Kidnap Victim

CHAPTER ONE

I'm running. I can't see, but I know where to go. My bare feet slap at the concrete floor, and I squash something furry and small. The blood sticks to my foot, making a worse sound. Shirk-plat, Shirk-plat! Some-one is going to hear that, I'm going to be caught. My heart almost explodes with each pump and my lungs are ready to call it quits. But I can't stop. It's now or never, my older sister left last week and she made it out. She told me she was going to come back for me, but she hasn't. Our Father, who we are never allowed to look in the eye, punished all six of us for Lacy making it out. He withheld food from us, making us beg. The youngest, Frank (who is six but looks much younger.) complained to me, now that I was the oldest. He asked why Father cared so much, He still had the six of us to bully and hit and abuse at his whim. I didn't know how to explain to him that, now that Lacy was gone, we could be found out. I'm not sure CPS would be too thrilled to know that Father has kept a bunch of children in his basement for years. I'm sure the headlines would have a field-day with that one;Serial Kidnapper keeps children in basement for over two decades!! 

He is nobody's Father here, yet that is what we call him. He demands respect from us and it sucks. I've been down here since I was five, I can't even remember my family. That was seven years ago, the day I was stolen. I was walking down the road, trying to find the Ice Cream Truck. I had heard the music and ran outside as fast as I could, looking up and down the street. My parents were out and the babysitter was smoking pot upstairs with my older brother Dennis. There was a bright blue Impala sitting down the road, with it's window rolled down. A man looked at me, his brown eyes friendly. He had sandy blonde hair that was thinning and he had a high, clear forehead. "Hey son, what you looking for?" He asked me.

I stopped running and stood in front of him, my thumb going into my mouth, a bad habit. My parents had never given me the 'Don't talk to Strangers' speech before, so I wasn't sure what to do. My manners ended up winning. "Ice cream sir."

The man smiled. "If you hop in the back, I can give ya a ride." He said, gesturing towards the back of his car.

I gripped the sweaty dollar bill in my hand. "Where we gonna go?'' I asked, hopping in the back.

He turned to look at me, the friendly look gone. The doors locked and that's when I knew that I was screwed. "Lemme out mister." I ordered, my voice sounding really small.....

 

I can't think of that right now. I've got to keep going. I've made it past the basement, now I'm in Father's actual house. I think I'm in the living room, it's filled with expensive objects. I guess selling children makes a lot of money. I'm moving slower now, running would make too much noise. But still, I cannot get enough air. It's like I'm trapped in my skin, suffocating under my flesh. This must be how fatties feel all the time. I'm walking really slow, wondering what time it is. Since Lacy escaped, Father has been making it a habit to check up on us during the middle of the night. When he realizes I'm gone, I wonder what will become of the other's? I'm sure he will either sell them or kill them, a mercy to the small ones down there. My Tourette's goes off and my arm jerks, almost hitting an intricately designed vase. I freeze, sure that this is the end. Nothing happens, the air remains still and peaceful, and I can almost breathe again. Almost. I keep walking,my bloodied foot sticking less and less to the hardwood floor. My eyes go to the big, blue book on the table. I pick it up, despite how I'm on a time budget, and leaf through it. I'm disgusted at what I see;There are hundreds of pictures. Pictures of all the children he has kidnapped, some with clothes on and some with clothes off, all of them caught in a moment of panic forever.  Halfway through the book I find Lacy, when she was much younger. In the picture she looks about nine or ten. She's got a cute, pixie like haircut, her bright red hair reaching her jaw. Her eyes,large and blue and tear-filled, look terrified. She's got a cut on her bare shoulder, and in the picture, she's holding her hands out as if begging. I rip out the picture and stuff it in my back pocket, I'll find a place to burn it later. I keep flipping through and find a picture of when I first came here. I'm shivering in the picture, crouched down, embarrassed that Father had made me naked. My eyes, which are a bright, bright brown, were looking at the floor. My hair, which was short and a light blonde then (Now it grows down to my shoulders and has turned into a dark brown.), was sticking up crazily. I think I had just tried running away from Father before the picture was taken. I rip that one out too, why should that beast be allowed to look at these pictures? At the end of the book I find something that almost makes me cry out. It's a picture of Lacy recently, must have been taken a week before she left. In the picture she is standing, her stomach bleeding from a very large cut, and her eyes are wild with fright. She is trying to cover herself up with her hands, but its a useless effort. There is a man laying down in the bed, he is large and has wild amounts of chest hair. I can see a tuft of pubic hair on the man and feel a wave of sympathy for Lacy, for Christs sake, the poor girl is only fourteen! I shut the book and stuff it under my shirt, I must show the police this. 

Footsteps pound down the stairs and I duck, hiding under the couch. I can hear Father, breathing heavily, as he makes his way towards the basement. He used to be skinny and strong, but lately he had been adding pounds, becoming soft. The book's hard edges press into my ribs,I can hear Father downstairs. He is yelling at one of the kids. "Well, one of you is missing! Do I have to start locking you all up to the poles at night?!"

