the reason i dont drink caffeine before bed when i need sleep

the reason i dont drink caffeine before bed when i need sleep

A Story by Aislinn Gryffin ((Ashes))

*the Black Panther theme song fades in, getting louder and louder*

*little girl's voice starts in*

"BU-DUM, BU-DUM, BU-DUM-BU-DUM-BA-DUM-BA-DUM-BA-DUM-BA-DUUUUMMM"

*different, older girl's voice*

"oh. my. GOD. shut UP!!!"

"make me. BU-DUM, BU-DUM, BU-DUM-BU-DUM-BA-DUM-BA-DUM-BA-DUM-BA-DUUUUMMM"

"okay. your wish is my command"

*crash, music stops*

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

*stops for breath*

((other girl:)) "OW, MY--"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

*stops for breath*

((other girl:)) "STOP SCREAMI--"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

*stops for breath*

"AAAAAAAHHH--"

*wheeze, cough, wheeze, thud*

*silence*

"ummm...you okay???"

*silence*

"hmmm...guess not. oh well. at least now i can sleep"

*silence...deep breathing*

"...AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"GAHHHHHH!!!!"

*both stop screaming*

"WHAT. THE. FREAK. IS. YOUR. PROBLEM!?!?!?"

"You killed the song."

*silence*

"...so???"

"so you killed it. you are a meanie-poophead."

"ooo-kay then."

*silence*

"Can i have a cupcake???"

"no"

"But WHY???"

"Cuz you called me a meanie-poophead."

"But it wasn't my fault...the evil-flutterby-of-name-calling made me do it!!!"

"...the evil flutterby of name-calling???"

"Yes."

"Riiiiiight. sure."

*silence*

"so can i have a cupcake now???"

"...NO!!!"

"But why???"

"Because you are a butt-muncher"

*gasp*"YOU CALLED ME A NAME!!!"

"It was the evil flutterbutt of name calling."

"...you mean 'flutterby'???"

"that's what i said"

"no, you said 'flutterbutt'"

"...you're a flutterbutt!!!"

"what's a flutterbutt???"

"HOW THE HECK SHOULD I KNOW?!?!?!"

"...sand sparkles."

"what the frea--"

"So does Edward Cullen."

"Rando--"

"he's white and cold and sparkly"

"...???"

"Maybe it's Maybelline."

"...probably."

"no. that's not it..."

*silence*

*sing-song voice* "Edward Cullen's an ICE CREAM CAKE"

"you are INSANE"

"No, i'm not."

"Yes, you are"

 

"No, i'm not. I'm a platypus. Can i have some ramen???"

"A platy--why do you want ramen at 2AM???"

"'cuz i love ice cream cake."

"HUH??? that makes no sense!!!"

"neither do clown cars."

"what does that have to do wi--"

"can i have a cupcake???"

"NO!!! NO CUPCAKES"

"Fine. then i will call my bestest-ful friend and he will get you!!!"

"...your bestest-ful friend..."

"yes. the eater of socks."

"...The what???"

*speaks slowly* "The...Eeeee-terrrrr...uuuuuvvvvvvv....ssssoooooooookkkkkkkkxxxxx."

"...riiiiight. i suppose he's married to the evil-flutterby-of-name-calling."

"no. he's gay."

"...!!!"

"the evil-flutterby-of-name-calling is married to the Wart Knome..."

"...the wart knome???"

"mmm-hmmm..."

"Where did you learn about all this???"

"the voices in my head told me..."

"...okay, so you are a voice in somebody's head...and YOU have voices in YOUR head?!?!?!"

"Yeah...so???"

"So...that's pretty screwed up."

"giraffe and monkeys can be vampires too..."

"Huh??? What have you been smoki--"

"knock knock!!!"

"who's...there???"

"inturrupting cow."

"inturrupting...cow wh--"

"MOO!!!" *laughs*

"..."

"knock knock."

"who's there???"

"inturupting whale"

"inturrupting whale wh--"

"hhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..." *laughs*

"...???"

*silence*

*little girl randomly laughs...*

*gasps for breath*

"What's so fu--"

*starts laughing again*

*gasps for breath*

"What is wrong wi--"

*starts laughing again*

*stops laughing and catches breath*

"..are you quite finished???"

"A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go do-own..."

"you. are. INSANE."

"So are you"

"nuh-huh"

"yeah-huh"

 

"How am i insane???"

"well, we are both voices in somebody's head so that makes us both--"

*woosh of cloak and shhhhhh noise like it's dragging on the floor*

*shhhhhhhh noise stops and there is complete silence*

"..."

"..."

"ARE YOU ALISHA ANDERS???"

((both girls)): No...

"WELL, THEN I AM TERRIBLY SORRY I DISTURBED YOU. HAPPY HOGSWATCH."

((younger girl:))"i wish she'd stop reading Terry Pratchett's Discworld Series so Death would stop going through here.

"no kidding."

*silence*

"dam dadi do, dam dam di--"

"OH. MY. GOD. NOOOOO!!!!"

"dam dadi do--"

"AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!"

*thud*

*muffled voices and cries of pain*

*silence*

"hey, look..."

"ITS MORNING!!! BREAKFAST TIME!!! i'll have a cupcake!!!"

"No you won't, you cant have cupcakes for breakfast..."

 

THE END!!!

 

"nuh-huh"

"yeah-huh"

"nuh-huh"

"yeah-huh"

"nuh-huh"

"yeah-huh"

"nuh-huh"

"yeah-huh"

"nuh-huh"

"yeah-huh"

"No, i'm not."

"Yes, you are"

"No, i'm not."

"Yes, you are"

"No, i'm not."

"Yes, you are"

© 2009 Aislinn Gryffin ((Ashes))


Author's Note

Aislinn Gryffin ((Ashes))
This is why i dont drink caffeine before bed if i want to sleep well...

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Reviews

the voices in my head go CRAZY sometimes, i swear!!!

Posted 14 Years Ago


wow. i like this. too funny

Posted 14 Years Ago


Haha I loved it. Sure, it will probably never be published, and it was all dialouge, but it was hilarious! Especially the voices and the interupting cow/whale. It brought back my own sleepover memories. Great!

Posted 14 Years Ago


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Jae
OMG THATS EPICLY OOBERLY FANTASTICALY AWSOMEFULLY AWSOMFULL AWSOMENESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( and i know where you got alot of that but shhhh i wont tell) lol

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

lol, this was EPIC!
itmaybecrazybutiloveit. :]

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

definitelynotagoodideaaretheyCTsbangbangzomghaxorwhyamisayingthis!?

I sympathise.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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6 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on June 19, 2009
Last Updated on July 10, 2009


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