The State of Me

written after a stunning betrayal by a man I thought I knew

Numb,

Is what my mind is

 

Broken,

Is what my heart is

 

Black,

Is what my soul is

 

Dead

Is what my love is

 

Gone,

Is what my hope is

 

 

 

Author's Note

I question lightly whether thhis is finished or needs something more, but at the same time, it is simply an expression of the pain I felt.

Reviews

[Red & Blue]

I don't think this needs anything more adding to it, it's perfect the way it is. Its stark and full of raw emotion. Beautiful

[The Uncommon Muse]

tank you...as I read it I do have to agree...I think the piece is perfect the way it is. Thank you for taking the time to read it and comment :)

[Justaguy]

I have to say it is finished. It tells the whole story, I think.

[The Uncommon Muse]

TY...as I re-read it I have to agree. I think adding anything would only take away from the emotion of the piece.

[Justaguy]

Take away and lessen the impact, I think

I don't really think there's anything subtle about it. The message is clear, and the feelings (or lack of) is made quite clear as well. With ever first word describing how the person feels I can imagine a stab going along with it. This piece drips with poison and seems like the writer is on the path to bitterness and hate.

[Sweet & Tender Hooligan]

a subtle yet straight to the point piece full of heartbreak and emotion

[Carolina Kel]

Very well expressed. Simple and to the point.

[EmpressPoetess]

An equally astounding explanation of your pain, so well said. It's perfect as it is, because it's what you felt when you wrote it. you change it and it loses it's originality and realism.