I scoot out from under my hiding spot, adrenaline coursing through me. Now or Never. I sprint to the door, fling it open and I'm gone. I'm flying down the porch steps, down the street, away. I run until my legs give out and I fall down. I'm sitting in a field, cold and sore and out of breath, but HAPPY. I hope Lacy feels the same....

"Hey kid. You're new here, right?" The girl, Lacy, asked me.

I kept my back against the wall,my eyes looking for a place to go. I'd been here for almost three days now and most of the other kids ignored me or teased me. Finally I nodded. Laci nodded back, smiling. She handed me a piece of her food, which I took gratefully. Father only gave the smallest amounts of foods. She sat down next to me, seeming to laugh at the way I ate. "I'm Lacy by the way. I'm seven, I've been here for almost three years now. Do you know what Father is?" She asked me, toying with her fingers.

"A bad man?" I answered, not sure if I was right.

Lacy laughed and slapped me on the back. "Yeah, he's a bad man all right. But you know what he does for a living? He sells kids like you and me, that's why he's got so many down here. Most only stay for a week or two, then they get sold to child rapers." She said.

I cocked my head at her. "Child rapers?" I asked.

Lacy nodded,her small face serious. "Those guys take kids and kill them, you hear about it on the news everyday."

I frowned and wanted to pee myself, I almost did too. Laci saw the look on my face. "It's okay kid. Like I said, I've been here for three years. If Father likes you, then he'll keep you until he's done with you. And I can tell, Father likes you."She said.

I wiped away a tear that had escaped. "He does?"

Lacy nodded. "Yeah he does. And, from now on, you and I will be brother and sister, okay? We'll take care of each other."

I nodded, eager to have a companion in this scary new world, full of child rapers and a man like Father and children who were sold like livestock daily.....

I wake up in the field, for a second forgetting the night before. I'm afraid that Father has decided to sell me after all. Then, the realities of yesterday sink in and I relax marginally. I get up and the book falls out of my shirt. I stare at it for at least five minutes, trying to decide what to do next. If I go the police, it would all be over quickly. They would search the house, free the kids, put Father in prison, and I would get to reconnect with my family. But, it's been seven years, so much has probably changed. What if my family moved? What if mama or dad has died? Then where would I be? I'd be slammed into foster care, and who know then. Maybe I'd end up with a foster parent like Father and my escape would have been for nothing. So now I'm not sure what to do. Then there's Lacy. Where is she? How do I find her? She said that once she got out, she was going to go straight to the police, but that seemed to have failed. I want to find her before I do anything. She has been my rock for the past seven years, in my head she symbolizes my best friend, my wife, my mother, my everything. I know it sounds crazy, delusional even, but nobody knows what it's like to be treated as nothing but a price tag. She was and still is my lifeboat,and I need her help right now more than anything. I get up and walk out of the field and towards the main street, thinking of how I'm going to find Lacy. She couldn't have gone very far in a week.....

"So, what are we supposed to do all day?" I asked Lacy, after being shut in the basement for nearly a month.

Lacy shrugged and gestured widely to all the other kids, most of them were huddled in small groups, but a few seemed to be playing games. "Whatever you want I guess. But when you hear Father, you gotta hush up and stand against the wall, in case he has a customer."She answered.

I nodded, I knew what she was talking about. Last week Father brought a tall, sick looking man down to look at us. The man had sores all around his mouth and his hair was thin, short and greasy. He looked at each of us with red teary eyes and finally picked a young girl no more than five years old. She was scrawny, with light brown hair and beady blue eyes. The man handed Father a wad of cash, then picked up the girl and left. We heard the girl shout and fight and we heard the man shout, "The little brat bit me!"

Lacy looked down at me, a gleam in her eye. "You wanna play a game?" She asked.

I nodded eagerly, anything to get my mind off of living here. Everyday all I thought about was being livestock. That's all we were, I thought, nobody cares about us anymore. "We can race up and down the basement." She said, taking off.

I took off after her, laughing all the way, I had forgotten about the quiet rule. Father came barreling down the stairs and caught the two of us by our shirt collars. "What are you two doing?!" He roared.

I cringed and tried to squirm away,Lacy started crying. Father got in both our faces. "I told all of you to be quiet! That means no running around, no laughing, no loud noises at all!" He screamed.

I started nodding, showing that I understood. He set us down after a moment. "You two are lucky I don't whup you right now. Consider this a warning." He growled, before heading up the stairs.

Lacy wiped away her tears. "I'm sorry Keith." She mumbled.

I hugged her and told her it was okay. "Hey, wanna play house?" She asked, changing the subject.

I nodded again. She walked over to a deserted part of the basement. "We gotta be married first though. So, Keith, will you be my husband?" She asked me.

I smiled and nodded. "Lacy, will you be my wife?" I asked.

She said yes and then she said that every newlywed had to kiss, her daddy had told her that before Father had bought her. So i pecked her cheek. "Your daddy sold you?" I asked, scared that parents could do that.....

