow pullover, for good measure. I quickly lace up my favorite running shoes, matching in color to my neon pullover, and head back to the bathroom.

Studying myself in the mirror, I notice the dark circles that had developed under my eyes yesterday have vanished. I must have slept really well because I actually look rested. I quickly brush my teeth and pull my long auburn layers back in a high ponytail.

Figuring I ought to do the whole courteous roommate thing, I go to the small desk in my room and rummage through a drawer looking for something to write on. I curse my lack of organization skills as I dig through the mess and finally find a notepad at the bottom of the drawer. I tear off a square of the neon pink paper, and scribble a quick note to Cat.

Gone for a run! Be back soon�"Cailan

I return back to the bathroom and tuck the note into the bottom corner of her mirror’s gilded frame.

I make my way through my room and to the kitchen to get a piece of the gum that I had stashed away in one of the drawers the day before. I stand in front of the small window above the sink as I unwrap the gum and slide the blinds open. Sunlight floods the kitchen, making the granite and stainless fixtures gleam. Despite the day being in full force just beyond the window, there’s a peacefulness resting amidst our sweet.

I remove my suite key from my lanyard and place it, along with my student I.D., inside of the small pocket on the waist band of my running tights. Picking up my phone, I decide to shoot Uncle Oliver a text before I place it in the arm band I use when I run.

Morning! First night was great! Going for a run now, keep me posted on your trip.

Thanks for everything yesterday!

I hit send and slide my phone into the arm band. Placing my wireless earbuds in my ears, I select my favorite running playlist, adjust the volume, and head out the door. Completely and irrevocably believing that today will be a great day.

I walk with a brisk pace down the hallway, my running shoes squeaking on the polished marble floor. I opt to take the stairs rather than the elevator, seeing as how I’m about to go for a run and all. It’s really quiet on my floor. In fact, I’ve not seen nor met anyone else residing on my floor other than Cat. Not that that’s out of the norm for me, I one hundred percent claim my loner status. I’m naturally more of a wallflower type, so going out and meeting people isn’t on the top of the list of things I enjoy doing. But, I promised myself that I’d make the best of college, and I’m going to do my best to stick to my word. I make a quick mental note to try to make more friends.

I am reminded of something my mom would always say when I was young and struggling with those feeble childhood friendships. She would gently place her delicate hands around my face and look me in the eyes, her fiery red curls framing her own pine green eyes. “Cailan RiCae, there will be a time when you find the group of people you are meant to be with. They will accept you for who you are, and they will love you for that. And I promise you, they won’t ever ask you to change a thing about yourself for them.” I can remember the gentle sureness in her voice. The way her pine green eyes would glimmer with a life of their own as she so often spoke words straight from her soul. It was as if her beautiful eyes could barely contain the life dancing behind them. Like she was somehow bigger than her body�"somehow more.

I take the stairs down to the lobby two at a time. Entering the lobby, I notice that there aren’t many people in the dining area of the cafeteria. I figure it is Saturday, after all, and most people are probably still asleep. Especially if their first day was anything like mine.

I head out the side entrance of the lobby, facing the Rec fields and jogging trail. It’s a perfect morning to go for a run. There’s a slight early-Autumn chill in the air and not even the slightest breeze rustling through the leaves. The scent of dew and pine and aspen is thick in the air. Finding a place in the fresh-cut grass of the courtyard, still damp with morning dew, I do a few stretches to limber up my limbs.

A tiny moan escapes me as I stretch the still-sore muscles in my back. I guess moving boxes around yesterday was tougher work than I thought. I finally finish stretching and make my way across the courtyard towards the trail.

Hitting the volume button on my phone, I turn my music up, step on the running trail, and easily find my pace. The crushed, red cinder of the three-mile long trail is thick and soft under the pounding of my feet. I take in the picturesque scenery of Aspen Springs University as I settle into my run. The trail winds throughout the towering aspens and pines as it loops its way around the campus.

I continue my pace, winding my way throughout meticulously landscaped courtyards and around all of the stately, gothic buildings that make up ASU. Just over a mile into the trail, it turns and leads to the Red River, following the swift, rolling current for about a quarter of a mile. The current bubbles against the river rock along the banks of the river.

ASU is silent this morning, serene. As I run, it feels like I have the entire campus to myself. It’s just me and this red cinder trail, winding ourselves through magic of the mountains. I find it very easy to clear my mind of any thoughts and just run. Releasing myself fully to my run, I quicken my pace. My breaths falling in unison with my feet as they swiftly propel down the trail.

