Darkness

There are two sides of the coin that only you can tell which is which.

   Staring ahead at the clouds that drifted by as if chased away by the purple tint, I smirked upon the purity it impressed upon humanity.  Above they hovered - clean and untainted.

   Unlike me.

   '...you think everyone around you is nice? Think again boy!..'

   Life was not easy on me.

  And I could do the same as well, in short, we were not on good terms. He treated me cruelly and I returned the favor with the same vigor. How could I not? He started it, so I did the same.

   Now, I found myself standing in the middle of the busy street, the throng of people passed me by, their voices flown like riddles with unfathomable language - familiar, yet incomprehensible to my ears.

   Just like me.

   Should I go with the flow?

   However, I am a man strayed in a lone path oblivious from the norm of humanity - of Life. Going with them means, suicide - death.

   People means life.

   Shaking my head, I turned against the tide of Life. Seeking out the Truth whilst my hands were in my pocket.

   As always, the usual me.

   Tonight is the night.

  A grin spread on my lips like oil as the icy air bit against my cheeks, sweeping away the dark strands of mane that strayed on my gelid green eyes.

   An exhilarating sensation swelled in my chest that sent a familiar rush through every fiber of my being.

  

   'Now, how shall I start my little hunt?' And my spirit soared up to the blackening horizon.

   Tonight is my night.

***

  Morning came in a sudden burst of golden light that swept away the dreary gray clouds from the sky.

   Now, time to don the mask.

   As always, I'm the worse.

   I found myself standing in the midst of a busy intersection where cars honked and bonked at the bustled traffic, while people crossed with impassive faces and unintelligible voices.

This time, I went with the flow.

   And this is the other me.

  Not long, I reached my place. An obsequious grin was upon my lips as people greeted me at the sight of me.

   "Good morning, Sir! Have you heard the news?"

   As usual, friendly talks cannot be easily swept away. And with a sigh I turned a friendly smile towards the man.

   "What news, Henry?" I asked.

   The dark haired, plump man in his forties with a habit of prying into others' business and to the point of engaging to rumors halted me in my walk. I cannot be more lucky than to face Mr. Henry. Once more, I slipped myself into the shoes of a concerned citizen, putting up a curious mask as I faced him.

   I have never been truer.

   "There has been a murder!" he bellowed, throwing his right arm in the air. 

   "A business man was found dead, lying in his pool of blood inside his room last night! Nobody knew he had any enemies but last night, it was said that somebody had seen him talking with a dark haired stranger before his murder. Quite scary isn't it? Better be careful with strangers around you."

   Right hand upon my chin, I could only nod in agreement.

   "True, Mr. Henry," I said, before I turned to my silver wristwatch, the short hand struck towards eight.

   "Well now, I gotta go Mr. Henry. Really, all of us should be careful," I said, as I turned round on my heel.

   'Especially you, Mr. Henry.'

   I am Me.

  'Derick boy, you think everyone is nice around you? Think again boy! Let me teach you a lesson or two about Life!'

   I could still remember the pain all over my body - how that person, who stood as my father turned me black and blue. I could still feel the raw stabbing pain on my flanks as the silver point slashed its way down into my side, how the red flown out like a stream.

   Why? Why are you so cruel? What did I ever do? 

  

   ....

   ...

   ..

   .

   I should have died. I should have...

  I remembered how death felt cold against my limbs, how it turned me into emptiness, until - 

   Think again, Derick.

   A wide, sly grin spread upon my lips.

  Now, I have another purpose.

  Life.

  Life is a hair breadth's away from Death.

  Tonight, I have to teach people an important lesson about Death. 

'...you think everyone is nice around you?' 

  Yes.

  Not everyone is nice around you.

  Smiles, laughter, greetings - they are all the same. It's just a mask of pretension. And Life doesn't care. 

  It seems people can't grasp it.

  They will need someone to teach them that.

  So...

Mr. Henry, let me teach you that lesson, tonight...

-TheMalady

 

Author's Note

I just started revising my work. Any comments or suggestions would be gladly accommodated. :)

Reviews

[jesserose99]

deeply dark and mysterious, loved the way you crafted this story together bit by bit. like what you have to say here, and people do take life for granted. they are all caught up in pretention. i did find myself wanting to read on here, the twisted past of the abusive father, all very interesting. really enjoyed this.