CHAPTER TWO

The place that I've decided to stop by first is the police station. I'm just going to drop off the book, anonymous of course. When I walk in, the man I see at the front desk makes my blood run cold, it's the man from the picture! The picture of Lacy naked, looking hurt and ashamed... "Can I help you kiddo?" The man asks.

I shake my head, tears blurring my vision. This man is a cop, yet he let the children, let me, let Lacy, live in squander and let us be tortured sexually, physically and mentally. How many other dirty cops were here? I grip the book tighter and walk out, unsure of what to do now. In my hands I hold enough evidence to destroy Father's world. Yet, I can't give it to anybody! I keep walking down the road, maybe I'll leave a note in it and drop it somewhere public. Yet what would the note say? 'Hey, this book is full of pictures of kidnapped children. But I couldn't turn it into the police because at least one of them knows about it and in fact deal in it.'?  I don't think anybody would buy that. Plus, one of Father's customers might pick it up and hand it to Father. I decide to turn it into the police after all, what does it matter? I'm free and I'm not going to carry this around with me forever. I go back in and walk past the front desk with the pervert cop. "Can you help me?" I ask a pretty lady cop.

She nods and smiles. "Come into my office. I'm sure I can help you Sport." She says, waving me into a small room.

I take a seat and drop the book on the table. She picks it up. "What is this?" She asks, her voice growing colder with every flip of the page.

I bury my face in my hands but the tears still flow. "Evidence. There is a man in town that has been keeping kids for years. He sells them. I'm one of those kids, my sister Lacy and I escaped. He keeps us in his basement." I sobbed.

The lady puts the book down and her arm around me, letting me cry out seven years of anguish. When I dry my eyes, she has a small smile and a tissue for me. "I'm going to have to ask you a few things, okay hon?" She asks.

I nod, then remember. "The man at the front desk. He's in one of these pictures." I say, and fish out the picture from my back pocket.

Her face loses it's color completely. "I'll be right back."She says, and almost runs out of the room. I'm left to sit and think, I've been doing too much of that lately. There's a bookshelf behind me and I start to rifle through the books. One of them has the title 'Don't Go,' By a person named Penn Scott. I start to skim through it, it's about a teenage couple that run away together. I sit back down and start reading, relaxing little by little. 

The police lady comes back in and my arm jerks by itself, one of my motor tics. She notices this and smiles at me. "It's okay, honey. You can read that." She says, sitting across from me.

I shake my head. "No, no I wasn't scared or nothing. I got Tourette's." I tell her, sounding proud.After all, that was one of the reasons Father liked me so much. He said I was a bit of an oddity.

The lady writes something down on a yellow legal pad. She smiles warmly at me, showing her small, perfect teeth. "Okay, my name is Ms. Rossetti, but you can call me Jan. Okay?" 

I nod and smile back, but I bet my teeth don't look nearly as well as hers. "I'm Keith. I don't really remember my last name, but you can call me whatever." I tell her, I meant it as a joke.

A look passes underneath her calm facade, something like sorrow and horror I think. "Well, Keith, I'm sure you're eager to go home to your family, but there's a lot of things that we have to ask you. Can you answer them?" She speaks slowly.

I nod, but my stomach grumbles. "Um, may I ask you something?" I ask.

Ms. Rossetti nods, her smile stretching over her tan face, I think it's forced. "May I have something to eat, please? I'm really hungry." 

She laughs and nods. "Of course you can." She calls in a small man with an overbite and tells him to get me two big macs with all the works. And fries, and chicken nuggets, with a large pop. Wow, it's like a Thanksgiving feast. While we're waiting, Ms. Rossetti says I can keep reading. I'm halfway through the book (The part where Maddox and Cora run into Sandy, the low-down police officer.) when the small man comes back. He drops the food off on the desk and leaves. It smells so good, I'm not sure how to describe it. I guess, picture no eating for a whole day but having a craving for potato chips or whatever your favorite food is. Then picture someone else eating it in front of you, imagine the way it smells, the way you can ALMOST taste it on your tongue. I rip into the burger, filling my mouth with it. I absentmindedly wipe away ketchup and mustard off my face and keep going. Ms. Rossetti watches calmly,eating her own burger. She tells me to slow down after I've eaten all the fries and am about to eat my nuggets. 

After all the food is gone and my pop is almost halfway gone, she says its time to get serious. I lose my smile and nod, staring back at her. She sets her hands down on the desk, prayer style, and leans down, so our faces are level to each other. "Okay, how long have you been down there?" She asks.

I lick the salt off my fingers. "For around seven years. Father took me when I was five, from my neighborhood. But he's been doing this for longer. Lacy was there for three years before me." I tell her.

Ms. Rossetti scribbles something down and looks at me. "Oh, I see. Your father took you?" She asks.

I frown and shake my head. "Nu-uh. He told us to call him Father. Nobody knows his real name."

She nods, and a light gleams in her eyes. "Do you remember where you lived,before?" She asks.

I nod, my parents had pounded all that information in my head, in case (ha-ha) I had been kidnapped. "1198 Blueberry drive. My number is 435-555-5555." I recite.