As I approach the final mile of the trail, my lungs begin to tighten. Every breath I take burns. Mesa is located in a desert basin, I’m not used to running in high altitude. I will definitely have to retrain my body to handle this. I swallow hard against the pain and drive me legs harder�"just a little further.

The last leg of the trail winds its way around the Rec fields and snakes back to the starting point. Still managing to drive my legs past the fire threatening to steal them, I make my way around one side of the enormous, grassy fields. The main entrance of the Recreation Center is just ahead. As I near the sliding glass doors of the main entrance I’m suddenly struck with the unnerving sensation of him�"being very near me.

The awareness that was ever so present yesterday, is back and in full-force. My stomach knots as tension swims through my veins, spreading like wildfire. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. My body knows that I’m being watched by him. My legs betray the warnings in my brain screams as I begin to slow my pace. My inner-self pounces on the opportunity.

Again? Why don’t you just pack it up and move in with him�"you’re obviously obsessed.

Annoyed with myself, I flick my eyes over to the Rec Center parking lot and instantly find Brayan. He and two other equally muscular and powerful guys are walking towards the main doors of the Rec. The sight of the three of them together makes something inside of me shiver. I definitely wouldn’t want to pick a fight with that lot. By now, my running has come to a complete stop. I’m too taken by the warring tension raging inside my veins, knotting in my gut, and the unabating need to follow him, to even attempt to carry on.

Being the naturally curious person that I am, and shocked to see that he does in fact have friends, I decide that it’s in my best interest to follow Brayan and the others into the Rec Center. Part of me realizes that this is probably not the smartest idea I’ve ever had, but that part of me is quickly silenced by the demand to know more about this guy, coursing through my veins. The feeling growing more intense with each second that passes. Words of go and follow resonate within my core.

I watch from a safe distance as they enter the main doors and disappear inside the monstrous complex. Nervous energy has made me very aware of my surroundings. I hear a few birds singing their morning hellos, perched in a nearby aspen. I hear a couple of girls laughing about something as they walk past me on the trail. And I hear my heart pounding inside my chest, setting a beat for the feeling strumming through my body.

I stand vigil for an eternity of seconds and finally strum up enough courage to enter the Rec Center. I walk with a brisk pace up to the gleaming, glass doors of the main entrance. The facility looming just beyond them, shadowed by the slight tent of the glass. I hesitantly reach for the brass handle of one door and enter, finding myself being greeted by two large, granite statues of the Greek Olympian God and Goddess, Hermes and Nike, respectively. Their pale-white coloring in stark contrast to the dimly lit foyer of the facility.

Normally, one may find this a strange site to see in a gym, but on the campus of Aspen Springs, I’m quickly finding that anything is possible. This is, after all, home of the brainiacs and all things strange.

The Rec Center is split into three sprawling levels. One above me and one below, with the main entrance opening into the second level. I tentatively glance around, not seeing Brayan or his friends anywhere. Ever the more curious as to where he went and who his friends, I approach the front desk. I quickly retrieve my I.D. card so that the girl working the front desk can swipe it and allow me access into the main facility.

“Card,” she barks as I hand over my I.D. Her lips are pressed in a thin line and her brows creased together. She swipes my card and I head through the turnstile, wondering who or what could have possible ruined her day already.

From where I stand, I can go left down a hallway that will lead me to three different weight rooms, a cardio room, several multipurpose courts, and the locker rooms. I can go to my right and look over a glass barrier that opens to a view of the basketball courts one floor below. Or, I can walk straight ahead to a stairwell that will lead me to the indoor track and additional cardio area above, or down to the basketball courts and equipment rental office below.

I choose to first look over the glass barrier and see if I can spot any one of the three guys on the hardwood courts below. I have no such luck. I chew on my bottom lip, and sort through my options. I decide to check out weight rooms. I mean, they are three extremely muscular guys, I think my choice is valid.

I’m suddenly aware that in my neon pullover, I am way too visible. This is obviously a covert mission�"I don’t want to be caught stalking them. I quickly remove the pullover and roll it up in my arms.

Like that’s going to help you hide. Please.

I want to scream at my inner-self to shut up already as I cautiously walk down the long multicolor carpeted hallway, past the locker rooms. A faint tingle sparks at the base of my spine and I know that I’m getting close. I wonder again how it is that my body knows when he is near. It’s not a painful or unpleasant reaction�"it never has been. It’s just present, constantly reminding me of my own body’s ability to expose my arcane temptations. 

