Musings #03

Musings #03

A Poem by Blackheart
"

Short instances, when there is a fleeting thought in my chaotic mind which I believe signifies something and I decide to pen it down.

"
Deep in the woods.
Underneath mighty trees.
Amidst the fog and foliage.
A messenger breathed his last.
A scroll attached to its claws.
The message was sent.

Miles apart,
Two lives went into limbo.

© 2016 Blackheart


Author's Note

Blackheart
Reviews and opinions are always welcome.

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Featured Review

Mmh.. I actually had to look up the meaning of 'to go limbo', as I wasn't familiar with that expression. I've tried to figure out the meaning of this piece, but I don't think I've succeeded in doing so so far. Maybe you can help me a little bit? Excuse me, I'm not really good at finding the meaning of a piece, shame on me..
Anyway, with that said, the atmosphere of this piece is really dark and captivating. Deep in the woods, underneath the mighty trees.. These lines perfectly describe the atmosphere. Sometimes you've just got to let your hands do the writing instead of your head. The brain is not really an expert at penning down feelings. This piece was a wonderful creation of just your hands :)
One tiny error you made:
- "A scroll attached to it's claws": I believe it should be 'its' here instead of 'it's'. I always have trouble determining whether it should be written with an apostrophe or not, but I believe in this case it should be 'its'.
Besides that, great, short poem :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Blackheart

8 Years Ago

But we create our own fate. So it implies that we have to know that ourselves. Right? :)
Mister T.

8 Years Ago

Haha, I see what you mean. But in my opinion, fate is an omniscient Oracle. Yes, on the one hand we .. read more
Blackheart

8 Years Ago

Indeed. I get what you're trying to say here. :)



Reviews

Oh no! You have a knack for eliciting emotion from readers with short orders of words. You use your gift well!

Amidst the fog and foliage...you really conjure a sense of lost and abandoned here and the hopelessness of the bird. So good! W O W !

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Blackheart

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much Zyle. And yes, this wasjust like the rest of my musings where I tried to portray s.. read more
Zyle Christian William Cook

8 Years Ago

You're most very welcome!
Short and expressive! You certainly know how to get the readers to think! :)
And this poem was great too.. Sad, but great ;)
I assume 'two lives' here meant two lovers ?
Messages being sent from one not reaching the other and the disappointment !

Great write brother! :) Keep Writing!
Was kinda hard to understand 'cuz my style writing is different from yours! :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Blackheart

8 Years Ago

You understood this quite well my friend.
Glad you liked this.

And yes, my the.. read more
Aswin R Prasad

8 Years Ago

I sure did enjoy this one! And i love it when i as a reader have to think ;)
Your welcome! :).. read more
This must happen, have happened...the letter that never gets delivered...
the sender, forever, wonders why there is no reply
The receiver, forever, waiting or not knowing.
Deeply sad, fateful words
Very good

Posted 8 Years Ago


Blackheart

8 Years Ago

And they linger in limbo. :)
Thank you for your golden words. And yes, it's indeed sad. But t.. read more
Mmh.. I actually had to look up the meaning of 'to go limbo', as I wasn't familiar with that expression. I've tried to figure out the meaning of this piece, but I don't think I've succeeded in doing so so far. Maybe you can help me a little bit? Excuse me, I'm not really good at finding the meaning of a piece, shame on me..
Anyway, with that said, the atmosphere of this piece is really dark and captivating. Deep in the woods, underneath the mighty trees.. These lines perfectly describe the atmosphere. Sometimes you've just got to let your hands do the writing instead of your head. The brain is not really an expert at penning down feelings. This piece was a wonderful creation of just your hands :)
One tiny error you made:
- "A scroll attached to it's claws": I believe it should be 'its' here instead of 'it's'. I always have trouble determining whether it should be written with an apostrophe or not, but I believe in this case it should be 'its'.
Besides that, great, short poem :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Blackheart

8 Years Ago

But we create our own fate. So it implies that we have to know that ourselves. Right? :)
Mister T.

8 Years Ago

Haha, I see what you mean. But in my opinion, fate is an omniscient Oracle. Yes, on the one hand we .. read more
Blackheart

8 Years Ago

Indeed. I get what you're trying to say here. :)
Oh... This is one of your beautiful poems! It's short and captivating. I wonder just what happened to the other. I love the scenery and as well as the melancholic and somber atmosphere you created. Thanks a lot for sharing this one. :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Blackheart

8 Years Ago

Glad you liked it. :)
TheMalady

8 Years Ago

You're very welcome! :)
The poem has such a wonderful atmosphere of mystery, in its imagery of deep woods, fog, a message sent but the messenger dying. And then the two lives going into limbo, perhaps because of the message?

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Solar

8 Years Ago

yes foliage adds to the setting - also the use of foliage adds to the sense of covering the message/.. read more
Blackheart

8 Years Ago

Yes, I realised the same after reading the piece a few more times and I thought, this word might do .. read more
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6 Reviews
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Added on January 27, 2016
Last Updated on January 29, 2016
Tags: poetry, death, loss, love

Author

Blackheart
Blackheart

Tezpur, India



About
Trying to understand the meaning of life and everything around by using words and creating something unique out of them. A heavy metal fan. Quite weird. Ambivert. Read/follow my blog at WordPress: .. more..

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