The lady hurries and scribbles that down to. Then she calls the number. "Damn! Number's been disconnected. You know your parent's name, kiddo?" She asks, disappointed.

I start to shake my head and then remember. "My mama's name is Evelyn and my daddy's name is....is....Bill, I think." I say, unsure.

She writes this down then looks at me again. "I've got one more question for tonight. Okay?" She asks.

I nod, my eyes starting to droop, it's been a long day. "Do you know where this Lacy is now?" She asks me.

My eyes well up with tears, "NO."

Ms. Rossetti frowns and lets me cry. Then she leads me to a small room with a cot made up for me. She lets me keep ''Don't Go'' and says I can read myself to sleep. I read to the last page, wondering why in the hell Cora would be sad over him, when my mind goes to my family, and what I remember of them..........

"Keith! Get down here!" My mom shouted. 

I ran down the stairs, my chubby legs tripping over themselves. My mother, who is a forbiddingly  pretty lady, with short blonde hair and piercing blue eyes, stood at the bottom, her hands on her hips. "What, mamma?" I asked, my three year old voice sounding impossibly small.

Mom looked angry, angry to the point where she was almost crying. "Keith, do you know where your brother's game-boy is? He's been looking for it all morning."

I shook my head and put my thumb in my mouth. "Keith William Yoas, are you lying to me?" My mom asked.

I sighed and nodded, Dennis' game-boy was in my room, I hid there after he took away my legos when we were fighting. Mom went upstairs and found his game, she went into his room, dragging me behind her. I was crying pretty harshly. "Tell Dennis you're sorry." She said.

I mumbled an apology. Dennis, who was six years older than me, sighed and frowned. "Whatever. Reject." He ushered us both out of his room.

My mom gave me a hell of a spanking and then sent me to my room for time-out....

I awake from my dream with a start, I'm dripping with sweat. I hurry and run to the the door, but it's locked from the outside. I rummage through the drawer nearby, looking for something to write with. At last I find a golf pencil, and scribble my name on the inside of "Don't Go." Keith Yoas. Keith Yoas. Wow, I have a name. I have a name! I lay back down on my cot, too keyed up to go back to sleep. Maybe now the police can find my parents. I prop myself up by my elbows and start to reread "Don't Go" until my eyes hurt and I can finally sleep.

The next morning Ms. Rossetti wakes me up. She has a hopeful look on her face. I hand her the book. "I figured out my name!!!!" I shout.

She tilts her head at me politely, waiting for me to continue. I tell her about my dream and then I tell her my name."Keith Yoas." She says, testing it out.

I grin and she hugs me. "We found you a place to stay until we find your parents. Okay, Keith?" Ms. Rossetti sounds happy,really happy.

"Did you find Father yet?" I ask her.

Her face sort of droops, but she quickly smiles again. "No. Not yet, but we will kiddo."

CHAPTER THREE

The house Ms. Rossetti drives me to, is small but cozy looking. Ms. Rossetti tells me that the parents here are foster parents, and that there are other kids here too, who aren't going to stay forever. She says right now that there is one girl and one boy staying, she doesn't know why they are there, not for the same reason I am though. The woman who answers the door is petite, with a small nose and pretty lips. She has light brown hair and big, brown eyes. Right now she is wearing a summer dress. She catches me staring at her at smiles, I duck my head, shy. "Hey Barbra, this is the young man I was telling you about yesterday."Ms. Rossetti says.

The woman, who says I should call her Mom or Deena, crouches down. "Hey there, you're Keith, right? You're a brave young man." She says, taking my hand.

Ms. Rossetti leaves me there, and Deena shows me my room. I'm sharing a room with boy close to my age, his name is Keenan. Deena has a lot of hand me down clothes for me, from other boys who have been here. She tells me that I can do whatever I please, as I long as I tell her if I go anywhere. I ask her who the girl is that lives here and she sort of shrugs. "She came to us the other day, said she was a runaway. Says her name is Lacy."

My heart stops and I feel my throat close up. "Luh-Lacy?" I choke out.

Deena nods, confused. I race out of my room and into the girl's room across the hall. I shove the door open and see Lacy sitting on her bed, crying. "Lacy!!" I shout and bounce onto the bed.

She looks shocked to see me and then fresh tears fall down her face. "Oh, Keith! I thought I'd never see you again!" We hug each other and we're both crying. 

"Why didnt you call the police?" I ask her after we are done hugging.

Her eyes wont meet mine, I've only seen her look that way once before....

We were hiding from Father, thinking of ways to escape together. "I think Father is going to sell me soon. He is showing me to his friends." Lacy said.

I nodded, trying to be brave. We knew this would happen someday. She hugged me tight to her. "Can I tell you something, Keith?''She asked.

I nodded again, curious. Lacy could tell me anything, why would she have to ask? Lacy buried her face into her knees, unable to look at me. "When Father brings in his customers, he has me do stuff with them."She mumbled

Oh, my mind raced with what 'stuff' meant. "What does stuff mean, Lacy?" I asked.

She gave me that look, where she wouldn't meet my eyes, there was a shifty look in them, like she had done something bad. "Like, gross things. Like things adults do when lights go off." She whispered.

