"When Skies Are Grey(The Sunshine Song)"

A song I wrote for Lisa. I hope it explains a little of our story to you.

The other night dear, while I lay sleeping

I dreamt I held you in my arms.

When I awoke love, I was mistaken.

So I hung my head, and I cried.

 

Where did today go?

 

I've been trying to find a way love,

To say "I'm sorry" without the words.

It's just a song dear, but I'm hoping

It'll heal at least a little of the hurt.

 

Where'd that sunshine go?

 

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are grey.

You'll never know dear, how much I love you.

Please don't take my sunshine away.

 

I've been thinking something lately,

That if I've got you everday...

What's my excuse then, what's my problem?

Why are any days grey in the first place?

 

 

Author's Note

Sung to the classic tune (mostly).

Reviews

[Dawn Jones]

Ya know I downloaded that song and added it to my itunes last night. Interesting interpretation of the song and it's meaning. I like how you combine it with your own feelings, but I, personally, think that you can go far deeper into your own emotion. I think that the things you say, especially in the last few lines are lacking some spark that I'm pretty sure you could give it if you dug deep enough. You've got a lot of talent. I like reading your work... but I think everyone, a lot of writers, are afraid to hit that dark nerve that really digs into wounds. I suspect there is a wound here somewhere. Embrace it. Dig into it. And this poem will be amazing.

Be careful using so many lines of an already popular song in your work.

Thank you for sharing.

[EverEmma]

Very very sweet. I love it, interpreting the song into it was brilliant.

[Liza]

very romantic...so sorry we all have to go thru heartache...

[Liza]

i do love this song :D

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Such a an age old question and the saddest song of old............A lovely write my new friend

it's odd how we can have everything we've ever wanted, but something goes wrong. maybe we feel compelled to ruin what's good.
it's as if we feel that we don't deserve what we have. so we get rid of it, or just create tension without meaning to.

the last stanza is my favorite.

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

actually, i quite like the idea of this.. tho instead of the usual popular song version.. i keep hearing this in a very forlorn, twangy, appalachian voiced porch song.. minimal instrumentation, just the voice and some plucked strings.. but the itchy sort of twang is a must *grin* draw it out so it is mostly unrecognizable with less emphasis on the trad melody, sweeping it gently into the soft refrain we all know so well.. like you'd hear from tom brousseau. you know? i could hear him singing something like this..

well done, truly..

[Aleah]

This is good. I know most of what you are saying because I know who you are talking about.

[Clarisse Nanoit]

I read Dawn's comment, and I totally know what she means... but I'm sure the sunshine song is public domain (SURELY) by now. I like the sweet nature of this, but we don't know what you're saying sorry for, as readers. That would be a super juicy insight, however, I don't think a song in the tune of "My Only Sunshine" is the appropriate venue for expressing such. Maybe that's just me. I liked it regardless.
KH

[KatiePie]

I think I might understand this differently since you once told me about you and Lisa >w<
But heck, here's my perspective anyways :P
It's a simple but very well done and sweet peace, it does exactly what you wanted it to and the metaphors are beautiful. Oh yeah, and I love the ending :D
Great Work ^-^
-Cathrine