Shadow Gale

sad inside out

Shadow Gale

they're all dead

it's all dead

poisoned from the inside

with guilt and sorrow

in the clouds 

that hang over my head

and refuse to relieve themselves

only to hang and block out the sun (if its there at all)

the inanimation  of it all

trees frozen in death, their riggermortis

in last moments of horror

as if a gale swept forth

laced with blight

the rapids turned smooth

like liquid glass as water

slick, smoothly black with tension

no longer transparent 

so I can snarl at my own reflection

in the surface of the lake

roving about are my astral faces

waiting to see new flaws

In shame the living trees 

tear off their bark

and toss them into the river

like styx my river has become

littered with broken dreams

faded pale

such is the sorrow,the shadow

that is death in blighted gale

Reviews

[Anna]

This is a really well written piece. It seems as if your are using the river as itsself and not its become full of broken dreams. I like the way you used an average event in nature and turned into a life wrecking event. Very nice.
Although, I have been looking through your work a lot and I have noticed a pattern. You organize your stanzas quite nice and you seem to be really good at that and have a decent variety of writing, but its all the same style. I challenge you to do rhyme schemes, organize your work different, inspire yourself to write in a way you wouldn't normally.

[Deron Alexis]

I'll do that I'll rhyme one day maybe even a sonnet true its one style but fee verse lends itself to my basic topic of inner chaos XD

[Anna]

Yes, that tends to be mine as well lol. Sonnets are great though, i love those

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we are much like the trees..

wonderful analogy done here...

and you kept the thread all the way through...

[Deron Alexis]

thanx for reading glad you liked it

[Frieda P]

Wow, this is compelling...wonderful imagery. I love the finish stanza...the trees stripping their bark in protest. Dark clouds are a lovely metaphor, although I'm sure there are certainly dark clouds which block the sun...it's dark and absorbing, definitely makes one stand up and pay attention. Riveting read. Nice...

[Deron Alexis]

thanx its cool when my writing has an effect on people

[Frieda P]

This one certainly did my friend, and the pleasure was all mine.

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy..]

Great one , its picturing the pain in a creative way :)

[Deron Alexis]

thanks XD

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

Welcome my dear friend :)
I miss your reviews

[kimmy]

Oh wow! This was a great piece..I can understand this, I them night time crazy ness :) You have done an awesome job to me.

[Deron Alexis]

thank you XD