Our Garden

Our Garden

A Story by Terrestrial.42
"

A small part of a writing project I'm hoping to extend... It's pretty much about two people who meet in their dreams, but live halfway across the world from each other.

"

It is an overcast, grey day; on the surrounding leaves, grass, and purple hyacinth petals, a thin mist of dew is forming. There is neither birdsong nor buzz of insects disturbing the still air " there is no wind.

Sitting on a stone bench a few hundred yards away, a young man hums a lullaby. His black hair is unruffled, well-groomed: he’s wearing generic, cotton clothing in plain white. His beige shoes trace light shapes in the grass " calm, patient. His eyes, a dark brown, focus intently on some distant point.

Suddenly, he turns, his burnt chocolate gaze lighting up. A serene smile breaks across his face, revealing slightly crooked teeth. He stands and starts to approach, coming ever closer...

“Rowan? Roooowaaaan.... you in there? Hello?”

There was something blocking my view.

“Earth to loser.”

It was a hand. Someone was waving their hand across my field of vision.

“You are so spacey today. Seriously.”

I should concentrate.

I tried to focus on the source of my distraction, but the hand was no longer there; in its place, I saw an exasperated face, all big, green eyes and lip ring. It was Comfort.

“Hey,” I said, trying to sound solidly present. “Uh... what?”

“You are so hopeless,” she said, with a small laugh. “I was just telling you about our Chemistry homework, but I’m pretty sure you didn’t get any of it.”

“I am hopeless,” I responded, exasperated, “but try going over it again.”

I was in the school library, sitting across from Comfort, who was twirling her blond-grey hair between two fingers. It was pin-straight, a quality I’d always envied, since my stubborn waves wouldn’t submit to any attempts to smooth them out. She smiled a braces-straight grin, and launched into her explanation about carbon atoms and the way they linked with hydrogen in a kind of grid...

***

 The sky is clouded tonight, giving the entire garden a subdued, matte look. I’m standing in front of the border hedges, whose dark green leaves are interrupted here and there with tiny, scintillating stars. She should be here soon. I’m careful not to crush any little purple flowers as I meander across the lawn towards the distant marble pool.

It’s right next to a stone bench, so I sit, watching white rose petals float on the still water. Everything’s quiet here. It’s nice. Peaceful. I allow my mind to go blank, staring at the ashen clouds, feeling one with the world.

I feel a presence nearby, so I turn my head, knowing she’ll be there. She’s a sight to behold, wearing a plain white dress and silver bangles on her wrists. Her hair, a dark copper, frames her round face in tight waves. I can’t see them from here, but I know she has hazel eyes " a rich honey tone with mossy flecks.

I stand, smiling, ecstatic to see her. I just want to hold her close...

I wake with a start, staring at my bedroom ceiling. I had been having such a good dream, too...

© 2010 Terrestrial.42


Author's Note

Terrestrial.42
I wish there was a little "under construction" sign you could post with stuff... let me know what you think, though, don't hold back the criticism. :)

My Review

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Featured Review

This is SUCH a cool idea. Please continue with it! Comfort's description was great- it fed directly into the narrator's next line of thought. The completeness with which you described the two main characters, however, distracted me a bit from what was going on with the plot. I think it would be possible to confirm what they are like with less adjectives.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is SUCH a cool idea. Please continue with it! Comfort's description was great- it fed directly into the narrator's next line of thought. The completeness with which you described the two main characters, however, distracted me a bit from what was going on with the plot. I think it would be possible to confirm what they are like with less adjectives.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 5, 2010
Last Updated on May 6, 2010

Author

Terrestrial.42
Terrestrial.42

Niagara, Canada



About
Hey, I'm a 17-year-old Canadian girl who loves action movies and sherbert ice cream. Winter is the best season; I hate the heat and the sun. I love writing, but don't get to do it often enough. Hop.. more..

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