You're my poison

You're my poison

A Poem by Tony Jordan
"

- 'What's your poison?'

"
Oh darling, 
please
decant me
a chalice 
of 
you...

I will 
inhale
your heady
aroma

and 
sip from it 
for 
all
 my days.

I will giggle
like a teen
on bubbles
that tingle
my 
blood.

I will get tipsy;

ramble...
incessantly...

of how utterly
captivating
you are.

I will get drunk
on the brew
of your love
and 
never be
hung-over

~

for I will 
never 
sober of 
you

© 2016 Tony Jordan



Author's Note

Tony Jordan
toying around with pauses.

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Featured Review

stop trying to get me into romance, gotta keep the manly hermit act! i can't resist the lyrical beauty of unwavering passion like this!

(i once, long time ago, wrote something named "sinful summer club", i dont know why but this combined with the color red reminds me of it)

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tony Jordan

9 Months Ago

Your edifices are crumbling from those tumbling and squelching cow carcasses Winter.
You'll .. read more



Reviews

This is how someone can get you drunk with just a look.
The title of being"poisoned' is a bit misleading, I think.

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tony Jordan

10 Months Ago

I think the word poison here has a different meaning than the literal one Shabeeh.
I take you.. read more
Really well written!
I find it quite fascinating how you use the pauses especially for the last 16 lines. Creates a very calm atmosphere while reading it. Quite a classic approach to love poetry and yet so unique, good work!

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tony Jordan

10 Months Ago

Thank you justus for your review - it helps me a lot.
:)
Most Beautiful. Very Romantic

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tony Jordan

10 Months Ago

I do want to be a romantic poet. It's hard to allow oneself to tap into that rich vein when it has a.. read more
Barbara Borel

10 Months Ago

Thats they way it is for me . But the pain can be beautiful as well. Maybe that's emo but like you s.. read more
Tony Jordan

10 Months Ago

Yes. The most visceral poetry is pain-driven I would imagine. I don't think that's emo at all Barbar.. read more
creative, catchy and clever. how about a shot of hair of the dog that bit me? can't live with them & can't live without them. Kudos.

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tony Jordan

10 Months Ago

I think we all experience this in our life at least once. That feeling that you could simply NOT get.. read more
This is very well-written & playful & original-sounding take off from the old saying about "poison". Normally I dislike lines of only one or two words as the reading feels choppy. But in this case, I can see where the words are arranged to remind us of bubbles floating up thru something like champagne. Love the first statement about decanting (impactful & original) . . . plus the way you carry the metaphor uniformly thru-out the read.

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tony Jordan

10 Months Ago

BG forgive my tardiness. I did try to 'feel' like I had drunk some of this poison - perhaps thats th.. read more
barleygirl

10 Months Ago

WOW! I'm totally honored by your kind & uplifting words! (((HUGS)))
Tony Jordan

10 Months Ago

(((hugs back)))
As you say sparkling, witty and very good. I especially like the irony in the title.

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tony Jordan

10 Months Ago

I'm glad you caught the irony. One man's meat and all that...
I'm convinced that for everyone.. read more
I'm not really getting the feel of how this person is poison to you. This person just seems like sweet wine, which is cool, but I got from the title you were trying to portray her as poison. I see a lot of enjoyment of drinking this liquid, but none of the suffering or aching or hurting that comes from poison or does it hurt at all?

The second stanza is something I think can be fleshed out. The word heady means, "affecting the mind or senses greatly." It would have been nice to see how this liquid affected these senses.

I dont really like the fourth stanza. I felt it was a bit clumsy. What is "a teen on bubbles"? How do bubbles tingle your skin?

But otherwise....

I think this was quite romantic and did enjoy the first stanza. I also enjoyed the pauses because I thought it created a slow, dramatic effect that was enchanting.

I also really love these lines, "ramble...
incessantly...of how utterly/captivating/you are."

I also love the idea of this and the juxtaposition of loving something that can be damaging.

Thanks for sharing! Have a great day!

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tony Jordan

10 Months Ago

Hi Jazz Lover - sorry I was missed this review - thank you.
I guess the phrase that was in mi.. read more
Livana Lowell

10 Months Ago

Oh! Okay, now I get it te whole concept. Ehh, I still think that stanza was awkward. Maybe say "like.. read more
Great work Tony, I need time to decide if I read this piece as wine or love for a woman, i hate choices, ok I'll take both! Top notch writing Tony!

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tony Jordan

10 Months Ago

Arrghh
Andrew - again I've been ignorant to your words. I'm really sorry mate.
I find.. read more
Quality love poem.
Novel, touching sentiments extremely well crafted.
A fresh verbal breeze, Tony!

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tony Jordan

10 Months Ago

Thank you Jimmy.
Those are the kind of things I like to hear. :)
Wow...love this.
It's simple, yet complex.
Straight-forward, yet convoluted.
Beautiful in its imagery and allegory. Perfect!

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tony Jordan

10 Months Ago

Your words are a sweet salve ReedWrite.
Thank you for taking the time to read and review this.. read more

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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on December 6, 2016
Last Updated on December 6, 2016
Tags: drink, decant, love

Author

Tony Jordan
Tony Jordan

United Kingdom



About
Just writing to get it out My avatar is an actual slice of an onion that I cut up and I kept and froze - it reminds me of the saying - If you don't laugh, you cry. more..

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