Mum & Dad

The story of my parents meeting. Trying out a new style of poetry, not sure i will stick with it!!

Rundown farm and whiskey bottles,

Told the story of dismay,

The young man who dwelt next door,

Tortured in his broken dreams he laid,

Alone but with his bourbon,

There alone and waiting for his day.

Neighbourly and curious she asked his name,

“Don’t you go there and bring us shame”

Her father’s words were harsh and stern,

There was a lesson in those words, but would she learn?

With a flask of Elder she took a wander,

Past piles of whiskey bottles left over yonder.

Wistful thoughts filled her mind,

Not thinking she might end up in a bind,

“Well Hello fair maiden” echo rolled,

She turned to face the most handsome soul,

Nervously she looked about not heeding the warning,

She offered Elder syrup and talked into morning.

Months of clandestine meetings concluded,

They no longer cared for the unaware and deluded,

The love that blossomed from the lonesome pair,

Reached into their souls and put paid to their cares,

They plotted they planned to understand,

How on earth they would escape this desolate land.

Clasped in each others hands they bounded the lane,

Glancing backward they saw the wrath that came,

Two barrels of her father’s gun,

Staring them down in anger and flame,

Eloping entangled in each others breath,

Four children went on to lay on their chests,

They remained united until together they passed,

But not before life had set them in their romantic cast.

Author's Note

Revisiting this one...

Reviews

[Laughing-Bear]

My Dearest Writing Friend From Across The Pond,
I found this poem very moving, it reminded me of a similar story line of a man I went through high school with. Will to protect his privacy by calling him Bob.
Bob was a hardcore drunk, most did not like him. Bets were on that he would not reach the ripe old age of twenty-five. He was as close to being a looser in the eyes of the world as one can be.
Then Bob met a girl, will call her Sue. She was a nice girl from a nice family. Bob wanted Sue, but she said not tell you give up the drink. He quit that day, hasn’t had a drink in well over thirty years.
They eloped, raised a family, and built a company that now employs locals. Bob told me at a class reunion that he owes his life to his best friend. As she saw what others could not see. She gave him a hope, a dream, love, and acceptance. She is his saving angel to this very day.
Thus your beautiful poem was a delight, I see that your mum saw a broken toy, a broken toy that had worth. And because she had eyes to really see and ears to really hear what is not seen or heard by most, you were born. And thus I am a blessed man due to your friendship. I am really glad the eloped, if they had not I would of missed out on knowing one of Heavens little Angels.
I had to look up the word “clandestine”, as I had a different notion of its meaning. An excellent word that helped bring spice to this write, well done. Its definition is posted below.

Blessings, Your BillBear

clandestine |klanˈdestən; -ˌtīn; -ˌtēn; ˈklandəs-|
adjective
kept secret or done secretively, esp. because illicit : she deserved better than these clandestine meetings. See note at secret .
DERIVATIVES
clandestinely |klønˈdɛstənli| |ˈkløndəsˈtinli| adverb
clandestinity |ˌklandesˈtinitē| |ˈkløndɛsˈtɪn1di| |-ˈtɪnɪti| noun
ORIGIN mid 16th cent.: from French clandestin or Latin clandestinus, from clam ‘secretly.’

[TrimarcoRansome]

Dear Billbear, Thank you for your words, this is the essence of a longer story of their meeting which I will put into a book one day with the rest of my Mothers memoirs. She gave me the insight to see people for not what we see on the surface but what we believe to be good underneath. All people are born a blank canvass, it is others spilt paints which create the painting they appear to be. Fundamentally all people have good in them, sometimes we just need to scratch the surface.
Yours
Helen

[jacob erin-cilberto]

prosy poetry about a not so rosy beginning...a few shotgun blasts and a bit of run and gun vows...

but it lasted...no matter how it started...and in its own way, it is romantic as all get out.

love the story...

you captured my attention and held it throughout...with your colorful language.

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you, I am glad you enjoyed it. It is so much easier to write about true life, i find the imagery much easier to portray when it is already there in your thoughts

[poetdoug]

What a colorful and creative way to honor the romance of your parents. I love it. (new form too).

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you, it was a tale worth telling!

[Tate Morgan]

Congratulations on your award in my contest. It is through these trials of life that we see the wheat separated from the chaff.

[TrimarcoRansome]

Ohhhh I'm so excited!!! Thank you so much!

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

For a style you aren't used to, you executed this well. This was an engaging piece.

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it

[Great Aunt Astri]

Reads like a ballad. I would have enjoyed a few more verses!

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you! There is more which will be a story so not for publishing here.

[Ken Simm.]

What a superb story. All the more for being true. And uplifting to the nth degree. Love conquers. It does doesn't it.

[TrimarcoRansome]

It sure does, Ken. I love this story and will be a longer/ novel when i have finished the series I am writing at the moment, worthy of pen time indeed! Thank you for reviewing.

[Sue]

I like poetry based on people's lives and this is no exception, beautiful lines ' eloping entangled in each other's breath'....shows a love of language :)

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you for stopping by to review my work and yes I totally agree with stories from life are far more interesting than fiction

[David Lewis Paget]

Why is it that parents always think they know best when it comes to partners for their offspring? That mindset is still very much prevalent in China, where the mothers often pick the husbands for their daughters, and they dare not refuse. I like the above. It's a simple tale of simple and basic feelings and responses, a determination to be together. The fact that they stayed together proved them right. Your rhythm is loose, but for some reason seems to suit the subject matter. Kudos.

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you very much! As you know this is not my usual style of poetry, so something to work on, thank you for casting your expert eye! Much appreciated.

[Tate Morgan]

I found this to be surreal and beautiful. In this we see the ability to conquer all in the face of love

[TrimarcoRansome]

Thank you Tate, the essence of love!! I am glad I wrote it but still unsure of the style