I held her hand, trying to comfort her. "Well, you're not an adult?" I said, still not fully understanding.

She ripped her hand out of mine, clearly mad and hurt, though I didnt understand why. "No duh, Twitch. But that doesn't mean they make me stop. They just laugh and tell me to keep going."

I frowned at her, she knew I hated to be called Twitch or anything that reminded me I was different. "I still don't know what you mean by stuff, Lacy. Just say you can't do it." I suggested.

Lacy buried her face in her hands. "I try. But they say that most girls have lost their virginity at thirteen, and I'm fifteen now so..." She shrugged, showing a lifelessness that scared me very much.

"You have to go tonight. Lacy, I don't care if we go together or not, I'll find a way on my own. But you got to go, okay?" I said, desperate to see the life in her eyes again.

She nodded. "I'll tell the police about you. They'll come get you and the other kids, I promise." She whispered.............

"So, why didn't you?" I ask again, hating the way I sounded, like a small and whiny child.

Lacy shakes her head, "I couldn't. When I saw who was at the police's front desk, I panicked and ran. Then, Mom found me and offered to let me sleep here for the night. I told her I was a runaway. She told me I could stay with her for as long as I liked."

The tears fall off Lacy's cheeks and I wipe them away, as I have so many times in the basement. Deena has been watching silently but now she steps up. "Um? Keith, why don't you go get adjusted in your room? Try on the clothes, put whatever doesn't fit at the top of the stairs, okay?" She takes me by the hand and leads me back to my room.

I think she is uncomfortable at how close Lacy and me are. I'm not sure why though. "Thank you Deena." I say politely as she is walking out of 'my' room.

Deena nods at me then walks out. Weird lady, not that I'm complaining. I try on shirt after shirt, about half of them swallowing me whole. Lacy is standing at the doorway, just watching. "Are you gonna stay here?" She asks, after I've struggled out of another shirt.

I shrug. "The police are looking for my parents. I don't know yet." My voice sounds rough.

Lacy nods, as if she was expecting to hear this. "I hope you stay, if that changes anything." She whispers.

I look at her, truly look at her, and I see just another kid. Another scared, piss-ant kid who had to grow up too fast. Then it's gone and Lacy is back, my rock. I smile at her. "I want to stay," I tell her, it's my way of comforting her.

She smiles back and then we're just staring at each other, we don't have the vocabulary for such a moment as this. "I, uh, saw the picture that Father took of you." I stutter, just to stop the maddening silence.

Lacy looks at the ground, and I can see that tears are just underneath the surface. "Oh." Is all she says. 

I walk closer to her and hug her. "It's okay Lacy. We're gone now, right?"

She nods, still not looking at me. I walk back to my clothes and throw my old rags on. They're comfortable and they fit me better than the rest of my clothes.  "She got you pants too, just so you know." Lacy says and walks away.

I start to rifle through the drawers. Most of the pants hang off my bony hips, but a belt will cinch them nicely, none of the clothes go to the top of the stairs, I've been taught not to be wasteful. I'm shrugging into the last pair of jeans when Deena comes back up. "Did I just see Lacy in here?" She asks me, looking worried.

"Yeah,why?" I ask, not sure why she's looking at me like that. 

"Well...after you put some clothes on, why don't you come down into the kitchen?" She asks me, her lips pursed, like she tastes something sour.

Lacy and Deena are already in the kitchen, Lacy looks sad and Deena looks like a combination of prissy and unsure. "Kids, we must have a discussion, if you are both going to stay here."She starts off.

I sit next to Lacy, which earns a frown from Deena. "I don't know what happened between you two before, when you guys were in that man's basement, but none of that goes on here."She says.

I nod, wholeheartedly agreeing with her. No more beatings, no more cursing or shouting or starving. Sounds good to me. Lacy stands up and points a finger at Deena. "How dare you think I did anything with him! He's twelve, he's a little kid! All I did was protect him!" She shouts.

What would she have done with me? I look at Deena but she is busy staring at the table. "What does she mean?" I ask.

Deena won't look at me so I follow Lacy up the stairs. I go in without knocking. Lacy is packing her stuff up. "You can't leave again. We're safe here." I tell her.

She frowns at me, "I'm not gonna stay here while that woman thinks I'm a pedophile!"

"Whats that?" I ask her.

She shoves past me and starts walking down the stairs. But something in my face must stop her because she turns, softens. "You can come with, if you like. Go pack." She climbs back up the stairs and goes into my room.

She starts packing for me and a part of me I didn't even know about relaxes. She is in charge, like always, she will know what to do. "Take it and let's split." She throws a bag at me.

We walk down the stairs, Deena has moved from the kitchen to the living room, numbly flipping through channels. "Goodbye." Lacy is curt and forward, stepping in the path of the TV. 

I follow, unable to look Deena in the eyes. She doesn't put up a fight, as I was hoping/expecting. She doesn't even take her eyes away from the TV. Lacy stomps down the stairs and then looks at  me, I have frozen by the door. "Coming?" Her voice is cold, detached.

