No Wonder

tearing at my bedsheets
i toss myself about
theres this passion thats within me
and theres no place to let it out.
With no answer in the cotton
i bite, feel red grow
a little bit of primal ectasy
if only you could know.

My mind  a voilent machine
calculating every lash
pointing disillusion,
its truths careen to crash.
games where the physical forsaken
battleground the id,
  metaphoric knife
taken by the kid.
hacked and ripped ;left some scars
that fester and do not heal
pusy swollen blistered sores
that the ego only feels.
gashes  the part of me
with none i've really shared
that part which wants and needs
and believed they'd cared.
Numbed to this massacre
my soul doesnt know
that i cant have what it wants
a part of me already saying no.

No lingered pillow messages
upon the lonely linen.
demonic and dishearted
a self destructive sin.
The loathing; when alone
has only killed the cells
designed to fix the ruin
drag me from my seven hells.

Diving off
i lied and wasnt there again
i dont feel i deserve it
just as i didnt then.
I made excuses for him
untrue closure stuck in its fangs
when they came i wasnt found
just lingering inadequency hangin round.

Tried to pump the blood
to the organ that it sought
reminded by a mirror
against healing fought.
Still marred and hurt
scared and alone
i lay in a ball
i dont love me
not a little bit
not a tiny bit at all.

Leave me scarred and paining
til i can find some release
let love help me find myself
i give it my belief.

Reviews

[Miss Shea]

This has just become one of my favorites. Not only were you able to show an understanding of emotions you're feeling, you were able to display it brilliantly. :]

Keep Writing, TidgeTiger!!