Life In A Trip

I scream in colour but sink to bed.

I close my eyes and dream in red.

My face is pale, my eyes of dark.

The flashing lights going black.

 

The land of mine has endless time.

A reflection claims another life.

I am so strong, I am so brawn.

A king I am of my own crown.

 

I taste the freedom when it dies.

Imagination paints my lies.

Flying flies arise and play,

watching the skies as I lay.

 

In the deepest blue there is no reason.

It is not here what I call prison,

but in the fates that stand in lines.

A make believe with open eyes.

 

Myself swirls, swims and turns.

Spirals until my body hurts.

Burns my mind without precaution.

Reality in a twisted motion.

 

I am where I am not.

I see exactly what I want.

I cannot help but staying more,

because I know that I should not...

 

My life disappoints me furthermore.

 

Reviews

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

throughout your poem I kept envisioning a phantom allure exhaling a wisp of smoke~stunning imagery imbued with extreme emotives in engaging composition~ you start off very strong with

I scream in colour

and continue the deep drive into the engaged psyche


and wrap it up with equally strong effect~

[Cassiopia Summers]

The word colour, it screams within me.
My favorite stanza-
"In the deepest blue there is no reason.
It is not here what I call prison,
but in the fates that stand in lines.
A make believe with open eyes."
Wonderful. Love it!

[Aven]

Wow, breathtaking composition. I loved your use of metaphor and the way every line seemed connected to the previous and the next. Great!

[MiidniightSoul]

You have so much talent. You express so many emotions in all of your work, I can't help but wonder why. It's very beautifully written and it's very descriptive. " I taste the freedom when it dies." Such an awesome line, hopeless and painful. Wonderful!

[Vicky Zhuang Yi-Yin]

wow, this is exactly how everyone feels in today's world. I mean who wouldn't want to live like they're the king of the world. and real like does disappoint everyone. I don't know if this is because we just want too much or is it because it's just because we're humans. I love the flow of this poem. It was something almost everyone could relate to. And the last line delivers the final blow to our humanity. Excellent. Good job, keep writing!
-Yin

[Kristoffer Kindh]

This poem was not bad, really great in fact. The entire poem builds up to the last line that says it all. Good job!

[FocusedAmnesia]

The first line, "I scream in colour..." drew me in, and the last line is oh-so-true. Amazing write.

[SilentDreamer]

Interesting last line, and interesting poem over all. Great job

[RitaMargarita]

love this one, really great!

but may i say.. i think

I taste the freedom when it dies.
Imagination paints all my lies.(с) feels like sounds better if to change to " imagination paints my lies", mean without "all"

just saying)) hope it doesnt hurt your feelings or anything))