An Excerpt From The Mind

 

In the romantic heart lies the mind of a child

Their every action like the rapids runs wild

They walk hand in hand when the fields are in bloom

And share the warm ocean waters of june

 

Strange is the man who just can not find

Peace in his life and a hand that is kind

He will wander bleeding and blind

Not knowing love for his small glimpse of time

 

If lovers gaze at the moon and see what they are to be

Then why when I look do I see only the reflection of me

A question to ponder pensively throughout the night

But my bed will still hold one by tomorrow's morning light

 

Maybe I should take the time to end my pain

I could make it quick one shot through the brain

Surely someday love will find its way to my door

And upon that moment I will forever be lonely no more

 

Author: M.Rose

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems

Reviews

[mooney]

Another great poem trikius.

[Helena]

"In the romantic heart lies the mind of a child

Their every action like the rapids runs wild

They walk hand in hand when the fields are in bloom

And share the warm ocean waters of june"

Well written poem.....enjoyable read. The ending
jolted me though! Good work....Helena

[Charles]

I find it hard to ignore the grammar problems of whatever I read; things like 'a child,,, they' bother me eternally. That's OK though, you want me to ignore the grammar, so I will. I like the flow of the individual stanzas and the way they fit together, especially the 2nd and 3rd stanzas. The somewhat forced rhyming leaves me a bit cold - the thoughts are so nice but aren't done justice by what looks like an artificial construct. If you could smooth these rough spote out or do this in blank verse or free verse, the poem would be more powerful. All in all, a good start on a very good poem.

[Destinee]

this was fantastic, i really enjoyed reading it. awesome job!