darkness rides high building heaving clouds streaks of lightning black spots moving closer and closer distant screaming shimmering cutting the fabric of reality death rides a pale horse hooves thundering galloping across the sky hell has arrived red glowing eyes soulless mocking the suicides never to realize from madness there is no where to hide
Strong stuff. The black spots are ominous, esp as they are moving closer. Very active. I can also hear the screaming 'cutting the fabric of reality'. Very strong that. The pale horse and the red eyes complete the trio of colours that often represent death, purity and blood. The notion of their being no escape from madness, perhaps even after death is terrifying.
What a fantastic poem. It's vivid and alluring. I really enjoyed your word usage and metaphors, 'death rides a pale horse, hooves thundering' is very good. The structure of your poem is beautiful as well. :)
The terror quickly draws near even if it is only in one's mind. Still , it is a haunting hungry predator, one meant to destroy. It and does destroy. Well crafted and laid out poem. Love the unique layout. Over all, an outstanding horror poem.
Strong stuff. The black spots are ominous, esp as they are moving closer. Very active. I can also hear the screaming 'cutting the fabric of reality'. Very strong that. The pale horse and the red eyes complete the trio of colours that often represent death, purity and blood. The notion of their being no escape from madness, perhaps even after death is terrifying.
you write darkness so well...as in the Stones song "the smell of death the smell of suicide...all these things we cannot hide---undercover of the night"
i feel i have seen that pale horse---and smelled suicide...oh wait, i have.
When Venus gets too close catfish have been known to come up out of the water onto the shore, feed awhile, then go back in.
It's business as usual in the Apocalypse. And business is very good right.. more..