And what are you going to do if he sees you? If you turn the next corner and run right into him.

I didn’t think this plan through all that well. Who am I kidding. I didn’t think at all. I’m standing here, now, because of some inane instinct that has caused my body to negate my common sense. But it’s too late to bail now�"I’m already in this deep. There’s no turning back, no returning to the simplicity of the life I had before moving here yesterday.

I suck in a deep breath, clench my neon hoodie tightly in my fist, and round the corner that leads to the largest of the three weight rooms. I stop just outside the archway leading to the room. The weight room’s front walls have several narrow floor-to-ceiling windows spanning the length of the rectangular room, providing plenty of natural light that bathes the various platforms and racks in bright sunlight.

The warmth of the spark building at the base of my spine slightly intensifies.

He’s in there.

I panic and flatten myself against the wall of the corridor. The light grey plaster of the wall is cool on the exposed skin of shoulders and arms. I roll my head to my left, letting the coolness of the wall settle the sweat building across my brow. I breathe in deeply�"once, twice. And try to will my nerves away.

I push myself off of the wall and gather enough courage to peer through the nearest window. My eyes spot him quickly�"too quickly. As if they too have joined in the revolt of my body against my common sense, knowing exactly where he is at all times. I scan the surroundings. There aren’t but a handful of patrons using this particular weight room. A few using free weights and a few using some of the larger racks for powerlifting.

Brayan is standing with his back facing me, looking towards one of the mirrors that line the inside wall of the weight room. He works with a set of dumbbells that look like they each weigh as much as I do. One of his friends, a tall redhead, is spotting for the other friend who is at the bench press across the room from Brayan. The bar bending and giving against the heavy force of the weights on each end of it. The friend expels a deep breath and easily pushes the massive weight of the bar up and back on the rack. A small smirk of appreciation forms on the lips of the brawny, golden-haired friend spotting for him.

All three of these guys are definitely no strangers to a weight room. Each one very intimidating in his own right, with their staggeringly powerful physiques and towering heights. I’m not really sure what they are doing here at ASU. But I’m entirely sure they could be making millions obliterating people in a professional sport of their choosing. And of course, of course they would be friends. Because what’s one insanely gorgeous guy without two more. But from what I’ve seen of this place, it’s a gold mine bursting with the beautiful people of the world.

And then, there’s you, Cailan…

And then, there’s me.

My eyes wander back to Brayan who’s gripping an intimidating weight of dumbbell in each of his hands. With each bicep curl, the powerful muscles across his shoulders and down his back strain against the thin, formfitting fabric of his black performance shirt. My eyes roam the length of his long, lean body as I watch the rock-hard muscles of his back and arms flex and extend against the weight of the dumbbells.

He exhales a breath and raises the heavy weights above his head, fully extending the length of his powerful, toned arms. Arms that could easily strike deadly blows in a fight. As he slowly lowers them, the top outline of the tattoo inked between his shoulder blades juts out from just beneath his collar. Part of me wants to inch closer to the archway. To get a better look at the staggering force that is Brayan. To keep going beyond the archway. To be close enough to know his scent. To walk right up to the powerful male and run my hands down those muscles. The other part of me wants to stay glued to my space on the wall. To carve an opening in the grey plastered sheetrock and crawl right in. To disappear forever.

I continue to hide quietly behind the archway, studying Brayan as he goes through his sets. Sweat beads glisten on his sun-kissed skin. The intricate tattoo on his left forearm moves in unison with the flexion and tension of the tendons beneath it. His messy, dark hair is tamed by a worn and faded, navy blue ASU cap with a gold Stag emblem, turned backwards. The longer strands of it with iridescent midnight blue streaks shining in the bright sunlight, are drenched from sweat and sticking to the back of his neck.

I wonder if he knows I’m here. If he is aware of my presence like I’m aware of his. I push the thought out of my mind. Like I told myself yesterday, I’m obviously going mental. He has perfect control over his body, unlike me.

I wish that I could just muster enough courage to go in there. I mean, who says girls can’t lift? I’m very athletic and am definitely not a stranger to a weight room. I can hold my own in there.