I shake my head. I can't go with her, not when God has given me this chance. She sneers at me, for a second I think she might actually spit. Then she is gone, off to God knows where. And I'm not with her.....

Lucy walked over to me, waking me up. "Huh?" I asked,to sleepy to lift my head up.

She kissed my cheek. "I'm leaving tonight, Keith. I came to say goodbye." She got up.

I lifted myself up then and watched her walk away. I knew her leaving would mean hell for the rest of us but I was glad to see her go. I folded my hands in prayer and asked if God could keep her safe......

I walk back inside, Deena is still watching TV.  "I'm sorry to bother you...mom...but I really don't know what you were talking about earlier." I say quietly.

She wipes a tear away from her cheek, she looks too nice to be crying. I sit on the couch next to her and just look, waiting for her to explain. "I thought that because of the way you lived, you may have...had sex, or done other things with her." She mumbles, a blush rising to her cheeks.

No wonder Lacy left. "It wasn't like that. Lacy was like my mother." I whisper, getting up, leaving Deena to sit and wonder. 

If I was Deena, I would be searching for Lacy right now. But I'm not Deena, I'm Keith and right about now I don't want to be him either. Upstairs, I go to my room and lie down on the bed with the blue Tigers quilt. The tears fall helplessly and I hate myself for it. I never cried in the Basement, it was considered weak and I'd have gotten the tar whipped out of me. The ceiling is prickly white and I try to focus on that, so the tears will stop. Why didn't I go with Lacy? She'd been there the most for me, She was always there when I needed her. And yet, the ONE time she needed me I wasn't there for her. Damn it, the tears are falling all over again. I hear a door slam downstairs and Deena is telling someone not to go up there. Up where? Here? "It's my f*****g room." I hear a voice say, it sounds rough, like the owner of the voice shouts a lot. I'm wiping away my tears when a boy comes in, he must be Keenan. He is wearing a dark brown hoodie that has random bleach stains on it. He's got on ripped jeans that sag really low. He has crazy short platinum blonde hair and his eyes, which are looking me over, are a beady blue.  "Who are you? Get your f****t tears off my bed." he growls and flings the skateboard he's holding into the closet. I wince when it hits the wall with a loud SMACK!. 

I stand up hastily and wipe away my tears. "What's a f****t?" I ask, aware that I sound like a small child.

Keenan gives me a weird look. "You're Keith, aint you? Mom told me about you, said you were special. So, does that mean you're retarded?" He asks me, sneering.

I keep my mouth shut, not sure what to say. Lacy always said my Tourette's made me special, but I don't think she meant it mean. "No I'm not retarded. I have Tourette's." I say, moving over to the other bed.

Keenan throws me another weird look, like I'm an alien. My shoulder jerks three times, very rapidly, as if my body was saying 'Look, I have a disease!' He laughs at that. "Ha, you got that twitchy disease! Whuddup Twitch?" He asks.

My hands clench all by themselves. In the basement the newbies would make fun of me for my constant motor/vocal tics and I always had Lacy to hold me back. I always wanted to hit the kid who made fun of me, and now I had the chance. I rush at Keenan, knocking him to the ground and surprising him. I'm hitting him and kicking him and I've made his nose bleed, I think I broke it. He's holding up his hands to stop me but I keep going. I hear a crack and I think I've broken his fingers too. "Stop! I'm sorry!" Keenan is crying, the tears cut streaks through the blood.

I back away slowly, starting to cry myself. I didn't think I'd hurt him that bad...Deena is rushing into the room. She sees me, cowering in the corner, and then she sees Keenan, who has stood up but is shaking badly and his face is still covered in blood. She goes to him first, hugging him. Keenan shrugs her off, sniffling blood and snot. "I'm fine. It's that retard that needs help." He hisses.

Deena turns to me, her face is a mask. For just a second I can see what she does; A dangerous boy that might flip any second. "What happened?" She asks, her voice composed.

"He deserved it. He called me a f****t, a retard, then he called me Twitch." I say, my voice shaking.

Keenan sits on his bed and stares at me, he's gotten a tissue for his bloody nose. "Your point? This is not how we handle how anger Keith!" Deena yells.

How is she gonna yell at me? Yeah, he didn't deserve to have a broken nose, but still! "Aint you gonna yell at him?" I ask, my voice is still shaking but now more with anger than anything.

"No, he's not the bad guy here!" Deena shouts at me. 

She comes toward me and I cover into a ball, thinking she is going to hit me, like Father would have. She backs up a step, sighs and looks back at Keenan. "I can't have this going on in my house. Keenan, go get in the car. Keith, pack up your stuff." She says.

"Where are we going?" Keenan asks, his voice stuffy.

"You are going to the hospital. Keith is going back to the police station." Deena leaves the room, motioning for Keenan to follow. 

My heart sinks. Not that I want to stay here now, but the feeling of not being wanted strikes deep.

