The Unreachable Star

A star carries so many wishes that sometimes few of them fall apart.

As the brightest star calls out your name

And destiny begins to create such game

Playing with my heart to reach out for you

Gazing at the skies feeling so much blue

 

Dreaming of you each night to be with me

Lifting up my hands praying wholeheartedly

Crossing my fingers wishing for once more

As I patiently wait to find an open door

 

When I closed my eyes your vision appears

To remind me I’ve loved you for myriad years

All I’ve ever wished was to be in your life

Loving you each day seems to be so rife

You might be unreachable like a radiant star

A moment of grasping you from a space afar

Will I ever have the chance of reaching you?

Or will this dream I’ve created not come true?

Reviews

[Michael Mwachofi]

The flow in this was just gushing and i truly commend you for the effort you must have put into it to achieve that effect!

Such polished words, matured by experience, haunted by doubt but forged through time...perfectly toned piece. You get a 100% from me dear Thrinna..

Well done!!! :D

"As the brightest star calls out your name
And destiny begins to create such game
Playing with my heart to reach out for you
Gazing at the skies feeling so much blue
Dreaming of you each night to be with me
Lifting up my hands praying wholeheartedly
Crossing my fingers wishing for once more
As I patiently wait to find an open door"

Felt every word here!! Wonderful stuff!
~M.Babu~

[Jed Waffle]

ilikethat !! :)

[Jed Sabffle]

Another alluring poem of yours! Haha! :) I can really relate myself into this.
The idea is nicely woven in every part of the poem. I like the lines,
"Dreaming of you each night to be with me
Lifting up my hands praying wholeheartedly".
I can really feel the longing for a person.
You did a very good job! Keep writing!! :)

[Amila Jay]

Beautiful!!! the last two lines of the poem are great:-)

[Tai]

I loved the concept of this poem, and it is very simple and very enjoyable. That last line seemed to confuse me a little, I think it'd be a little better if you moved the "will" to before "this" in that last line, so it'll go "Or will this dream I've created not come true?" Just saying, that's how I kind of understood it after.
Anyways, amazing piece, keep it up!

[Layla Anne Massaro]

It is quite obvious that many of us wish for something that is sometimes really impossible. You have created an excellent poem again. I like how you made star synonymous to a "wish". So distant that you couldn't reach. Well done. Great flow, great words, great poetess.

...Layla...

[Desmund Tiny]

wuhoooooo..... sinu kaya yan??? astig sapol ako ah.... this poem has a big impact for me today....waaaahhhh sapul ako!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!

[Alana McGuire]

Oooh this is really neat! It reminds me of my star writing, Polaris. Much deeper than mere stars and amazing to read.
I like how you made the first letter in each stanza bold and a lot larger.
Thank you for sharing. :)

[Michael West]

beautiful write

[† Allybear!!! &d..]

This was so beautiful!!!! it really is captivating....
Ablout lovers who love, and then wishes they could get the one they want
Wow!