Goodbye

Goodbye

A Story by AlternativePunker
"

A sad story about death. With the hidden meaning of "Ring around the Rosies" song

"
The fall air chills me. I stare down at the multicolored leaves that blanket the earthy ground. The forest is my favorite place to be. A place where no one judges you. The trees are silent, and they listen. I tell them everything, and they don't judge. But one listens the best. She listens to all my problems, I spill my inner secrets to her. She understands. Now is the time. She approaches in her flowing black dress. Her rosy cheeks stand out on her porcelain skin. She pins a posy to my breast pocket. I slid into her embrace. I breathe her sweet scent in. She runs her hands through my hair, whispering words of comfort. We lie down on a bed of black roses as ashes fall from the stars. I fall asleep drowning in her hands. All trouble is gone as I am resting, resting in her arms forever.

© 2017 AlternativePunker



Author's Note

AlternativePunker
What do you think? Please let me know how I can improve!

My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Featured Review

This is brilliant. I love the way you start out describing love of nature, then it morphs into a special tree that listens the best, then it continues to morph into the "Ring Around the Rosy" nursery rhyme (good thing you identified that in the title byline or I wouldn't have made the connection). This continual morphing feels natural & ties back to the beginning, thinking of "autumn" as the end of life. Your imagery is well-painted & woven into multiple meanings & metaphors. This reminds me of how the idea of death feels comforting to an old person like myself, becuz it will take me as I am, & gives me an excuse to not get too tangled up in worldwide strife. (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AlternativePunker

4 Months Ago

Thank you so much!
This means alot to me!



Reviews

Very beautiful imagery and clever play on metaphor. LOVE this!

Posted 4 Months Ago


AlternativePunker

4 Months Ago

Thank you!!
This is brilliant. I love the way you start out describing love of nature, then it morphs into a special tree that listens the best, then it continues to morph into the "Ring Around the Rosy" nursery rhyme (good thing you identified that in the title byline or I wouldn't have made the connection). This continual morphing feels natural & ties back to the beginning, thinking of "autumn" as the end of life. Your imagery is well-painted & woven into multiple meanings & metaphors. This reminds me of how the idea of death feels comforting to an old person like myself, becuz it will take me as I am, & gives me an excuse to not get too tangled up in worldwide strife. (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AlternativePunker

4 Months Ago

Thank you so much!
This means alot to me!
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Zoe
Serene, peaceful; beautiful words spilt on the page. Good job!

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AlternativePunker

4 Months Ago

Thank you!
Zoe

4 Months Ago

No worries
Thisnwas dark and pretty intense. Yet, i find solace as well.. A nice balance. And truly beautiful

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AlternativePunker

4 Months Ago

Thank you so much!
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Ne
I'm so glad I decided to check this out it reminds me a time when I felt the same way, sometimes I still do, but I know that all will be alright in the end. I would give this greater than a 100/100 but it won't let me.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
This comment has been deleted by this stories author.
This comment has been deleted by the poster.

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

342 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on December 5, 2017
Last Updated on December 5, 2017

Author

AlternativePunker
AlternativePunker

La, mesa, CA



About
I'm back peopls more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..