CHAPTER FOUR

Ms. Rossetti is here, she is sitting on my cot, patting my knee. She seems to understand how it wasn't my fault, even though Deena and Keenan say it was. She says that she has good news though, they believe they've contacted my parents! I'm so happy at this but incredibly nervous too, I mean, seven years is a long time. They're going to be expecting an illiterate feral child or maybe they'll expect a taller, five year old boy that vanished so suddenly from their lives. I don't think I'll be what they expect;I'm somewhat smart, I'm tall, and I'm quiet. Ms. Rossetti must see something on my face because she hugs me, she smells nice, like cookies and vanilla and just general goodness. "Honey, are you nervous? We won't tell them about your altercation with Keenan." She comforts.

I could laugh at her, I'm not worried about that at all. But I nod and hug her back. "Thanks Ms....Jan." I yawn and she takes this as her cue to leave. 

"Wait!" I hold up my hands.

She looks back at me, startled. "What is it, hon?"

I duck my head a little, embarrassed that I shocked her like that. "Nothing, I was just wondering if I could borrow one of your books again. In case I can't sleep." I stumble.

I can see her shoulders relax as she lets out a sigh of relief, I wonder what she thought I was going to say. "Of course, come on and pick one out." She takes my hand and leads me back to her office. She stands silently behind me as I look over her books again. There aren't a lot but still, to have information or just entertainment at the tip of your finger, its awe. I pick out a book called 'When I fall'. It's got a picture of a girl's face on the cover, she has bright green eyes. Jan sees the cover and smiles. "Oh, I loved that book. Brought tears to my eyes," She says.

I've just finished reading the book, it's late at night, or I think it may be early in the morning. The book didnt bring tears to my eyes, but it did creep me out, not that it was scary. But the book was basically about the concept of death, something that has been pretty rock solid in my head. I always figured that when you died, you died. Nothing happened after. I don't know where I got my idea, but there it is. The book makes me think though, what if you keep repeating the day you died, or worse,what if you kept reliving your life, helpless to stop or change anything? God, that would really bite. 

I'm going to meet my parents tomorrow, maybe that's the reason I don't wanna sleep tonight. But I know I have to, so I put the book down and close my eyes. The lamp stays on though, when it's dark I can picture Father in the corner,  just waiting, like a boogeyman, or like Death himself................

I was dressed in a starchy baby blue suit,  hot and cranky. My mom dragged me to a weird building, it has flowers on the inside, they're everywhere. And at the back of the room, there was a big black box, people would go by it and drop stuff in it. I tugged on my mom's sleeve. "What, honey?" She asked, she was crying.

I pointed to the box. "What is that mamma? Is that like the donation box when Santa comes to the mall?" I asked.

Mom shook her head and gave me a nasty look, like she did when I used to pick my boogers in public. "No Keith. They put a body in there,  she died." My mom explained.

I looked back at the box, my feet turning cold. "Momma, I wanna go. What if the lady in there ain't dead? What if she's just sleeping?" I asked, starting to hide behind her.

Mom pushed me away from her gently but firmly. Her mouth was set in a grim line. "That is enough of that young man! You have too much imagination for a five year old, why don't you go down to the waiting room and watch TV if you don't want to be in here." She ushered me out.

I walked down the long hallway to the room she was talking about. A family was in there, an old man and his wife, along with two young kids. I sat down by the door, watching them. "Hello there sonny." The old man said.

I smiled at him warily. His wife was crying but trying not to show it, the two kids, both girls, were staring at the TV. One of them was sucking their thumb. "May I ask you something?" I walked up to the old man.

His smile was puzzled but polite. "Sure."

I sat right up close to him and his eyes, a faded blue, lit up, like he was happy to have an audience. "What happens when we die?" I asked.

The old man frowned, "Well nobody knows that for sure. My wife, Alana, thinks that nothing happens. She thinks that when we die, we just die. You ever see a candle go out suddenly? Well, that's what we think happens." He explained.

I stuck my thumb in my mouth. The old man looked away from me, probably thinking he should have told a kid as young as me about heaven or hell or some bogus like that. "Don't get me wrong. I believe in God and I believe that he helps us out, I just don't think he wants us to live for eternity. That explain anything, sonny?" He asked, looking at me again.

I nodded, my thumb still in my mouth. My mom came in a couple of minutes later, and took me out of the lobby. "Come on Keith. Time to go home." She said, her voice scratchy from crying.

On the way home I asked mom why she went to the place if it made her cry. "Because it shows respect for the dead." She said curtly.

I looked out the window, thinking. "Mom, what happens when we die?" I asked her, thinking she would tell me something different, something more hopeful.

Mom turned the radio up, drowning out my voice and my unanswerable question. She didn't know the answer either.....

"Keith. Keith, wake up." A man is shaking me. 

I jerk awake and curl into a ball, thinking it is Father for a second. Then my vision clears and I see it is an officer. He is a stocky man with a black buzz-cut and brown eyes that look sleepy. "Who are you?" I ask, sitting up and stretching.

"I'm Officer Daniels. Ms. Rossetti said to let you sleep in, she figured you stayed up late. But I gotta wake you up now. Your parents are here." He says. 

