My Rose

As is sit tonight

I feel all is right

but I know that I am wrong

 

Deep in my heart

Deep in my soul

Sings that same old song

Of troubles yet to come

 

But I'll smile today

I'll enjoy my time

The calm before the storm

 

I've found in my life

I know sitting here tonight

Good things just dont last long

 

That little thorn

That little rose

The one that doesnt wait

 

It follows me now

It watches me sit

See's my smile

Planning its next move

day by day

 

The coffin to easy

That pain to quick

So much better

I'm alive

So I can sit

 

Knowing that thorn

Smelling that rose

That doesn't wait for my grave.

 

Ursula Kay Vos

10/3/2011

Author's Note

Updated the errors in punctuation 10/17/2011

Reviews

[EMF]

OK. First the Critique. Second from last stanza it should be I'm alive. and the last stanza should be doesn't. Beyond that this poem is sheer perfection. Yeah. It's not an easy poem to read, dealing with a pain that people don't want to look at. That night time emotion, where people are washed by their own insecurities and fears. But it handles it well and portrays it wonderfully. Another superb write.

[Ursula Kay Vos]

So blessed to have such great connections here on WC!! Thank you Chris for your critiques! I do tend to leave out the simplest of punctuations when I write from time to time, ok more often than that :) in my furry of words I guess, and Art for your kind words and identifiction with this writing. Of course Antonio, thank you for always having a kind word to say on my work and uplifting spirit. All three of you really have had that uplifting spirit! Thank you! Also thank you to the other two writers who have reviewed this piece to date. I appreciate all reviews and feedback!

[Arthur Henn]

Deep in my heart
Deep in my soul
Sings that same old song
Of troubles yet to come

I really could feel them four lines

Great writing - The rose is my favorite flower - I think we all have a rose that we can claim our own... One that won't wait for our grave. Excellent!

[Buzz_Reynolds]

the person below me described it in the best way, beautiful!

[M Garcia]

beautiful

[Antonio Valentino]

we can never smell thy rose of promise if we never grasp thy thorns of chance...


loved this Collette.
Antonio :)