My life

This is inspired by some events in my life. I looked at a picture of some one and saw a pic that brought back some memories so i had to write it down.

Once upon a time
when life was filled with rhyme
Life was very simple
and life was very sweet
I had some one to love
and had a family i could keep.

Now once upon a time
now that there is no rhyme
life is very hard
life has no little treats
the one i love has left me
and my family's torn a piece.

I wish i could go back
back to how it was
cause then i was so happy
but now i know i can't
for life has changed a plenty
and now I'm no longer me
because sorrow has filled me full
full with pain and with no glee.

But i know that i am strong
and though my life is torn
i still can make a smile
and be filled with joy and love
for there are those that love me
and not all my family's gone
so since i have so many
my life can now go on.

Reviews

[Siddhartha]

I disagree...A poem need not necessarily rhyme all the time...I really liked the poem but think that maybe it just needs a slight touch up...In the second stanza for example,'now once upon a time' seems somewhat conflicting...I maybe wrong though for one poet's reason is another's poison...:P

[GreenSkeleton16]

I liked it :) I think it would have been better if you kept the rhyming. I mean you said there was no rhyme in the second paragraph but i think there still should have been.