I stand up on unsteady feet and grab the bag Deena gave me. I follow him into the lobby, my whole body thrumming with energy. I see a man,impossibly tall, with dark brown hair and  light blue eyes. He's wearing a suit, though it looks faded and rumpled. There are streaks of grey in his hair....why don't I remember him? Then it hits me like a giant wave, that man is my father! I smile and have to resist the urge to fling myself in his arms, he can't see me yet. Next to him is my mother. She looks smaller, sadder and her once blonde hair has turned to shockingly soft white. She looks older, way older, but still pretty, in a classy way. And walking around aimlessly, is Dennis. He's pale, his blonde hair grown past his ears, hanging over his shoulders. His blue eyes are distant and faraway, like he is thinking of something (me?), his body is lanky and wired with muscle. Officer Daniels pats my back. "Ready?" He asks.

I nod and walk up to my family. "Hi." I whisper, my voice coming out as a small croak.

CHAPTER FIVE

My room isn't exactly as I left it. It still looks like it's meant for a five year old, because there is a five year old living it. After I had been kidnapped, my parents adopted a young boy, his name is Adam. My parents were excited to see me but I think the shock of having a teenage son all of a sudden frightens them. They already went through it with Dennis, and he had a normal childhood. I'm in my room right now, which is the guest room. I don't mind, I'm glad to be home. Dennis was distant during the car ride, and dinner. He's acting like I'm carrying some type of contagion. The little boy, Adam, is weird. He's a chubby little kid, with wiry orange hair and small blue eyes. I think he thinks I'm trying to move in on his place. Mom says she tried explaining to him about my situation. Right now I'm sitting in the guest room, eating left over pizza. It's weird to be home. I thought I would feel comfortable, after all it is my home. But I feel like I'm walking on eggshells through a saran-wrapped landscape. I can hear Dennis playing a game on his computer, and I can hear mom and dad sleeping. They put Adam to bed hours ago. When he went to say goodnight to me, he 'forgot' and ran right past me, like he was afraid.

I walk into Dennis' room, knocking first. He looks at me then nods for me to come in. "Hey kid." He grunts.

"Hey."

He looks at me again, his eyes are sad. "I'm sorry you know.For everything." He mumbles and looks away, but I can see a sheen of tears has shadowed his eyes.

"For?" I ask.

He shrugs his shoulders. "You know, being mean to you all the time. And it was my fault you got kidnapped, I should have been watching you or at least helping." He says. 

I get up from my spot on the floor and awkwardly hug him. Dennis jumps but hugs me back after a moment. "It's good to have you back, lil brother." He says and kisses my cheek.

"Good to be back." I say, not sure if I mean it. 

He smiles at me then turns his computer off. There's a look in his eyes that remind me of Lacy and my heart droops a little. "Goodnight kid." He says.

Lacy and I were in the middle of the basement, she was ten and I was eight. "Laci, do you think Father will ever let us go?" I whispered to her.

She shook her head. "No. Why would he? He makes money off us Keith." She said bluntly.

There are other kids surrounding us, like always, but they seemed like a bubble, they didnt pay attention to us, and vice versa. She held my hands, playing with the inner lines of my palms. "I'm sorry." I told her.

"Why?"She asked, even though she knows.

"I'm sorry that Father put you here." I said quietly.

She kissed my cheek. "It's not your fault." She laughed, and that made me feel better.

I made a loud noise, it was like half throat clearing and half shout. The other kids looked over at me. "Whats up with the ree-tard?" A girl, around ten, asked, laughing at me. I guess even being kidnapped didnt solve the 'Bullying Problem.' 

Lacy glared at her and I did too. My arm lashed out sideways and the girl laughed. Lacy stood up and got in the girl's face. "Get away now."Lacy growled.

The girl scurried away, like the basement rat she was, and Lacy sat down again. "I'm not a retard." I said, contrite.

She hugged me. "I know, that's why you got me to protect you. You're too smart to fight." She looked me in the eyes when she said that................

I wake up crying. I'm not smart anymore Lacy, I think to myself. The silence is maddening. In the basement before, I could hear the heavy breathing of all the other kids, and Lacy would sing me to sleep-if I was having trouble. The light pours in my window so I don't need the light on anymore. The rest of the family is still sleeping. I take out the belt from the bag that Deena gave me. There's a bar in my closet....so goodbye. I think I want to write an individual note to everybody, but I'm not sure I have enough words for everyone. I guess to Dennis and Mom and Dad, I'm sorry and I love you but I'm not ready for this world yet. My beginning was fucked up so I guess my ending should be too. And to Lacy, if anybody finds you-I love you and I want to thank you for being there for me when you didn't have to be.

Keith "Twitch"

Mom found Keith first, she passed out in a dead faint. Adam walked in after her to see what had happened. He threw up and started screaming. I ran in, thinking that Keith has hurt himself. I was right and for once I didnt want to be. We found a wrinkled set of papers by the bed, I thought it was his suicide note....All of the above is what he wrote. Dad's on a business trip, mom hasn't told him yet. The funeral is going to be on Saturday, which is ironically, his birthday.-Dennis