Paranoid

 

The late afternoon sun betrays me when it sets earlier than yesterday and I scowl at it, displaying displeasure, and pray that I will be okay as the shadows close in and envelope me in the room in which I sit; I hum the song stuck in my mind because I can’t recall the words to it. I rock back, and I rock forth for the twelve-thousandth time, and I know precisely the exact moment that I will hear the annoying melodic chime of the mantel clock that sits mocking me over the cracked old brick hearth fireplace; I laugh to myself when it dawns on me – its human qualities – two hands and a face, so now I hate it even more than I did just a moment before…I glance about the room and seek an appropriate place for its untimely doom, but it is spared by my short attention span and I put it back with a trembling hand when a knock at the door startles me so I cautiously creep to it, wanting to see who dares disturb me in my home even though I’m not busy and I am alone, it’s how I prefer things to be, you see…nobody in control of my life… except me.

 

I gaze through the peephole I carved in the door and have obligingly relied upon a thousand times before to warn me of the potential danger of the occasional salesman or wayward stranger…my well trained eye looks that way and this, and then this way and that to be sure it has not missed a single thing that could cause me ill surprise or at the very worst lead me straight to my demise. I breathe out a welcome sigh of relief, as no one’s there and the panic is only brief. I check the locks on the doors, a ritual, just in case. A burden it is, but I know if I don’t, havoc will wreak down upon this place.

 

 Each night I check the seven locks seven times before going to bed, and even then I agonize that I missed one and checked only six instead; sleep comes to me eventually, plaguing me with the strangest dreams and even though I keep a light on, I eagerly welcome the light of dawn to let me know everything is okay and I can see clearly to start my day. One by one I raise the window shades and with each moment that passes by, my nightmares slowly fade away.

 

Today, I pray, will be the day that I am finally not afraid…

Reviews

[jen -- JG]

This is a strong write Tania, and well put together. Even though you say it is from a man's point of view, it didn't strike me that way too strongly. Parania is something that happens to both sexes and both sexes would feel the same way as your character does. Even so it is extremely well done and vividly dramatic. I sort of feel as though I was spying on the person -- or watching myself in the mirror.

Well done

[Princess_ck84]

WoW!! You are very crafty with your word choice and I absolutely love the flow!! My only suggestion to you is to perhaps play with how this can look on the page... there are so many things you can do that would only make this poem even stronger and more interesting with some line breaks and different stanzas!!

Thank you so much for sharing, this is one of the better peices I've seen on this site!! Hope to see more from you of this calliper :)

[Shadows of Sight]

It's for precisely this reason that i find the smallest most backwater midwest town, where everyone knows everyone and then i don't have to worry about forgetting the locks! My neighbors eye will watch when i can not.
I can understand the Paranoia and fear. I hear that this is what it's like, especially on the East coast in the poorer sections of the big cities
It's a shame that society makes it so we have to fear for our very existance every night.
Good write! :)

[Snow White Queen]

I liked this. It was interesting. ♥

[Amor-de-angel]

An interesting piece. I will be interested to see if you do more to it. Well written.

[The Tao of Bri]

Such a brave and open piece.. you are workign through that fear already! Great write! ~B

[bluessadmood]

we all have our fears ,this or that ,you put it wonderful,great writing

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Interesting, yet awesome piece of work. I easily drawn in to reading word for word. Very nicely written.


Great Write
Rayne

[Beautiful Disaster_33]

I was drawn in from the first word to the very last
Clearly seeing this all happen as it unfolded in front of my eyes
Great write indeed my friend, I really enjoyed this`n look forward to reading more of your work
You go girl!

[A.J. Smith]

Oh, my God, this is awesome! Tania, you continue to mesmerize me with your wit and your capacity to write such a wonderfully imaginative piece while subtly embedding brilliant rhythm and rhyme. Dang, you're good at doing that. I wonder how many readers see your hidden treasures? They're missing a lot if they don't. This really makes me feel the fear, the dread of being afraid. Your selection of font was also a stroke of genius. I appreciate your attention to visual presentation. You are an awesome, amazing wordsmith. I so enjoy reading your work.