Please Check my attempt

Please Check my attempt

A Poem by Diwakar - "The Warrior of Will"
"

Try to try

"

Acrostic


"I tried Haiku"


In the midst of courageous night

 

Trying my dexterity at Haiku,

Resting luck at you,

I may not land on mark

Ethos may bury in park,

Dying down like spark

 

Hindrances may evolve in style,

Arousing innumerable pile,

In spite of it, I have written,

Knowing & filing petition,

You all will help with precision.   .



Haiku (5-7-5) ….

 

HAIKU - 1


Blossoming Flower

Resembles your serene face

Erases my pain

 


HAIKU - 2


Cloudy thoughts thrill soul,

Darkness decipher Freedom

Develop courage

 

HAIKU - 3


Electrifying

Flawless courage rolls soul,

 Defeating Devil

© 2012 Diwakar - "The Warrior of Will"


Author's Note

Diwakar - "The Warrior of Will"
Tried my hand first time at haiku , help me in understand it more deeply ....... thanksss...:-)

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Reviews

Your efforts seems sophtistacted, comprising of consie wisdom enough, very good! But I really enjoyed your poem about attempting Haiku, such clarity in your writing, thanks.

Posted 11 Years Ago


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Great Attempt ! I loved the intro :)

dont have much knowledge about haiku , but i loved the three of them :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


The introduction poem is amazing! :P
The haikus are awesome.
I dont have much technical knowledge..but they were creative and spot on.
To me, a great read. :D

Posted 11 Years Ago


It is a good attempt but it is some how missing the punch in it. you need to convey a very sharp emotion in those few lines. This is what I feel about it.

Posted 11 Years Ago


You did very well. I have trouble keeping poetry under a thousand words. Take talent to express a poem in so few words. I like all three of the haiku's. My favorite was number two. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 11 Years Ago


I would say your first attempt was successful.
A little play on "you" in your acrostic, otherwise well done.
Good work, sir.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 9, 2012
Last Updated on June 9, 2012

Author

Diwakar - "The Warrior of Will"
Diwakar - "The Warrior of Will"

Delhi, Delhi, India



About
I am a dim ray in the world of enthralling darkness of misjudgment and iterations. I am a note of melodious tune of peace in the world of cruelty; I am a mischievous thought of freedom in a cage of fe.. more..

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