THE PUPPET AND THE PARROT

THE PUPPET AND THE PARROT

A Poem by Tazeen Ahmed

 

 

While the melancholy gossip outlasted

The caged parrot and the controlled puppet

Vigorously fled fostered memories

A lament, a pity of the past

Moments of silence followed

A crack of laughter

As the parrot nibbled the strings

And the puppet broke the lock

Past their freedom

Deep bond grew apace

As they vanished into the aura of dreams

Image result for parrot flying


© 2017 Tazeen Ahmed



Author's Note

Tazeen Ahmed
I would welcome suggestions.

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Reviews

A powerful message underlies this excellently written piece ...

Posted 4 Months Ago


Tazeen Ahmed

4 Months Ago

Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. :)
i really like this piece, the flood of images, the seemingly nonchalant way in which the narrative carries on, just love it!
" A weird crack of laughter"
might work better as "A crack of laughter", letting the reader think it's weird, but that's just a style choice really, this is fantastic!

Posted 6 Months Ago


Tazeen Ahmed

6 Months Ago

Thank you very much. It means a lot. I would consider your advice!
One needs a voice to break free. The line about nibbling the strings was very cool and profound.
i really enjoyed this, it was liberating!

Posted 6 Months Ago


Tazeen Ahmed

6 Months Ago

Thank you so much! It really made my day:)
Wicked, it is really good, freedom to the dream aura😎😍..
Loved it

Posted 6 Months Ago


Tazeen Ahmed

6 Months Ago

thank you!
Well, That's humble, I heard struggling for freedom and somehow those two helped and achieved it...I liked it..:)

Posted 6 Months Ago


Tazeen Ahmed

6 Months Ago

thank you!
Wow. The story this piece tells is beautiful and true: two souls helping each other achieve freedom while growing a stronger bond with one another. The plot seems thought-out and original, and the imagery, though quite simple, fits well with the poem's brevity. I also enjoyed the pleasant visual presentation (the green letters and the image of the bird).

As for suggestions:
- I believe Silente's critique is valid.
- It would improve the visual presentation, to me, if you put the image above the poem ~ not below it.

- William Liston

Posted 6 Months Ago


Tazeen Ahmed

6 Months Ago

Wow! You've perfectly understood. You've mustered the art of reviewing. Thank you so much. I will su.. read more
Loved the premise, and with weird cracks this poem did break me from fostered memories... The bird and puppet can be taken metaphorically, or literally, as can the whole thing, really... So well done... As for a suggestion... The opening line "Whilst the gossip outlasted"... Without a setup as to what it is outlasting, might be a bit smoother to perhaps give it a set frame of mind... Like, "The gossip outlasted the... Etc etc..." Or "While gossip outlasts... Etc etc." Just a thought... Enjoyed it very much, regardless... Nicely penned...

Posted 6 Months Ago


Tazeen Ahmed

6 Months Ago

Thank you so much! It mean a lot:)
Tazeen Ahmed

6 Months Ago

In case you're unaware of the indian green parrot. Masters make them memorize words and in a way, co.. read more
Silente

6 Months Ago

Oh, wow... I was not familiar or aware of that particular tidbit of info... Thanks so much for shari.. read more
Very thoughtful. When looked deeper into a broader meaning it shows the importance of freedom. I liked it.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Tazeen Ahmed

6 Months Ago

wow! i'm glad you liked it!
Najam Us Saher

6 Months Ago

Yes I did....☺
nice to hear birds friendly poem

Posted 6 Months Ago


Tazeen Ahmed

6 Months Ago

thank you. well, it's about a parrot and puppet who try to free each other.
you are appreciat.. read more

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209 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on April 1, 2017
Last Updated on April 13, 2017

Author

Tazeen Ahmed
Tazeen Ahmed

India



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