The Kitchen Jigit --- a water and sauce proof stereo for all those times you feel like getting jiggy while cooking. The Kitchen Jigit will play your cd’s, burnt disks, or the radio to your hearts content. Call now and you could get this steal of a deal for $99.99…call now and be one of the first hundred callers and we will throw in a box of candles for those unforgettable romantic dinners.
Running Bear Aware --- is a great deterrent for those furry pests who don’t hear joggers running about the lake or in forested areas. This smaller version of a cow bell comes in all kinds of colors to match your running attire. Be sure to take a music player of some sort with you as the bell can get quite irritating after ten minutes or so. But what is irritating when it is your life at stake! Call now…only $5.99. (Running Bear Aware is not to be confused with Running Bare Wear…which is running nude and not recommended by doctors for those men and women well endowed.)
Sneeze Slap Sticky Notes --- These wonderful colorful pages of instructions on proper sneezing etiquette will inform those around you intent on spreading airborne particles to you and your loved ones. Once an offender has breeched protocol, slap one of these on their foreheads, while holding your breath, and they can never again say they were not well informed. The instructions are easy to read and give picture diagrams for those who speak a foreign language. The back page is full of fun facts about sneezing and how viruses are transmitted. (One fun fact: Particles ejected out of a sneezing person can stay airborne for up to 48 hours.) If that doesn’t raise the yuck factor I don’t know what will. So call now for your first pack of 20 and prepare for applause when you make your first Sneeze Slap! Only $9.99 and going fast!
Lazy Susan Hobs --- These wonderful magical creatures are next on the list of must haves. With heights of three feet, they are perfect for any sized cupboard or pantry. They will dispense to you the specific item needed to prepare any meal and will sleep when not in need. They will keep a running tally of the contents of your kitchen and will provide a list on your predetermined shopping day. No more dull inventories for you! Their dietary consumption consists of two bags of Goldfish crackers per week and the occasional Oreo cookie for a job well done. (Please note these Hobs get very cranky when abruptly awakened and will eject tin cans at an alarming rate and accuracy when this occurs. We are not liable for any bruising or broken bones incurred.) $199.99 While supplies last! (Warning do not give any clothing to the Hobs purchased, doing so will break the contract and the Hob will be free to leave your pantry.)
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