Dying Embers

I altercate every day
the bitter, unrelenting battle continues to rage
like a raw and pungent fire as I stride
an enormous inferno of flaming frustration
do not give me condolence, or excuses…
How would that be just or fair?
After all, you found me inexcusable

My diligence, affliction, agony, heart ache, tears, pain, torment, and torture
I did it for you…
that suffering for this?
Yet another wage of war?
To prove my right to exist …to live
to be LEGITIMATE
so tell me, perhaps you now find me a farce? An antic?
Has this atrocious monster finally won?
Am I disgustingly devoid of value and worth?
Eternally and fatally flawed, a pathetic loser and hopeless case?
NO

I am a FIGHTER
more tragic boo hoo's of yet another wasteful, lost effort
how will I crawl up from this floor?
Collect my wisdom, logic, and reason together as a clan of clarity
perhaps thus I may surrender to a shining certainty, of which I haven't a clue
do you request more strength, because I feel my bones wrung dry!
You ask me to be even stronger!
Where am I expected to find courage, durability, firmness, force, and fortitude?
For God, He spites me, and nature has been far too cruel
All of the Forces whisper a shameful and guilty truth
I SHOULD NOT EXIST

Then why, perchance, am I still living?
Is it simply some freakish fluke?
Where do I derive purpose
from unsubstantiated truths?
Where in to summon, beckon to will, determination, and purposeful power
my heart yearns for comfort in these dark hours
I need a reason to desire, to continue waging war and fighting
And here in I locate the answer
I am Soulful
I will not be burned down

My forest endures disasters
with indestructible trees of triumph
of whose roots shall ground me
as I pummel into a hurricane breeze.

 

Reviews

[Brittany]

You are a very passionate writer.

I feel that your line "perhaps thus I may surrender to a shining certainty, of which I haven't a clue" is a perfect quandry. One that maybe too many of us find ourselves thinking...

You've got soul...And that is neat.

[deeps]

Excuse my french but you are one Hell of a writer!!!!!
I mean that. I love this and the last one i read.
You write so realitic. I like the emotion you
put into you work, Aweomse write.