I Tried Enough

...When you've given your best yet you still think it wasn't good enough...

I  tried to be a sun to lighten up your entire day

I tried to be a heroine for you in a unique way

I tried to be a dream that can make you aim high

I tried to be a synthetic rose that will never die

 

I  tried to be a shadow watching you every moment

I tried to be a medicine when you seem not decent

I tried to be a chocolate that can remove your depression

I tried to be a fairy who can make you drink a love potion

 

I  tried everything to impress you with my ability

But it looks not sufficient to be your one and only

Someday, I’ll do better and I will come to reach you

You are a dream so high that will never come true

Reviews

[Legacy]

Thrinna Mae,

Currently missing those moments of things (this good) just popping in my head! ;)

To the eye, ‘tis pleasing
To the emotions, ‘tis giving
To the end, ‘tis moving

The wonder of it all is that the font walks right beside the flow in your words; I can nearly hear you thinking this aloud.

Most wonderfully done, especially as it just popped in your head, pure and sweet yet bitter and dissatisfied. (The emotion).

Allowing me to flashback to those days of hopeful love and excitement - ah, to be let down by love again (in these days). Time is slipping by; embrace the love despite its' deceit.

Thank you for sharing,

Legacy

P.S. Have you entered any of the contests within Poetic Infusion Society? If not, I believe this one belongs in Love.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Personification of classical play, and moved emotion, my dear girl, your pen write nothing but exceptional art, well done, good read.

[Shep]

You should have lots of free time to write such amazing poems. Nicely done.

[Branch Isole]

Honest emotions within this piece struggling for surface recognition as the story unfolds, one can sense the angst and desire of the narrator.

[Dahlia Phoenix]

"I tried to be a sun to lighten up your entire day
I tried to be a heroine for you in a unique way
I tried to be a dream that can make you aim high
I tried to be a synthetic rose that will never die"

The first stanza of this poem got to me. Honestly, this is true in every way. I mean we try in different ways to impress a certain someone or a group of people but why is that worth if we're not happy ourselves. The repeated use of the words "I tried" give it more feeling surging us in a poetic world of wishes to never come true. Nice work.

[MetBySunlight]

I love it! So good!

[Sarah 'Lúthien' ..]

Ooohhhh so nice poem....with full of love and longing....

[Rhea]

giving wings to wishes... :)

[Sagar Waingankar]

haha ... beautifully written! Random thoughts often comes in our mind but makes a quite good piece of art! You're my heroine ;-) :P Thanks for sharing!

[paradise]

I love this its so good and full of emotion

[AriaxNasies]

I loved the formatting of this poem.
The longing of the narrator is clearly felt through the diction of the poem.
Here and there the meter seems a bit off, but it's minor so it could simply be the way I'm reading the poem.
The second stanza doesn't seem to rhyme at all, but the first and third have a rhyme scheme. Is this intentional? If not, perhaps consider revising.
"I tried to be a medicine when you seem not decent"
Perhaps consider revising this line as well so it flows better with the rest of the poem.