[TheMalady]

Thank you very much jesserose99! I did some revisions here as suggested by the other readers and I'm glad that the message clearly reached you. Thank you so much for taking your time reading this. Have a wonderful day! :)

[Imane Ben]

Ambiguous and dark narrative, the best thing to read today as I needed something unclear to read in this so clear world haha. I said to myself I'll only have a look at the first words, but I just ended up reading till the end and felt the desire to read more of this( Yeah, 'that's what mystery and dark writings are made for, to appeal readers and rise their curiosity and you surely have been successful in doing so). Though I felt like some parts were forcibly or inappropriately glued, but it was only untrue feeling which was disconfirmed by my eager reading till the end. Moreover, the use of flashbacks was smartly employed in this state of misery /mystery= misystery that I encourage you for more creative and good works!

[TheMalady]

Thanks a lot! You're quite right. This story needs improvement and it's good that you have reminded me of that. I am glad as well that you liked this and had been drawn to read 'till the end. Thanks a lot again for such a very helpful feedback! :)

[Serge Wlodarski]

It is teachers like you that make me glad I dropped out of school. Good job of telling the story with a minimum of words.

[TheMalady]

haha, though I must say that I found myself speechless of your words, however I'm glad that you liked this story and it gave you something that made you glad. Thank you very much for the time in reading this. :)

[Leran Vakem]

What a wonderfully dark, thought provoking story. Can we truly know a person completely? Mixing the history of the character with his present was brilliantly done.

Just a few things I noticed in this piece:

"I slipped myself into a the shoes of concerned citizen" just check the order of the word it would read better if it was "...into the shoes of a..."

"Though, nobody knew he had any enemies, but last time, it said he was seen talking to dark haired stranger before his murder" I think that the "...last time, it said..." should be "...last night, it is said..."

These are just my thoughts but still a very good read.

L.V.

[TheMalady]

Aw! I didn't noticed these..! Thanks a lot for pointing these mistakes. I truly appreciate it. Ha-ha, thanks a lot for the review, btw. I truly appreciate it. :)

[Leran Vakem]

Oh I forgot to mention the third and last one that I found, I know I may sound a bit like a critic sorry for it
"...lying on his pool of blood..." should be "..lying in a pool of his blood..."
These were all that I found

[TheMalady]

Yeah, thanks again! You're a life-saver. I'd be honest that I am not really good in proof-reading or spotting my own mistakes. Thanks a lot! :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing use of words. You brought the reader in and held them. I like the set-up. Leading the reader into each paragraph and making them wish to read more. I enjoyed the flow of thoughts leading to good ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

[TheMalady]

Thank you very much for taking your time in reading this story! I really appreciate it :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed your work and I return later tonight and read some more.

[TheMalady]

Aw, thanks a lot! I'm truly happy for that! :)

[V]

A dark one. Though I like to write dark things, too. But when it comes to writing stories, I'd like to disguise the darkness in kinder words, just subtle hints. However, you wrote an entertaining piece.

[TheMalady]

Thank you very much for the review! I just had an inspiration to write this. Your feedback is really a motivation for me. Thanks again! :)

[Lavorther]

Hiding behind a mask... How familiar that sounds. I think a lot of people hide their true identity, thoughts or emotions behind a mask. This story just goes to show how you can never know what kind of a person is behind the mask. A really interesting story, almost poetic. I really enjoyed this, it made me think, rather than just sit and read passively.

Some things I noticed:

"... we are not in good terms"
I'm not a native English speaker so I might be mistaken, but shouldn't it be "on good terms", instead of "in"? Also, the "are" is present tense, while the rest of the story is in past tense.

"familiar yet, incomprehensible to my ears"
Please allow me to be really nit-picky here: that comma should be before "yet", not after. If you read it out loud while emphasizing the pause, you should notice that it feels a bit off.

"It seems people can't grasped it."
"grasped" should be "grasp".

[TheMalady]

Thanks a lot for pointing this out. I missed these points. I'll try to work this out now. Thanks a lot for the review! I really appreciate it! :)

[Krizito]

Okay...this is dark and creepy...I love the storyline. Nice narrative...although I would've rooted for a less ambiguous ending...nice work!!!

[TheMalady]

Thanks a lot for reading! I'll try to keep that in mind! :) Thanks for the review! :)

[Lalochezia]

Your story is giving me the creeps - in a positive way. Everything stays vague but being a short story I don't think that it needs more detail.

One thing that came to mind: How about telling this story in the present tense? It might increase the feeling of sitting in the murderer's head, preying on his next victim.

[TheMalady]

Thanks a lot for the time in reading. I'll try to do that in the future. This is just a try-out, but thanks for the feedback! :)

[Archos]

This is nice. I especially like the description of Mr. Henry. I think you could expand the ending a little, though.

[TheMalady]

Thanks a lot! I'll keep that in mind! :) Thanks for reading and reviewing again. :)