Eternally Damned

"What you think of as pain is only a shadow. Pain has a face. Allow me to show it to you. Gentlemen, I... Am... Pain."
-Hellraiser:  Bloodline, Pinhead

"Honey!" I swear I heard as I jolt from a restless sleep
Oh, alone, that's right, but the voice was so real, I leap
I wander through this empty house, praying THIS is the dream
I will one day soon awaken from, with scream after scream

I'm tired of living and upset from always wanting to die
In misery from this curse I somehow earned for wanting to try
To have a "normal" family was all I ever desired in my heart
Now it's a broken home, like how I was raised, a living art

There is a certain feeling I can never quite describe
A constant throbbing pain, all through my inside
I wish I could tell you it was all in my head
But it's not, and I know losing you, will keep me wishing, myself dead

This is an endless nightmare, that puts the romance of Shakespear to shame
How for years you claim to have never, loved me the same
We brought a child in to this world, and we shared our vows
And every day, every single day, you said there were no doubts

We showered each other with love, and kisses, and hugs, and uplifts
We were the same inside the doors, as outside, no drifts
Looked upon as the real deal, a real love come true
And for me?  Well every day, only for you my heart grew

SURPRISE, out of nowhere, you no longer want to be "tied down"
But 6 months later, you've moved in, with another, in another town
You slashed with your voice, you ripped with your words
Put me down, insulted me, broke me down, too small pieces for birds

What happened to the woman, I treated like a perfect queen
And showered with praise, and a love, I could never demean
My heart, and soul, glued to you, will NEVER heal and be whole
And I'm stuck, my life in quicksand, my faith has taken its toll

I can't tell the world, if it was worth the risk, to love as deeply as I do
As a sensitive, and loving man, to pour it all in to you
To never have a doubt, to never, lose belief
But now it will take a shovel and dirt over my body, to feel some relief