It's Time

I miss you,

Why did you leave me?

I need you,

Why couldn’t you be here for me?

I know it’s not you,

It’s not your fault you were taken away.

But why did it have to be you?

I wish it was me.

Trade me spots,

I beg you.

Take over my life for me,

I don’t want it anymore.

I wish I was with you,

I’d be much happier.

With you and Hailey,

I’d love life.

Come take me with you,

Maybe it’s time.

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

Whenever you write something during a very low point, edit it later when you feel better and infuse what you wrote with how you feel. It sounds retarded but it really does lead to good ideas. Juxtaposition isn't just a fancy word. It also helps to not use specific names, abstract everything; there is more freedom in writing there. I did enjoy this overall.

[Natasha]

I like your idea, but I don't know how to go about incorporating how I feel

[Davidgeo]

Try as hard as you can as often as you can. Eventually you'll find a sweet spot. Learn by doing, and by failure (corrected).

[Natasha]

I'll try it out, thank you

[Davidgeo]

Also, smoke weed everyday.

[Natasha]

I'm good Lmao

[NEHA]

A nice piece of art!
I felt the beats!!!

[Natasha]

Thank you!

[Unspoken poet]

sad write so emotional. Heartfelt piece

[Natasha]

Thank you.

[barleygirl]

Normally I'm not a fan of whiny heartbreak poems, as there are so many posted on this website & they all sound the same to me. But yours kept my interest becuz you didn't sound the same refrain over & over. Instead you brought up completely different ideas, like swapping lives, & this broke up what can be constant whining about bad times. Normally I like to see at least one little glimmer of hope in a depressing write, but becuz your infusive variety kept my interest, I didn't view this as one of those whiny poems at all. I think it's becuz there's also a buoyancy in your tone, as if you're not sounding utterly depressed, but rather like you're just wishing you were somewhere else . . . and that is a very relatable idea you've conveyed creatively! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Natasha]

Thank you, I appreciate that. It's about my sister.

[barleygirl]

Knowing this is about your sister, now it has a different effect . . . *smile*

[Natasha]

Wrote this at a desperate time and I was in a bad place.