Memories and the Sharpness

Oh, You will forever live.

And the feet beat like a drum on the bare ground.

The cement was wet and it made a unique sound.

We were young but I still remember

Who we were and of what were the embers

That burned as our youth.

It was just me and you.

We were the best of friends

And we were always singing, “The End”

And we would always find a familiar tune

Among my old albums by La Dispute.

And yeah, I know things change

But why could we not stay the same!

So I’ll go back to that place

And I will find your face!

I will remind you of how I feel!

I will remind you of youthful zeal!

Can’t you just stand happy?

Can’t you just stand happy?

And did you even see me?

I was patiently walking!

I had my hands in my pockets and my head to the ground.

The cement was dry and it made that crackling sound.

You stepped right by me, looking into my face,

But you continued onward and made your escape!

Why was I so scared to make my peace?

I should have shouted and yelled myself to sleep!

Because now I cannot even sleep a single hour

And I wonder- oh I wonder what gives you such power.

How can you be so controlling?

Get your ensnaring fingers out of me!

I will go back to that place

And I will find your face!

I will remind you of how I feel

And I will show you what you steal!

Can you not just stay happy?

Why can’t we just be-

Havoc ringing in my head, she is calling; she is-

Innocence dying until he’s dead, he is bawling; he is-

He is calling and calling and calling. He is-

God.

Author's Note

Comment and say what you think. Honestly...

Reviews

[Jack Wolfe]

The memories of lost love, the never ending sorrow, and the simple plea to just go back to the way things were before--lost love can be fleeting, and at times we can only bear to live in the past. I enjoyed this and it had a fluid flow to it; it read almost as if put to a melody. I do caution against using repetitive starts to lines, as they can stand out, and give your piece a bit of a run-on feeling.

[TheLastEclipse]

As always, critique and constructive criticism old chum. Appreciated and noted!

[Ashira Macy]

Betrayal of a friendship or perhaps a relationship that fizzled out over the years. And then when there is a chance to get some sort of closure the other just walks on by. The end is what really got me going, with the interruptions of some of the lines it seemed frantic. It read like it could be a song. I liked it, well done.

[TheLastEclipse]

Thank you, madam. It is always lovely to receive a compliment from someone as talented as yourself.

[Brook]

This sounds very much like a song, i think i'd love it if it was actually.
MAKE IT A SONG! ;) My favourite line is "You stepped right by me, looking into my face,
But you continued onward and made your escape!" it just makes me think. I honestly think you've written this so beautifully, great job.

[TheLastEclipse]

Most definitely may make it a song. Speaking of which, have you heard any of my material? I post stuff on FB all the time, though I have done little recently. I've been practicing.

[Brook]

I haven't actually. Tag me in something so I can see it!

[Lyan]

This poem had me hooked up till the end. I felt the ending was a surprise; did not think it would be an ending as such. Then again, I forgot to read the little blurb by the title. Still I enjoyed reading the poem and thought it had a lot of emotions in it which made it powerful and made me hooked.

[Kid Strong]

The flow of this speaks well and strong, not once did I want to stop reading this, by the 4th line I was hooked and wanted to finish this. I enjoyed this a lot, I can hear it being said to a melody.

[B-poet]

The nostalgic story telling style of this piece works very well with its overall theme. The ending stanza also closes out this poem in epic fashion. Great work. A remarkable read. :)