Enternal Battle

Darkness descends upon the night
Its fearless keeper hidden from sight
Within his hands lies the power
To conquer the World in slumbering hour
Shadows sent to seize the light
Ending the days final flight
Dreams seen through innocent eyes
As tears fall and laughter dies
Silence shattered within the night
As our warrior rises to fight
From his pyre of ashes gray
Turning night into day
On wings of fire rising fast
The eternal darkness will not last
The keeper hidden shows his face
To challenge the warrior in all his grace
Here on Earth, Heaven and Hell
The outcome..
Only time can tell!

Reviews

[A.E. Surdam]

So pretty and powerful.

[HopelesslyDevoted]

excellent!!

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

Another awesome poem. "Dreams seen through innocent eyes / As tears fall and laughter dies"--I loved those two lines; so poetic, so perfect. If there is one thing that bothers me about this poem, it's how frequently the word "night" seems to pop up.

[☯]

So much description! It's very visual and dark-haunting. I like how you used heaven and hell as two symbols. Very strong and astounding. Great job :)

[Alskar]

Sounds like a conflict between night and day, or light and evil? Perhaps this is symbolic of a person's inner conflict, not knowing whether to do the right or wrong thing. Strong, symbolic and dark- if I have one criticism, it's that this could be sharper. For example, instead of 'darkness descends upon the night', maybe just 'darkness upon the night' as an opening line? It's a bit stronger, maybe just try to cut out unnecessary words that mask the otherwise beauty of your writing :)

[Kathryn]

First of all, I am astounded by the moving images you have captured in every couplet here. I have never been able to rhyme well without destroying the message, but you have done so brilliantly. The dark beauty of this is fabulous. well done!