The Bucket Has Tipped

The Bucket Has Tipped

A Poem by Kait
"

day 2, and I dont know how to stop.

"

Torrid, serrated nails

hold her heart ajar,

to bleed its’ precious youth

onto the cold ceramic floor.

 

The lustrous, gossamer scent,

trickles past

with titanium glints; drooling as

a craving builds with every ruby that appears.

 

Borrowing tears from the

Blades compulsive edge,

drinking life as it runs down

my shaking, frigid, demonic, crippled hands.

 

Her will shattered and split

The rage and tension

Stretched beneath her skin.

 

She broke free


© 2012 Kait



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I love your vocabulary and the way you present your word. Something that bothered me was your use of apostrophes.

You see, in the English language the word its' does not exist.

http://www.differencebetween.net/language/difference-between-its-and-its/

Other than that, you also wrote "blades' " compulsive edge. The correct spelling is "blade's" compulsive edge because it's one single blade. If it were multiple blades, it would be "blades' compulsive edges".

Your grammar in general is very off in the poem. You capitalize the first letter in every new line, regardless of whether or not the sentence has ended. They're very common mistakes but very silly ones too.

Anyways, it was an interesting read.

Good luck and happy writing!

Cheers!
74/100

Posted 5 Years Ago


Kait

5 Years Ago

I appreciate your review. I never knew how to use apostrophes so I understand your frustration. lol<.. read more
gloomysundays

5 Years Ago

I used to write in all capital letters until someone commented on one of my writings stating that it.. read more

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Added on October 3, 2012
Last Updated on October 10, 2012
Tags: cutting, depression, guilt, grief, loathing

Author

Kait
Kait

New York, NY



About
Manhattanite attending FIT with hopes of a bright, lucrative future as a fashion editor. (2013) Life is about accepting the events that shape your character, and ascending over the obstacles. I'd .. more..

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