Love vs Friendship

...A girl falls in love with her guy friend...He stays away after knowing the girl's love for him...Sometimes, we really have to keep love as a secret just to save friendship...

I gave enough for you to become happy
Even at hours when I was too busy
But how come your heart is still not with me?
It is the same girl everyday that you can see
Am I too undeserving to be with you?
All you can do is to make me blue

Now that our friendship is broken because of love
It is I kneeling and praying with tears to the above
How can my affection erase everything we did?
You're just the person I love and truly need
What kind of potion did that girl give to you?
Let me know it and I'll take it too

I thought that in our relationship there was 'forever'
But now, all I can see in the shadows is the word 'never'
I will not regret everything that we had
Although all you can do is to make me sad
You were the greatest and biggest part of me
But I was something that you never really see

Reviews

[Colton O'Weekly]

It is very true - a lot of people have these things happen to them. I personally can relate to it.

VERY well written! I usually don't like standard AABB rhyme schemes, but there isn't much wrong with an AABB rhyme scheme. Just so that you know, though, you can have poems that rhyme more, less, have slant rhymes (Example would be "Birds" and "merge" - the way you pronounce them makes them rhyme potentially), and even that rhyme in different places!

I want to stress though that you did a great job, you didn't do anything wrong that I can see. I just thought it might be nice to let you know about some alternative ways to write poetry than the traditional verse format.

Still, very nicely written, something a lot of people can relate to. Could use improvement - everything can - but really I don't see any errors personally.

[Kasa]

last stanza is a poem-rest is a... an accumulation of the un-intentionally included , like a song that never really left u . poem was about your experience. and it reads like a letter-'dear diary'

[The Siren]

Ughhhhhhh I have been there! Some guys are just jerks. It really hurts when ur in this situation. Its sweet that you wrote about someone else's pain. It means you have perspective. Great work!

[Kuhr Gred]

who inspired you... ? i love this.. i just remember your screenplay :)

[Sleeping Maiden]

Wah! I definately can relate. And this is so sad... very heartfelt for me. And it's very strong. -sigh- Falling in love with someone that is our friend.. is probably the most dangerous and kinda hard to deal with. lol. I absolutely love this poem though!! It has all the words I can relate to falling in love with a friend.
Beautiful poem! Well-written. I love the way you describe the pain.. it's straight forward.

[Sarah J. Mendonca]

I think the flow could be improved. When I read it outloud the sentences are constructed in a way that makes me have to stop and re-read.

[K.C. Zbryk]

Its a tragedy when friendship is shattered by something like this, but the poem that you wrote captures the feelings of regection and abandonment perfectly. It has a wonderful flow and there is nothing wrong with a simple aabb rhyme scheme. Its still one of my favorites. Keep writing and you will find the different formats that you prefer to use. But this is an amazing poem.

[TheElfPrincess]

A true poem, very relatable. A lovely poem. Well done.

[shea]

Beautiful write, completely true, i really like this.

[deeps]

Such powerful emotion and so well written. I really like this write.

[Niki Wilson]

I can really see through this, Thrinna Mae, youo made this seem as if you were in it! I had the same problem, Im not trying to get negative attention, but I would tell them to go through love and explain everything to both of them,
~ Clara Quinn~