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staring.

staring.

A Poem by Titan
"

A poem about someone I know I'll never be able to have.

"

staring.



I stare at you in a way that’s too friendly,

in a way that makes my heart jump

and tickle.

You look right back in a way that’s just friendly enough

in a way that still makes my heart thump

and giggle.

I play it cool.

You’d never know

the feelings that I want to show.
I stare at you in a gaze

in a daze

Can you see?

And you return the favor

with dull brown eyes.
You don’t see.

But a heart does not surrender

and neither will my stare.


© 2010 Titan



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Reviews

"You don't see." perfect directness. This poem has a great first impression.

Posted 4 Years Ago


wow, this is so raw and direct and heartfelt, I love the line "you look right back in a way that's just friendly enough", it percectly explains those moments of hopefullness where you think that maybe possibly there's a 2 % chance the person you love can love you back. Very well conveyed. I think it should end with "but a heart does not surrender"; the last line is a bit too forceful and the second to last line is stronger anyways and implies the last line.

Posted 8 Years Ago


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Zoe
"And you return the favor
with dull brown eyes"

That hit me in the heart. powerful line.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Oh, so beautifully sad. I know how you feel, buddy. Just keep staring and maybe, just maybe, they'll open up their eyes and realize that what their looking for has been here all along. i love the line:

in a way that makes my heart jump
and tickle.

That is way too adorable!

Posted 8 Years Ago


i also agree with what wolfshrew said. this was awesome! keep up the good work!

Posted 8 Years Ago


I'm just here to reiterate what Wolfshrew said, because I feel exactly the same way!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Very well written, I like the play with the font. It's a cute poem, it's also very realatable to an audience. Bravo.

Posted 8 Years Ago


aww this is a really sweet one :}

Posted 8 Years Ago


Nicely written! I liked this --- "But a heart does not surrender ... and neither will my stare."


Posted 8 Years Ago



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794 Views
13 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on February 23, 2010
Last Updated on February 23, 2010
Tags: angst, young love, confusion, longing, desperation, determination, poetry

Author

Titan
Titan

NJ



About
I'm just a teenager who writes about what he cannot express in words. Oh, and by the way, I'm gay. -- I am quite thankful for all the reviewers and readers. Never would I have thought that any .. more..

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