The Lost Art Of Fully Expressing Oneself

You only hear about the good side of college. Here's the other side of the truth.

You want to know what the truth is?

I’m not okay

I feel lonely, lost of affection and intimacy. My heart sinks slowly into the quicksand. Sometimes, water gets poured into the mix and I fall quicker. I start to wonder what is it about me. Why am I not with somebody? Or for that matter, anybody. I get scared to look around, knowing that I don’t have many friends. Whenever I want to talk to somebody or just be in the company of others, I look at my phone and can’t call anybody. I’m surrounded by thousands of people, communicate with many people every day but all of the superficial talk only gets you knee deep in the kiddy pool. This leads nowhere and nobody wants to talk about what they really feel. Sure, spread the good vibes, but where are the feelings that matter? What happened to speaking your mind, no filter. Maybe I’m having a hard time adjusting to this new convention of societal rules or maybe people are becoming more and more superficial. Afraid to share their true feelings and scurry away faster than cockroaches caught during the middle of a late night feast when the thought of expressing one self comes out. This honestly sickens me to the point where I feel like I need to escape. Is this the convention in America or limited to the higher academic worlds where conforming is cool and speaking freely and expressing one self makes people flinch. I’m tired, but you’ll never see it. I’m unhappy, but you’ll never realize it. I’m lonely, but you’ll never know it.