I try to force myself to go in there, to take one tiny step inside the weight room, but I just can’t make it happen. My feet won’t budge. The tension twisting and turning inside of my gut crashes with the spark slowly slipping up my spine. A rush of energy ripples through my veins as my heartbeat quickens again. If this feeling halted my ability to run earlier, there’s no telling what it would do to me if I actually enter the weight room. I’m sure I would make a complete fool of myself.

I decide to stay in my safe zone and observe for now.

Safe zone, Cailan. You really think there’s a safe zone with Brayan?

I force myself to look down at the patterned, multicolored carpet on the ground as I weigh that question.

Puffing out my breath, I summons the last sliver of bravery I can find within my pages, straighten my shoulders, raise my head, and peek out from around the bend of the arched entrance.

Midnight eyes reflect from a weight room mirror and lock on mine.

S**t.

I freeze, stunned. I don’t know what to do or where to go or what to say. Brayan remains standing there with a preternatural stillness, facing the mirror, gripping the heavy weights at each side. His face an impassive mask of granite. I can just make out the fleck of silver that circles his dark irises from this distance.

The sound of someone slamming their weights back on a rack pulls me out of my daze. Goosebumps race across my skin, embarrassment flushing my cheeks. I look pale, too pale, standing next to him in the mirror’s reflection. His dark, deadly stare fixes on me, pinning me to my spot.

My brain slowly mulls through my options has his lethal glare remains on me. Deciding that entering the weight room is definitely not the best choice. Through my fight or flight response, or through a sheer will I found tucked deep within one of my pages, I’m not sure, but I turn and run. I don’t know where my legs are taking me�"I just know I’m going.

Speeding around the corner, I see the door for the women’s locker room straight ahead on the right. I forcefully push my way through the door and rush into the room. The heavy door slams shut in my wake. The space is completely empty. I’m alone.

Thank God. You don’t need anyone else witnessing your new level of crazy.

I drop my pullover that I’ve had a death grip on since first spying Brayan and lace the fingers of both of my hands behind my neck and breathe in deeply, trying to settle my nerves. The muscles in my legs tremble and quake as I rapidly pace across the length of the locker room. My chest tightens, shoulders tensing. Anxiety threatens to take hold of every cell in my body.

Such a winning plan you have here, Cai. What are you going to do now? Pitch a tent in here and hide out until he’s long gone? Ha!

I ponder that thought. I could do that. I can stay in here as long as I have to. Until this feeling passes and I know he’s gone. How long could a person possibly stay at a gym?

Judging by the looks of those three beasts�"hours, Cai. Hours.

Releasing a breath, I pick up my pullover from its place on the white laminate floor of the locker room. I walk over to a long, wooden bench that runs in front of a row of navy blue lockers, plop down, and stretch my trembling legs out in front of me.

I check my surroundings one more time. Still, nobody in here but me. The showers are quiet, save a few drops of water leaking from the shower heads. Steam silently seeps through the crack around the door of the sauna, curling towards a vent. I sit, for a while, shrouded in the sound of silence as I try to wait Brayan out. The seconds become minutes. I’m having no quick luck. The tiny spark that had built at the base of my spine and spidered throughout my body during the height of my nervous tension is still there, smoldering just beneath the surface of my skin. Threatening to ignite again. Warning me that he’s still here.

I pull my phone from its holder fastened around my arm and check the time. It is now almost eleven o’clock. I wonder how long I’ve been in here.  A few minutes? An hour? Surely Cat’s awake by now. I’ve got to try to make it back to my dorm. 

I slowly stand up. My knees threatening to give out on me at any moment. It’s not that far from the locker room to the doors of the main entrance of the Rec. All I have to do is make it outside and I’ll be fine. My mind replays those last three words�"I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine.

I move timidly towards the locker room door, pausing before I pull it open.

My mind floods with worries. What if I see him outside somewhere? What if I run into him between here and the front doors? What if he’s waiting for me on the other side of this door? My inner-self jumps at the opportunity to chime in.

You got yourself into this. You get yourself out.

As I place my hand on the brass handle to pull the heavy door open, I read a neon pink flier that’s been taped on the door. A welcome relief washes over my mind as I read the flier.

      Intramural Volleyball Sign-ups

    When: Sunday, August 21

    Where: Rec Center- Room 203

    Time: 10:00 A.M - 10:00 P.M.

I snap a picture of the neon pink flier. Volleyball was one of my favorite sports in high school and I am pretty decent at it. If anything, I can definitely use the sport now as a way to release the tension and energy that’s been consuming my mind, body, and entire being recently.

