Loneliness

Loneliness

A Poem by It Will Change

You search and search
for someone who cares,
anyone who understands...
loneliness,
it hurts,
it kills you deep inside,
it makes you feel empty,
it stops you in your stride,
you cry yourself to sleep,
hugging your pillow tight
wishing for someone
to hold you through the night.

© 2017 It Will Change



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Reviews

Enjoyed it. Keep writing

Posted 2 Months Ago


So true...when we are in pain we do that and search for someone who can understand our pain well and we can share with him/ her.....well written.

Posted 4 Months Ago


It Will Change

4 Months Ago

Thank you dear :)
Priyanshi

4 Months Ago

My pleasure.
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
ah!
what a wonderful poem it was..and i could relate to this!
beautifully written.

Posted 5 Months Ago


It Will Change

5 Months Ago

Thank you and keep reading :)
Impacted deep into my mind.
Great write.
Each and every word is wisely chosen.

Posted 6 Months Ago


It Will Change

6 Months Ago

Thank you :)
Struck straight through heart... Totally relatable.. each and every sentence.....

Posted 6 Months Ago


It Will Change

6 Months Ago

Thank you :)
a daily story and a true one

Posted 6 Months Ago


It Will Change

6 Months Ago

yes its liike a routine ...thank you for reading :)
"You search and search
for someone who cares,
anyone who understands...
loneliness,
it hurts," - I like what you're going for, I would suggest adding more description. Don't tell us that loneliness hurts - Show us. How does it hurt? What does it taste like? look like? sound like?

"it kills you deep inside,
it makes you feel empty,
it stops you in your stride," - Again, you have a good outline, but I think it needs more than just stating things about loneliness. I like the stride line because it gave me something to imagine - envision.

"you cry yourself to sleep,
hugging your pillow tight" - This is good, I like the imagery - tap into that empathy and think about how you would explain this without cliche's, to someone who was feeling it for the first time.

overall, I like the idea, and feel this is a great outline. I think it could use a bit more as far as imagery goes. Don't tell the readers - move them. Make the feel by showing them. Thank you for the read, Write on.

-Rynn


Posted 6 Months Ago


It Will Change

6 Months Ago

Thank you very much for reviewing Rynn...its hard to describe how it hurts but i'll definetly try to.. read more
Rynn

6 Months Ago

I understand, describing things like that isn't easy. I believe in you. Looking forward to more grea.. read more
that's really true,,the word 'loneliness' itself is a curse... pretty piece...keep writing

Posted 6 Months Ago


It Will Change

6 Months Ago

Thank you :)
Touching, mesmerisng! Very well done!

Posted 6 Months Ago


It Will Change

6 Months Ago

THank you Shaan :)
Short piece, but very touching too. Loneliness is real for many. Well written piece which has a lot of depth to it.
Thank you for sharing.

Mark.

Posted 6 Months Ago


It Will Change

6 Months Ago

Thank you Mark :)
matrixmark

6 Months Ago

No need to thank me.

I thank you for putting up here.

Mark.

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Added on April 5, 2017
Last Updated on April 5, 2017

Author

It Will Change
It Will Change

Pune, India



About
Hello, my name is Vaibhav, i don't know if i am even a writer, what i mostly do is write down my feelings and some fiction stories. more..

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