A Connection

This is somewhat true, people, places. Though the events itself didn't take place...and the idea of this story came to me...and actually made me cry.

I opened my eyes and sat up slowly. I was wearing the clothes I wore yesterday so I guessed I passed out before I could change. I was on my bed in my room. I rubbed my eyes and looked around. What use to be a room full of clothes, furniture, and a desk was now filled with boxes.

               I stood up and made a confused face. I was about to open the nearest box to see what was in it when I heard noises coming from downstairs. I glanced one more time at the boxes and then walked into the hallway. Another face was made when I saw my bedroom door was wide open.

               I jumped down two steps at a time until I reached the bottom. I looked into the living room to find my entire family sitting around smiling and laughing. All their eyes were fixed on the recently born baby, Annabelle. My brother was holding her. My brother, the father of the baby. I stopped and smiled to myself. I was real proud of my brother. He’s come a long way and I personally thought he’d make a great dad.

               I stepped forward. “Hey, everyone, “I smiled and approached slowly. My family continued to smile and talk amongst each other.

 

*             *             *            

               I stared down into my daughter’s brown eyes and smiled.

               “Oh she is so adorable!” My grandmother spoke from a chair opposite of me.

               “I know, right! But she’s defiantly a trouble maker at night when we’re trying to sleep.” My fiancé spoke from beside me. A few family members spoke.

               Out of nowhere I felt a small, almost unrealistic wind pass by my face. I looked around and saw my family smiling and talking to each other. I couldn’t hear a thing they said. But I heard a distant voice yell, and I recognized the voice.

“Hello?!” The voice echoed and then died down. Then I could hear the voices of the family members around me. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I put on the best smile I could and handed Annabelle to my fiancé. I excused myself and walked out of the house.

*             *             *

               I was screaming at the top of my lungs.

               “Hello?!” I screamed. Again, no response. If this was their idea of a prank it was pretty sick, even by my standards. I sat down at the table and watched my family ignore me. My eyes examined each member of the family looking for a flaw in their acting. I found none, until I saw my brother. He had turned pale and seemed scared.

               “Excuse me, I’m going outside for some air.” He smiled. I almost wanted to laugh because he was terrible at acting. But I didn’t because that’s what scared me. I knew something was wrong.

               My brother walked out the back door and I stood up. The family fell silent and my grandmother spoke softly,” Ever since IT happened, he’s just been down in the dumps.” A few members nodded.

               I followed my brother outside. He was standing on the edge of the field looking towards the mountains where the sun was about to set behind them. I stood beside my brother as he smoked. I was silent and so was he.

               A few tears were on his face. I looked at the ground and stayed silent. I was never good at this kind of situation. Then he spoke quietly. Almost as if he was just speaking to himself. As he spoke, his voice cracked.

*             *             *

               I tried not to cry but there was no use in trying not to. I looked at the sunset and remembered all the good times before. I began to speak out loud without realizing it.

               “I miss you, man. Ever since you left, I’ve been having trouble coping with life. I have trouble getting through work, I can’t exercise anymore, and now I’m having doubts on being a good dad. I need you now more than ever.”

*             *             *

               “Since who left?” I tried to ask. But he just kept on talking about how hard things were now. He even talked about all the good times on Xbox. I almost smiled. But it was a sad smile, he seemed so… aged. As if life paid him a visit and sucked the life right out of him.

               “I’m right here, man.” He didn’t look my way. I fell silent. After what seemed to be hours, my brother walked back inside. I followed.

*             *             *

               I stood there for maybe 20 minutes slowly trying to get a grip on myself. He was gone and nothing would bring him back. These words are true but I knew nothing would be the same ever again. I took a few deep breaths and slowly nodded to myself before turning around.

               I went back inside, but I avoided the living room. I went around the house and entered through the front door. I went up a flight of stairs and took a door to the left that was my apartment that my fiancé and I rented out from my grandparents.

               I entered the apartment and walked around the couch and past the TV to the far corner of the room. I stopped and just looked at the corner.

*             *             *

               I followed my brother into his apartment and followed him around his couch. I was about to say something when I noticed that his eyes were fixed on something in the corner. I stood beside him and looked at a small shelf. On the shelf was a picture of… me? I took a step forward and saw a framed article next to my picture. The article was titled ‘Young Teen Dies In Car Incident’. Underneath the title was a picture of the beat up white car that I drove to school and back. The car was on a road and flipped upside down. One tired was missing from the car. I read a little of the article and found out that the treads on one of the tires popped and made the car spin out of control.

               I looked back at my brother who was all out crying now. My heart was thumping fast and my eyes were becoming watery. I stood in front of him and slowly put my right hand on his shoulder.” You’ll be a great dad, bro.” That was all I could say before I started to cry too.

*             *             *

               I was crying uncontrollably now. I couldn’t help it. The thought of my younger brother dead because of an accident he didn’t even cause was almost unbearable. He’ll never see Annabelle grow up, he’ll never make the family laugh with his humor. I sniffed a few times and looked at the picture of my brother. It was a school picture but he was looking right into the camera with a smile.

               I was about to burst into another set of tears when I felt a sudden warmth on my left shoulder.  Again, my brother’s distant voice spoke.” You’ll be a great dad, bro.” It echoed and then vanished. I felled onto the couch and cried more. But for some reason, I felt like there was still a piece of him here with me. It gave me some comfort and strangely enough, in the mist of my crying, I smiled slightly.

Reviews

[Jazique]

That was wonderful writing and yet sad too. Your writing came out barely any errors in sight. You did a marvelous job in descriptions and stringing the reader along for by the time of the third section I knew someone had died. It was a little confusing every now in then with * * * but, the writing was excellent with a title that really connected to the writing as both boys felt as if the other were still their with them as if they never left. Well done with your story and keep up the amazing work for you could feel the emotions of the characters throughout the story.

[SilentDreamer]

A few grammatical errors. But other wise I love this. Seriously, I do. It caught my attention right away and then I just kept reading, really interested. Yeah, switching back and forth is kinda confusing, but I didn't get lost. It was just really creative and I love how you wrote it. Great job!!

[megfiregoddess]

This was really sad and I love the emotion in it. The thing is that its really hard to follow. The constant switching back and forth for brother to brother is hard to understand. You lost me half way through the story because I couldn't understand what was physically going on in the scene. It would be a lot easier to understand if you kept the scene from the point of view of one brother. Personally, I think staying from the point of view of the living brother would be better because it makes it even more emotional. Is he truly feeling the ghost of his brother or is the grief just too much to bear?

[Closed Account]

Awwwww, this is so sad ): Like, so sad, I'm about to cry because of this.
I like it though (not because it's sad, because it's really good)
Even though it's making me cry, great job(: