Man coming home from work- Romance (Oh la la!)

Made a simple subject into a different genre. Quite sweet.

Gregory sighed as he walked out onto the front steps of where he worked. He hated it when it snowed. An icy chill came up from his toes as he stepped forward. Searching for his car, he pulled out his keys. Clicking the lock button he made his car make a high pitched “beep” from afar. He straightened his glasses and walked toward the silver Prius.

Then Gregory stopped. He took off his glasses, cleaned them, put them back on, and stared again. There was a women sitting on top of his car. 

He shouted out “Uh that’s not your car.”

She smiled. “I know. I would never own a Prius.”

His eyebrows furled. Who was this woman? Why was she sitting on his car? Why did she not like his Prius? He came closer, “Can you get off?”

She did as she was told and slid off the car, but she didn’t leave. She leaned against the silver Prius and waited for him.

“Do you need a ride home?” He asked, regretting his question.

“I would love one.” She replied.

Gregory sighed and unlocked the car, “Get in.” He mumbled.

He sat down and shut the door behind him. As he put his keys in the ignition he asked, “What’s your name?”

Not looking at him she grinned and said, “Julie. Cold out today isn’t it? I’ve always loved the snow though. Ever since I was a little girl I’ve thought it was magical.”

“Mmhmm. Now uh, where do you live?” Gregory asked, squinting out of his frost-bitten windows.

“Oh, by the church, you know the one with the odd painting of Jesus?”

“You live over there? Kinda spooky isn’t it? Haven’t people said it’s haunted?”

“Yes, but the place I live is pretty nice so it takes my mind off of it.”

When they reached a stop-light Gregory finally took the time to see who he was talking to.  Julie looked younger than him, early to mid-30’s. Her wavy brown hair was perfectly placed on her shoulders and her skin was pale. She was quite pretty.

“If only she wasn’t so odd, maybe then would I-“

He was interrupted by Julie, “Green!” She cried.

“Oh, thanks!” He sputtered, stepping his right foot down onto the gas.

The two of them both sat in silence for awhile, with Julie watching the snow fall and Gregory wondering what kind of person doesn’t like a Prius, until Julie broke the silence.

“Thank you for giving me a ride. I’m glad you didn’t leave me there.”

“Why did you have to sit on my car though?” Gregory asked, checking off another from his list of questions.

“You would’ve ignored me.” Julie answered.

“No I wouldn’t.” He retorted.

“Yes, you would.” She said back.

“No, I wouldn’t. I would’ve been a fool to ignore a girl like you.” He said, finishing the dispute. He sunk in his chair when the words came out of his mouth. He was supposed to be creeped out by this woman. The crazy lady that sat on his car and loves the snow. But somehow Julie became the most interesting person Gregory had ever met.

Julie looked out of the window and smiled, “I picked the right car to sit on.”

“Why did you sit on my car?” Gregory asked, sitting back up in his chair and fixing his glasses.

“I’ve always hated Priuses. I’m more old-fashioned.”

“So you wanted to sit on my Prius to show your hate for them?”

“Yup.” Julie said, giggling.

Gregory smiled.  “So I turn here?”

“Yup.” This time Julie sighed.

“Hey so I was uh thinking Julie, that maybe you and I could-“

“Stop here.” She said abruptly.

She opened her door and walked outside. Gregory fixed his glasses. The houses were still three blocks down.

Julie was walking towards the cemetery.

Gregory got out of the car, “Uh, Julie? We talking a pitstop? Isn’t your house farther down?”

“Thank you for taking me home Gregory.” She replied.

He ran up to her. “Home? What do you mean home? Julie, can we get back in the car?” He was getting worried.

Julie stopped and faced him, “This is my home Gregory.” She opened the gates of the cemetery and walked on.

Gregory stared at her skin, no longer was her skin color a light pale. It was as white as the snow. Not able to move, Gregory stopped at the entrance. He was awestruck.

Julie slowly came to a halt when she came to a gravestone in the far corner. She looked back at blew an air kiss at Gregory.

Gregory finally brought up the courage to run to her. He cried out, “JULIE! I-“

He stopped short as Julie faded away into the tombstone. He felt wind swirling around him and the sky became clear.

Gregory walked slowly to the gravestone. He bent down to his knees as he read the words engraved on the stone.

                         In memory of:

                  Julie Tucker

                                    1948-1971

                    The most interesting

                          Woman in the

                                World

Author's Note

Constructive criticism is valued!

Reviews

[Name]

Hi there Team Sassafras! I'm new here, and this is the second story that I stumbled upon.
If you don't mind, I'd love to give you a review.

As soon as I started reading, I was impressed. You seem to be pretty sturdy in terms of phrasing, grammar and all that awesome stuff that I look for in writers. And third person! :D
Now, I'll get into suggesting and smoothing out some stuff, if you don't mind. But don't worry, this is all just my personal opinion, and it's still * your * story. You don't need to do anything with my comments. :)

Y'know this paragraph?
--------------------------------

Then Gregory stopped. He took off his glasses, cleaned them, put them back on, and stared again. There was a women sitting on top of his car.
He shouted out “Uh that’s not your car.”
She smiled. “I know. I would never own a Prius.”
-------------------------------
I like this paragraph.
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His eyebrows furled. Who was this woman? Why was she sitting on his car? Why did she not like his Prius? He came closer, “Can you get off?”
-------------------------------
Three questions right after the other can be a little redundant, but most readers might not notice.
A little something to spice up his reaction might help too, like
--
He took a few steps closer, "Can you get off?" He requested, shifting his weight awkwardly.
----------------------------
Moving on to the next paragraph I could see potential in. :)
--
Not looking at him she grinned and said, “Julie. Cold out today isn’t it? I’ve always loved the snow though. Ever since I was a little girl I’ve thought it was magical.”
“Mmhmm. Now uh, where do you live?” Gregory asked, squinting out of his frost-bitten windows.
------
Julie's sentences could have been broken up a little, with actions in between, like so,
--
Not looking at him, a smile lit up her face.
"Julie," She replied, "Cold out today, isn't it?" She commented, glancing back at him. "I've always loved the snow though." She trailed off, her voice dropping to a thoughtful murmur,
"Ever since I was a little girl, I've always thought it was magical."
---------------

That's all that really stuck out. There's a lot of tabs in this story too, but don't worry, they aren't a big problem. I just never understood what the purpose of tabs were for, it seems perfectly fine to write dialogue with just pressing enter.
I dunno, your choice. :)

However, it would be really nice if the story was broken up into paragraphs, or spaced out a little. It might be intimidating for newer readers and writers to be met with a wall of unfamiliar text.

But! Overall, it's a really intriguing story with really great pacing. The beginning is surprising, the middle bits are very engaging, and the ending really grips the reader, and manifests a sense of mystery and awe.
Your writing really shows a lot of promise, and gives me a good impression for the first piece I've read from you.

I'll definitely be reading more of your work in the future.
Cheers! And have fun writing! :D