Would you Mind

Potential love requires this question if it is to be your last love.

Would you mind if we fell in love and it lasted all day
When we saw the sunshine at the same time just that once
When the awkward evening swallowed our play
As the cat let the mouse go free for tomorrows she hunts
Heard words tearing at our tears as we drift in hearts
Floating the surfaces of two rivers' crest
The one you see is not mine and so it starts
As we rose with clouds in our eyes; looked east slid west
Together in our solitude as we quit;
Remembering what love was we toke alone
With almonds and walnuts alive uh in our spit
Where the pit once grilled deer meat lovely to the bone?
Would you mind if we fell in love and it lasted all day
As we walk to the grave and leave that race to slip away.

Reviews

[Blue]

"Would you mind if we fell in love and it lasted all day
As we walk to the grave and leave that race to slip away."

Breathlessly beautiful lines. You write sonnets very well, UC.

[UC Poika]

Thank you so much Blue. I really love it when people care enough to let me know.

[paddy d daly]

to fall in love for one day, would that be better than to have never fallen in love at all, goes back to the old shakespere line better to...... you know what im saying, like what you have penned.

[UC Poika]

The difference is the day is not 24 hours and they die at the end of it. Note the last line.

[UC Poika]

It seems we have two poems in one here to, the one you see is like her not seeing the same river he sees when there was only one to look at or the words "tearing at our tears" there are three ways to read it. I am curious what is your take on which one is best? Do I mean all three?