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Chapter 1


A Chapter by Far and Away
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The begining.
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I was nearly fifteen and in my first semester as a freshman in high school when David was in Iraq, Isabel lost her job and my big brother Edward totaled his new car. My brother and I argue about how all this happened. I said its because George W. Bush was president. Edward said it was destiny. Whatever. Isabel said we sound like the characters in her favorite book ‘To Kill A Mockingbird. My brother and I don’t agree to this day, but we do think it all started when I was 8 and he was 11 when the United States was terrorized on September 11. Now that may be the beginning but it wasn’t until I was fifteen it all affected me a lot more.

“Mercedes, wake up. Its morning,” said Edward walking into my room.

Today was my first day of school. First day in high school to be exact. My brother who’s a senior was overly excited his sister was going to high school with him.

“Mercedes…” Edward then jumped on my bed “First day of school! First day of school!”

“Ugh! Edward, get off.”

“You don’t want to be late for school now, do you?”

“Maybe.”

“ No, of course not, because I’m taking you.”

In my fourteen years of life and the eleven years of actually thinking for myself, I could never back down from anything Edward said.

“Since when?”

“since, now”

“Why?”

“ I want to take my favorite sister to school.”

“ I’m your only sister.”

“ Oh, well that’s even better, get ready Mercedes,”

He got off of me and left me to get ready.

I went down stairs sporting black Capri Dickies, black and white converse high tops, and a simple white t-shirt.

“ Good morning, Mercedes,” Isabel said setting down a plate of waffles freshly sprung from the toaster, a glass of orange juice and returned with a bottle of maple syrup.

Edward busted in, ran to Isabel, gave her a quick peck on the cheek, squeezed the life out of me and sat down for his own plate of waffles.

“Good morning, Edward.”

“Morning, Isabel.”

“What were you doing?” I asked.

Edward looked up from drenching his waffles with syrup. “ I was getting the mail.”

“ No you weren’t.”
“ The paper?”

“ Liar.”

“Getting the dog?”

“ We don’t have a dog.”

He then looked up with a face that said “wait, I’m thinking.”

“ I was being Edward, ok?”

I rolled my eyes. “ ok, then gosh”

While Edward and I ate, Isabel turned the television on and flipped through the channels while sipping at her coffee.

“ Isabel are you working today?” I asked.

She was still wearing her pj’s and slippers.

“ Nope. I’m relieved. I work too much,”

“ What do you mean? You don’t do anything.”

“ Yeah, I do. I sit at a desk in front of a computer all day and answering phone calls and talk to parents.”

“That’s a lot of work?”

“ Sure is,”

Isabel worked as the attendance lady at my old junior high- Cooper junior high- a school that only has 7th and 8th grade.

Where is David in all this? Well he is out of the states serving his country. How? David is in the Marine Corps. He’s been in it since he was twenty. He has been in Iraq where he is stationed for two years now. He comes back almost every six months. We miss him a lot.

“ Mercedes,” Edward said.

“Hmm?”

“ You look like a punk.”

“ No, I don’t.”

“ You like a skater then.”

“ No I don’t. I look like Mercedes.”

“ You look like a delinquent,” Isabel added.

I laughed, “ Thanks.”

“ People are going to think your in a gang.” Edward said.

“ I don’t care what people think.”

“ That’s my girl!” Isabel said, throwing her fist in the air while her eyes stayed glued to the TV screen.

Edward and I finished our waffles and got up to get our things.

“ Mercedes, you have everything?” Isabel asked.

“ Yup.” Walking to the door where my back pack was. Edward beat me to it and grabbed it before me.

“ Dude!? Do you have anything in here?”

“ Uh ya!” I said grabbing it from him.
“ Gosh.”

“ Come on Edward, I thought you were taking me.”

“ Yeah, yeah come on let’s go,” Edward opened the front door. Isabel walked toward us.

“ Alright kiddies, have a great day at school.”

Edward walked out and I followed and stopped immediately at the sight in front of me.

“ You like?” Edward asked.

“ Is this why you were outside?”

“ Yup, isn’t she beautiful?”

“ She?”

This “she” was a 2007 black Mustang.

“ Whoa, is “she” yours?”

“ Yup,”

“ Ha Mercedes you should see your face. Priceless,” exclaimed Isabel.

“ Its big and…shiny,” I stated.

“ …I know. Come on lets go.”

I hugged Isabel, said goodbye and hopped into the passenger seat. Edward slid into the drive’ls seat.

“ Cool, huh?”

“ Yeah.”

“ All right let’s hit the road.” Edward put the stick in reverse and drove down the driveway.




© 2008 Far and Away



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Author's Note

i'd appreciate it if you tell me if i spelled anything wrong or put it wrong.
tell me if it flows good.did you get confused at all. please this is the first story im letting other people read...thanks!
My Review

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Featured Review

Review: Nicely done. I noticed only a few errors, (although there may have been more, they were not obvious enough for me to notice without a more editorial view) I'm not sure where this story is headed, but it has a very addictive methodology to it. I usually don't go for the stories with lots of very short lines, but this actually worked surprisingly well for me. I look forward to reading more of this.

Contest Review: Very good writing. It sets up a very hooking opening, which would cause just about any reader I know to immediately go to the next chapter. It's only because it's near midnight and I'm dead-tired that I am not currently reading your second chapter. While i can't make any promises, I'm going to have to tell you to keep your hopes up. There have been a lot of good submissions already, but this is one that not only is written well but attracts my attention greatly. And considering the number of positive reviews, if it does indeed make it to the finals, I wouldn't be surprised to see you in at least the top-three. Good luck!

Posted 2 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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