Well, it’s now or never. It takes more of my weight than I thought to crack open the heavy metal door. I can’t see to my left because of the depth of the thick door frame, but looking to my right I can see that the coast is clear. I quickly step through the door and turn left.

No Brayan. Good.

He’s still here, though. The butterflies threatening to take flight in my stomach are a dead giveaway. I pray that I can make it to the main doors without seeing him. I’ll deal with whatever happens beyond them when that time comes. One small step at a time.

I don’t have that much further to go. Not wanting to take any chances of lingering too long in one spot, I stride briskly down the hallway and approach the final turn.

One more corner and I’m home free�"maybe.

I quicken my pace as I make the turn, almost at a jog, and run face-first into a rock-hard wall of abs. Stunned from the force of the collision, I take a step back from the towering male and feel around my nose. I’m pretty sure it’s bleeding�"or broken. My pulse skyrockets as the swirling mass of butterflies and nervous tension in my stomach takes flight and explodes throughout my body.

I knew it. I knew this would happen. When it comes to this guy, it’s obvious the forces of the universe are against me. Those cards have already been dealt and I’ve drawn the losing hand.

As I’m slowly backing away, my knee shudders and gives out, causing me to lose my balance and falling to my left. Large, steady hands reach out and grab my shoulders, dwarfing them. He holds me in my place as I attempt to regain any shred of my composure.

My voice is strained as I spit out the only word my mouth can form, “Ss-Sorry,” I say. The bare skin of my shoulders, exposed from my tank top, tingles slightly at his touch. Every sense in my body all too aware of the fact that his strong hands still grasp my shoulders steadily.

Brayan keeps one hand safely on my shoulder and uses his other to gently pull my hand away from my injured nose. His large, callused palm engulfs mine. His touch is tender, though. The movements, gentle.

He leans forward slightly. His beautiful midnight eyes are dark and difficult to read. I stand here frozen, afraid of what may happen should I move�"or even breathe. My pulse pounds at the base of my throat as desire and tension weave a deadly dance throughout my veins.

His touch is very warm. Every inch of my body is humming in response as an amiable warmth consumes me, cradling my bones, caressing my quaking muscles, and settling within the weary pages of my soul.

I can’t take my eyes off of him. I study every angle and dip and line of his perfectly chiseled face. His high cheek bones and angular jaw, shadowed with dark stubble, look like they’ve been carved from the most precious stone. His golden-tan skin, luminescent from the sheen of sweat lingering from his workout.

My eyes wander back to his as he studies my nose. His dark brows crease deeply from�"concern? He keeps a firm grasp on my free hand. The soothing warmth of his touch continuing to seep into the depths of my body. The lustrous rings of silver in his eyes flare quickly before fading away.

How does he do that?

His face is impassive and his voice stern, “You’re okay.” Not a question.

He releases the steady grip he has on my shoulder and drops my hand. It hangs in its place in midair for a moment before I bring it to my side. Before I can even try to think of what to do or say next, he’s gone. With one swift movement of his powerful legs, he steps around me and strides off quickly towards the locker rooms.

I’m left standing here, stunned, watching while he storms away and disappears through a door and inside a locker room. I realize that the longer I stand here analyzing him and trying to figure out what the hell just happened, then the chance of us having another one of these lovely encounters increases.

Still utterly flustered and writhing with tension, I will my body to put one pigeon-toed foot in front of the other and move. Somehow, I manage to make it outside of the main doors. The cool mountain breeze greets my flushed skin and pounding heart.

I inhale a deep breath and release it slowly. Now that I’m no longer inside the building with Brayan, my nerves have calmed some. The pine-fresh air helping to regain my senses. When I feel that I’m able to actually make it across the large, grassy fields and back to my dorm, I bolt.

I’ve always been a sprinter. My long legs find their stride quickly and easily, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world for me. I race across the fields and through the courtyard, not paying attention to anyone or anything as I run.

I fly down the red paver path leading to the main entrance of Wheeler Hall. My steps falling nearly silent despite being at a full sprint. I clench my pullover and grip my phone tightly, so that I don’t drop anything, as I cover the final few steps. I can feel the layers of my auburn hair breaking free from its tie. I pull on the glass doors of the entrance to Wheeler with such force that they each swing wide open as I rush inside. I don’t care if I’m causing a spectacle out of myself. I don’t care what anyone thinks. I just need to get back to my room�"now.