Flight

She touched the clouds
and wanted to fly
to taste real freedom
at the tip of the sky

Grasping for air
in the city of blue
this bird had no wings
if only she knew

The wind tried to catch her
she realized her mistake
a broken surrender
her own life did she take

Author's Note

I'm not really sure about this one, its longer than usual
would really appreciate any feedback:)

Reviews

[Bushra Naqshbandi]

An outstanding poem Tee.
''Flight'' - The title is perfectly chosen as the poem depicts her flight first upwards to reach the sky and then the free fall to the ground. Blame gravity for the whole affair. ;)
Coming to the poem, I love the imagery in its entirety. Your descriptions make the piece remarkably strong and realistic. I experienced the poem as I read it almost as if I was watching a movie and I commend you for the use of such brilliant expressions. :)

She touched the clouds
and wanted to fly
to taste real freedom
at the tip of the sky
I've always wanted to be a bird just to experience the freedom of being able to fly anywhere (without having to pay airfare ;D ). You've expressed this notion very well. Besides, the clouds can even be seen as heights of success she touched but wanted to go higher than or perhaps some dream she accomplished that was only a part of a larger dream of hers. The possibility of open interpretation adds greater beauty to the poem. :)

Grasping for air
in the city of blue
this bird had no wings
if only she knew
I love the imagery in these lines. Absolutely. I connect to this feeling of late realization completely and I admire the way you've put such a complicated emotion into words where you show how she's failing and why and even pity her for the same. Hats off! :)
a broken surrender
her own life did she take
''Broken surrender'' - It's a super powerful expression and I'm so in love with your choice of words. :) The ending is sad but not pessimistic. She might have ended her life but not without teach us the lesson of recognising our strength and capability and trying to achieve things accordingly. A fabulous write! Keep up the good work! :)

[Mara]

Wow thank you so much for the amazing review, I'm so happy like you liked it :D!!

[Chris]

There are many views to what we write. Literal, symbolic, combinations... masked meanings - many views and each reader uses their own insight to get a feel of sense.

I view it as believing the you can do anything you want... and finding out the hard way that it isn't that easy after all. But that's just me.

[Mara]

yeah so true, i really like the way you view it :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad ending to a positive beginning. I like the want for freedom and the journey. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Mara]

Thank you :)!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[alifeacoustic]

Great write. I see it as hope and ambition, over being too ambitious and reaching too far. Almost like reahing for the stars can make or break you, succeed and all is well, fail and be the maker of your own downfall.
Great write. I like the succinctness of it, with no word just taking up space.

[Mara]

Thank you for your great review, so glad you liked it:)

[silverwritinggoddess]

This is very interesting. It sounds like a flying dream turned into a nightmare. We often dream of flying without consequences but the dream shows the consequences of flying without wings. Great job!

[Mara]

Thank you for checking it out :)!!

[Emily]

Lovely wording!!
Keep on writing!

[Mara]

Thank you!:)

[A hare off]

Great peom here. Some very deep thoughts laced with ribbons of sadness.

[Mara]

Thank you, glad you liked it:)

[AaronFreitas]

I really like it Tee. That first stanza is as good as it gets. The imagery in it and just the understanding of wanting real freedom was put beautifully! Awesome write :)

[Mara]

Thank you!, really appreciate your review :)

[dan]

I believe all humans dream that they can fly at some point in their sleep. Having said that, I believe you take that theme one step further when the one flying realizes she has no wings; the wind catches her and hurls her into a downward spinning fall.
It's been said that if you dream you are falling and you splat down at the bottom that you can actually die. Was this a falling dream? Did she know this, then used that method to cause her own death?
This piece leaves the reader with questions that cannot be answered, and that's not a bad thing. If one can lead their readers to think, the poem has done its job. Very nicely done. take care...dan

[Mara]

Thank you for the great review and taking the time to read it:)

[dan]

Keep sending me RRs, Tee, and I will always review, PROMISE! take care...dan

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Feels to me, like it's about someone who killed herself.
Nice write.

[Mara]

Thanks for checking it out:)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

you're welcome :D

[B]

Does she die
I am scared

i love the idea of a woman that is lifted
by everything
she is in flight

[Mara]

Thank you for checking it out, poems mean different things to each reader, so you decide:)

[B]

i think she is re birthed
and you are witnessing that

[B]

You are so talented
you bring every single part to life

[Mara]

i like that :) and thank you so much that really means a lot to me :)x