Careful Wishes

Careful Wishes

A Poem by Beatrice Mars

Your messages

Came from the future,

I thought that odd

But,

Then again,

You've always been

One step ahead of me.

 

You told me about the future,

Where it rains from

Sunny blue skies

And all manner of

Impossible things take place

 

I said I didn't understand,

Nor could I believe you anymore,

You said,

As if in a huff,

I might as well leave then.

I agreed.

 

But,

I've got to say,

When you started

Fading before my eyes

I was surprised

And elated.

 

Now that you're gone

I'm tracing my

Footsteps back to where it

All started.

 

I'm on the floor trying

To work out

When it all went wrong.

 

I'm looking up at the sky,

Wondering where you are now.

 

But I don't really care

Because

(You're a lying b***h)

I've stopped believing in

Imaginary friends

And if I'm careful

(What you said might come true)

Everything will be good.

© 2010 Beatrice Mars


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Reviews

Interesting, rain from a sunny sky, that is a most appealing thought. :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


Oh my. I enjoyed the poem from the very beginning. And the end came as such a shock to me, it just made me love it more!

Posted 13 Years Ago


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EMP
this was reeeally good beth, i especially liked the first paragraph!
really powerful write

"Your messages
Came from the future,
I thought that odd
But,
Then again,
You've always been
One step ahead of me."

brilliant (:

Posted 13 Years Ago


:O :O :O That was worth the wait! I LOVED IT :D it made me grin (as i sit here by myself in the dark...looking like a wierdo.. except there's no one to see.....ANYWAY) It was brilliant and i loved the references to stuff i recognised - messages from the future :') and just the whole... 'voice' i read it in in my head... i dunno at some points it seems almost distant and dreamy and then suddenly next moment it's all 'you're a lying b***h' and.. and.. and.. and the way it unfolds and you sort of hit the reader with something new in each stanza and you're sort of left with your mouth hanging open thinking... 'wow'...

'Now that you're gone
I'm tracing my
Footsteps back to where it
All started.'

I think because of the picture you used for this poem i could just imagine you or the protagonist or whoever meandering through the meadow trying to work it all out and i love the bit at the end where you suddenly say imaginery friend and it just evokes that feeling of after something has happened and you're left thinking... 'did it really happen? or was it just my imagination??' and like that the reader isn't really sure if it's a metaphor or if the person really was a figment of the protagonists imagination.............

anyway i hope that review is to your liking - long and pretentious - just as i'm sure you like them ;) anyway REALLY LOVED IT :) xxxxxxx

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on June 3, 2010
Last Updated on June 3, 2010

Author

Beatrice Mars
Beatrice Mars

United Kingdom



About
I'm an 19 year old girl. Of all the souls that stand create I have elected one. When sense from spirit files away, And subterfuge is done; When that which is and that which was Apart, intr.. more..

Writing