Path

A binary split of strait appeased me drownin',

An apocalypse struck me unconscious.

Senses  pricked horribly,

And then the reckoning and beckoning.

the waves doomed the murky sea before me.

 

Then the angel and the devil, gestured by my shoulders.

The short left trail, gorgeous and sparkling,  

The long right trail, filthy and ghastly.

My maneuver dwindled, flanked by faith and fraud.

 

"Oh, evil soul!" maniacally I went.

"Oh, take the path of deceit,

And you'll struggle no beast." went the devil.

The breeze toughened and havocked the sea.

"Oh! son of Adam!"  bellowed  my conscience.

"Take the path of legitimacy,

do justice to affinity." assured the angel.

 

I chose the path less traveled-by,

For real success comes with uphill struggle,

And fake success knocks with awkward ease.

 

 

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

Tazeen,
To begin, I love your two picture choices, they express and emphasize perfectly the turmoil, the struggle, the raging emotion, and enormous effort it takes to not only survive intact, but to prosper on into a happily ending result.
What really stuns me, though, about your poetry, is how wonderfully developed and advanced the mind, heart, and sense of emotional power is within the core of the artist whom composed it.
It is said,"Don't give gold to fools; for, they will have no way to know its value. Make them earn it; only then will they truly understand." Life is like this, too … anything of genuine value has to be earned, learned, and accomplished through worthy challenge before it is fully appreciated and valued. This struggle, accepted and successfully accomplished, is that which builds our character, inner strength, confidence, knowledge, understanding, wisdom, and Yes, our ability to be happy by overcoming the obstacles that keep from being so.
Ha-hah! Just look at the length of this review, when your poem said it all in a few well-constructed, wise, and knowing verses

I am definitely Tazeen's dedicated fan!
Thank you profusely, Dear Lady-Poet! ⁓ Richard : )


Psst!
I can help you with the syntax, if you'd like. 😌

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Wow! Thank you so much for praising it and also, encouraging me. This has been my most successful poem and appeared in the newspaper, “The Times of India”. I would say you’ve summed it all up and furnished an honest review. I am grateful to you, really!

[Cryingkate]

I apologize for I am about to write you a quick Quick review. I have to do it and run. I cannot give it too much thought. You see? I need to say it's Beautiful and leave quickly and go read it again and see what else you have written.... I am so pleasantly shocked reading for the first time your writes. Thank You for reviewing mine so that I was able to find you. Please do expect a friend request coming :-)

[Andre Waters II]

I got chills reading this, the flow is unreal, and the dialogue is absolutely amazing. This is perfectly done.

[Tazeen Ahmed]

thank you so much!

[Sami Khalil]

Very profound and very true. Your words are so meaningful and empowering...:)...................

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it.:::)))

[Sami Khalil]

Yep. You are welcome. ....::::))))

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Wow, such words of truth that simply transcend Religious connotations ... Man believes that he seeks happiness and such happiness is defined as trouble free and having not a care in the world ... But, in truth happiness is a concept that can only be tasted moment by moment in facing adversity and having the withal stick to it-ness to overcome what ever comes our way ... It is these victories over adversity that bring us true happiness worth savoring ... Life without adversity, from time to time, to be overcome is not worth the living, and would render man's existence as meaningless and purposeless, left with not a thing to complain about or blame the "Creator of all that is and will ever be--An Ultimate Source Point Of Origin Of All Existence" (quoting myself here from one of my Philosophical articles) for in his natural lack of appreciation for the blessing of life upon this Earth ... Excellently Magnificent writing ...!!!

Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much sir! I really respect your advice here; I'm happy that you've concluded the message even better than what I could have.
It's a pleasure seeing a believer. Religion is what I'm thriving on and I see it as a way of living.
Thank you so much for taking your precious time and giving me such worthy knowledge.

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn's Dark Poetry & More]

It is I, who has learned from you, young lady ...

[writ rajat]

bahut sundar tarike se likhA gaya hAi yeh kavita

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you.

[James]

Very good. Perfect picture to go along with this poem. I love the "reckoning and beckoning"

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much for the kind review!

[Mr.Writer]

Wow... this was beautiful!
These were my favourite lines! They made the hairs of my back stand up :D So vibrating and powerful!
"An apocalypse struck me unconscious.
Senses pricked horribly,
And then the reckoning and beckoning."
Keep it up! :)

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much:)
I'm glad you liked it ^_^

[Mr.Writer]

No problem :)

[EcstaticEuphoria]

So riveting! My favorite line and wisdom was "For real success comes with uphill struggle"

[Tazeen Ahmed]

thank you so much! ^_^