Mr. Gravestone And The Spirit Of Vengeance - An Epic Tale Chapter 2
A Story by TacoPanda
Ronald McDonald opened the window and happily said "Welcome to McDonald's, would you like catsup?" I in turn replied "No Ron, but what I would like is for you to look into my eyes." As he did so I pointed the ammonia gun at his face and sprayed him right in the peepers with a war cry. As he fell back writhing in what I'm guessing to be agony, I leaped my slender a*s right through the window and landed on his chest. As I helped him to his big red shoed feet, I gave him an encouraging pummel to the face. I screamed in his face "YOUR REIGN OF TYRANNY AND DEPRAVITY IS AT AN END, PREPARE FOR MANGLING TO BE DONE UPON YE!" While gripping him by his fucked up clown suit's lapel. I then sincerely placed my arm around him real chummy like as I ignored his screams of "MY EYES, I CAN'T SEE, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS, PLEASE DON'T HURT ME ANYMORE, I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT PLEASE!" or something to that effect, and led my good buddy over to the fry grease and gripped him up him by his red afro and repeatedly dunked his head in, burning the paint off his face. To the rest of the McEmployee's great pleasure, we watched his eye lids slowly melt off his face. One lively chap named "hi my name is Pete" chucked a Big Mac at the Ronald's head and proudly stated "I quit!" to that I said "Good Show my good man, but, why don't you hang around ... all of you, it only gets better!" they all cheered and began pelting him with burgers and fries and nuggets, oh my. I could sense that a yoke had been lifted from these flippers of burgers necks. I then said to the whole crowd of revolters "I will have to ask you all to do me a favor ... cook up the rest of the food left up in here, we're going to give this F**K (this is where my fist goes across Ron's chin to add dramatic effect) a taste of his own medicine," (as I mush a burger into his face). Five hours and many physical and verbal (and in "hi my name is Harry's case, sexual) assaults upon him, the grub was ready. I had my newly acquiesced minions set up a burger shrine as I methodically tore every tooth out of the clowns head one by one.
"HEY, Anybody got a funnel?" was the question that sprung from my lips. "yeah, here" said "hi my name is Lisa"
"Just in case ... we don't want him choking before the end." said I. "The feeding had begun"; I started shoving food down his throat, continuous burgers and fillet-o-fish sandwiches. I kept this up for about twenty-seven minutes, and then I had a great idea. The ex-donaldettes were instructed to administer the punishment while I checked around for something. I walked straight and true to the back and opened a door that suspiciously had written upon it "employees only"," as I suspected" were the words that came forth from my vocal cords. It was like a zoo back there, all Ronald McDonald's "friends" were caged up, as I surveyed this demeaning sight, a voice cried hopefully "are you here to save us?"I replied "Yes little Fry Guy, call me your savior, Gebus even, I have come to liberate you from your torments."
"Us too?" I heard from another cell containing the grimace." "Yes, my purple friend, you too. Just wait; I'll sneak the little ones out first." When I opened their cage, their faces lit up as they chattered away about finally going home. The green one looked up and lovingly said "you're my hero, sir ... whoever you are." I stealthily herded them toward the site my minions had aptly named the dungeon, and shoved the little fuckers toward two of the Ronnie feeders and said "cut these up and give ol' Ron sumphin' good to eat." The look of horror that washed across the fry guys' faces at this betrayal still offer great masturbation material to this day. They started yelling and crying and even cursing at me and I just turned around put a real serious look on my face that shut them all up and calmly said "Suck a duck, B*****s" "Oh and guys, don't dare knock them out before chopping away, start at the bottom and work your way up and slice real thin ... easier to feed the Ron that way,". I then commanded everyone to take part and step up the feeding "three burgers at once, don't give him a chance to puke!" I then chopped off his McPenis and shoved it in his mouth and then his big a*s shoes, feet still in them and shoved them down his throat. I then took a massive bowel movement in Ronald's 'fro, and lit it a kindle. I stopped the feeding for a bit because I needed to stretch. So I began punching him all over. If this was Mortal Kombat I would have had a ten-million hit combo. I then stabbed him right where little Ronnie used to be and began twisting the knife around. I then proceeded to pour salt all over him, rubbing it in all his wounds (and plenty of wounds there were) especially his eyes. I tired of the songs he was singing, some would call them screams of torment and said "shut this f****r up with more food, here try feeding him this green thing ... take the pin out first". I guess that was the elephant that broke the midgets back because his stomach burst open and sent meaty burgers and Ronald pieces flying everywhere. At this I said "well I guess my work's done here, konichiwa, B*****s!" I then just up and walked out. As I began to drive away I saw that my teammates were performing a bukkake on what was left of Ronald's corpse. I applied pressure to the brakes and came to a halt and lowered a rocket launcher at this fine mess and blew 'em all to smithereens. As I drove away I disgustedly muttered to myself "Damn, all those guys were corny as f**k."
© 2012 TacoPanda